Post # 1
We just got engaged and we are decided that we are happy to wait 2+ years to get married due to finances, study commitments for me and business commitments for him so thats all ticked us at this point in time. However, l feel like we should have an engagement party but we are not party hosting people, we like family dinners so i get worried how it will turn out.
Our families after 6 years have not met and I think its the perfect opportunity for them to before the wedding but is it okay to have an engagement party 6+ months after your engaged?
Fi doesnt even want one but he can suck it up, he’s just worried about money but I think a BBQ at his parents house is perfect, I would like low-key with all the children being able to have a good time too.
Post # 3
@Shonzilla: Have his parents offered to host this? Engagement parties are something someone hosts for you, in your honor (and traditionally, it is the bride’s parents hosting, to “announce” the engagement — but more recently, others have taken on the host role). I think having a dinner with your two familes would be nice though, if it’s been six years and they haven’t met!
Post # 4
@Shonzilla: An engagement party (according to Ita Buttrose, Australian etiquette queen) should be held within 6 months of getting engaged but preferable closer to the date of engagement as possible.
My parents threw us an engagement party in their backyard. It was just a casual BBQ. My sister had her engagement party at the local RSL club. There was definately too different vibes. I prefered the casual backyeard vibe.
Why not allow your FIL’s to throw you one this summer? Who doesn’t like a nice backyard BBQ during summer? Beer fro the adults and snags for the kids!
Post # 5
@kmb727: No we were just talking about it and we are pretty laid back so don’t expect anyone to host/pay for it, helping with a location (FMIL’s house is local for all bar my family) and maybe certian people making some signature dishes.
My family live 2 hours away from where we do with children and work so we often have to drive to see them as its hard for them to see us. We could have it at our house but FMIL’s house is better setup for it.
@j_jaye: That sounds perfect but we would pay for it because then there isn’t who paid what drama going on. Just have to convince FI 🙂
Can I ask what the costs where with your BBQ? I was budgeting about $1000. I don’t need fancy cakes and table decorations and all that, happy with a bunch of hanging lanterns, some games for the kids, a friendly game of cricket down the road and good vibe.
I would love it at my mothers house because its right near the beach but everyone except my family would be put out by the travel etc and thats not fare for 90% of them to travel for one night.
Post # 6
@Shonzilla: It probably cost about $2000. We put on beer, wine, breezers and soft drink. We just had snags, hamburgers, vegie burgers and assorted salads. We also had a sheet cake from the local bakery and mum and I made some pavlovas and chocolate ripple cakes because they were easy to do. We had about 80 people because I have a large family.
It was a hot afternoon/evening so we put the slippery dip on for the kids and then just let them play backyard cricket, keepings off and tag.
Post # 7
@j_jaye: Ill have that please. haha. Soo… maybe start at about 3 – late. Kids can sleep with a movie on when us adults are out the back. Now just to work out when to have it and how to make FI okay with the idea 🙂
Post # 8
@Shonzilla: We recently had our engagement barbecue, and we had been together for just over 5 years without our families meeting (well, more than a brief “hello” anyway). We had just shy of 30 people over at my parents’ house, and it was jointly hosted by my parents and my partner and I (he did all the cooking, since he’s a chef). I don’t see a problem with hosting it yourself at all. We had ours 4 months after the official engagement, but I don’t think it’s wrong to wait longer, since it’s informal and more about family meeting anyway!
For food, we went a little gourmet I guess, and ended up spending a few hundred dollars there. Alcohol was another few hundred. So maybe about $600-$700 in total. Then we decorated with balloons, lanterns, and flowers.
It was really casual but the weather turned out perfect (saying a lot for Victoria…) and everyone enjoyed themselves. I much preferred it to the formal engagement my BFF had earlier this year.
Post # 9
We just got engaged on Wednesday after being together for almost 6 years.
I don’t really want an engagement party but my fiancé does, so we will probably have one in maybe February next year, bit busy beforenthen with Christmas and everything.
We will probably have it at a local pub, it’s really nice and you can hire out different sections of it, we will probably hire out part of the roof top bar. I’m expecting to spend around $2000. We will probably have about 100 people there, inviting about 180 to the wedding but a fair amount are interstate.
Post # 10
@kmb727: in Australia an engagement party is pretty customary and the couples generally host it themselves. Pretty ich everyone I know that has got engaged has held and engagement party on their own, generally at their house or somewhere similar.
@shonzilla I’m a perth bee toooo! Congrats.
I think 6 months is fine for an engagement party ours will be 4 months later due To Xmas and new years etc. our is in January so no doubt it will be boiling. Plus if your wedding is years away it will still be a big break between the party and wedding. Have fun!
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2015 - Russell's Pizza House
We got engaged in May 2013 and will have our engagement party May 2014.
You only do it once so do exactly what you want to do and your friends and family will be happy for you.
Post # 12
@moonbride: Sounds Lovley!!
@monique_w: Congrats 🙂 A roof top party sounds awesome!
@bubbycakes: True that! Jan is hot but perfect for a swim or some cricket 🙂 Yay for Perth!! Lets hope the flies arnt too bad!
@LobotomyParty: I like that you waited a while to have what you wanted. My mother keeps saying “lets just have it now at the family home” which i keep telling her no because thats 2 hours drive for everyone bar her and my immediate faily (about 10 people vs 60ish) and we want to do it when things settle, she is worried that “the moment will be lost” yes well it will be and it has, I have exams and so what…… anyway, I would be okay if our families just met and we didnt have a big party 🙂
Hope all is going well with everyone today 🙂
Post # 13
So it turns out, my mother and her husband are going back overseas – he is going Jan and mum is going around May… so thats why SHE wants a party then, BILTB and his GF are going on a holiday December – Jan….. so how about no.