Engagement Party?

posted 3 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
2426 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Personally, I’d have it now or never.  Waiting a few years and then having it seems weird to me (why celebrate the engagement 2 years after it happened?)

Post # 3
808 posts
Busy bee

LilSoph:  Have it now if you’re going to do it, waiting any longer seems a bit silly.

Post # 4
7518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Personally I would think it a little gift grabby to have an engagement party over 4 months after you actually got engaged. The purpose of an engagement party is to celebrate a new engagement. After 4 months you have been living as an engaged couple and are no longer newly engaged. If you had it over a year after I would definately think you were after gifts or attention.

Post # 5
2533 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Its been several months and you’re not supposed to host your own engagement party, I’d probably let this one go. Especially if your wedding isn’t for a few years since you have no idea what your guest list will look like (venue might require a smaller one, friendships change, etc.)

Post # 6
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

LilSoph:  PPs are correct that hosting your own engagement party is considered to be in poor taste. I also agree that, after four months, the engagement party ship has sailed.

Whatever you do, please keep in mind that anyone invited to any pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding. So, unless you are prepared to commit to at least part of your guest list now, it’s probably smart to skip the early parties.

Post # 7
825 posts
Busy bee

We sent out engagement party invitations 4 monts after getting engaged, with the party being 6 weeks from then. Frankly, I wanted the party to be earlier, but we’re coordinating with out of town in-laws and then it was the holidays when many people were busy with family or other party committments. We still have another 14 months until the wedding.

Our engagement party is not being hosted by us, and did not include any mention of our website or registry information. We’re expecting no gifts, have encouraged people not to buy us anything, but some people have already managed to track down our registry anyway. 

I agree with PP that you should send out invitations pretty immediately if you’re going to have one at all. 

Post # 8
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with the above – go ahead and do it now.  As for inviting family vs. friends, if FI really wants it to focus around family, could you have a smaller party and invite only a couple of your closest friends?  You’ll have lots of opportunities to throw parties with friends, after all (bachelorette, shower, etc).  Just a thought!

Post # 9
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I got engaged in October and my engagement party is this weekend (March 15th) – it’s being thrown in my hometown and I have to travel for it, otherwise it would have been earlier.

I would say have it sooner rather than later. Also you can’t throw your own engagement party. A family friend is hosting mine. 

It isn’t gift grabby because engagement parties are not traditionally gift giving occasions. Several people have called the hostess of my party asking if gifts are to be brought and she has told them no. It’s just a chance to celebrate and let everyone meet each other! 

Post # 10
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I agree with your FI, just family is a good idea.  This is a nice occasion for the families to come together and get to know each other in a small gathering.  More people would just make things more hectic and less intimate.

I also appreciate when the bride limits the number of events I have to attend.  I expect to attend a friend’s shower and wedding, but add in an engagement party and a bachelorette and it’s too much for me.      

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