Post # 1
Please bare with me – this is my first post!
So my boyfriend of 5 years proposed to me last November and I said yes! Absolute dream come true!
problem is it’s now march and both of us have said we want to have an engagement party but seem to keep putting it off! I want to invite family and friends (who will be going to wedding ofcourse) but he would rather just invite family. We’re in the process of moving in with his parents after they buy a new house (so we can save for our wedding and our own house deposit).
Were not geting married for a few years until we’re both working full time and not students anymore. I’m just starting to wonder wether it’s worth having an engagement party around now or leaving it for a couple of years.
Thanks for any advice (:
Post # 2
Personally, I’d have it now or never. Waiting a few years and then having it seems weird to me (why celebrate the engagement 2 years after it happened?)
Post # 3
LilSoph: Have it now if you’re going to do it, waiting any longer seems a bit silly.
Post # 4
Personally I would think it a little gift grabby to have an engagement party over 4 months after you actually got engaged. The purpose of an engagement party is to celebrate a new engagement. After 4 months you have been living as an engaged couple and are no longer newly engaged. If you had it over a year after I would definately think you were after gifts or attention.
Post # 5
Its been several months and you’re not supposed to host your own engagement party, I’d probably let this one go. Especially if your wedding isn’t for a few years since you have no idea what your guest list will look like (venue might require a smaller one, friendships change, etc.)
Post # 6
LilSoph: PPs are correct that hosting your own engagement party is considered to be in poor taste. I also agree that, after four months, the engagement party ship has sailed.
Whatever you do, please keep in mind that anyone invited to any pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding. So, unless you are prepared to commit to at least part of your guest list now, it’s probably smart to skip the early parties.
Post # 7
We sent out engagement party invitations 4 monts after getting engaged, with the party being 6 weeks from then. Frankly, I wanted the party to be earlier, but we’re coordinating with out of town in-laws and then it was the holidays when many people were busy with family or other party committments. We still have another 14 months until the wedding.
Our engagement party is not being hosted by us, and did not include any mention of our website or registry information. We’re expecting no gifts, have encouraged people not to buy us anything, but some people have already managed to track down our registry anyway.
I agree with PP that you should send out invitations pretty immediately if you’re going to have one at all.
Post # 8
I agree with the above – go ahead and do it now. As for inviting family vs. friends, if FI really wants it to focus around family, could you have a smaller party and invite only a couple of your closest friends? You’ll have lots of opportunities to throw parties with friends, after all (bachelorette, shower, etc). Just a thought!
Post # 9
I got engaged in October and my engagement party is this weekend (March 15th) – it’s being thrown in my hometown and I have to travel for it, otherwise it would have been earlier.
I would say have it sooner rather than later. Also you can’t throw your own engagement party. A family friend is hosting mine.
It isn’t gift grabby because engagement parties are not traditionally gift giving occasions. Several people have called the hostess of my party asking if gifts are to be brought and she has told them no. It’s just a chance to celebrate and let everyone meet each other!
Post # 10
I agree with your FI, just family is a good idea. This is a nice occasion for the families to come together and get to know each other in a small gathering. More people would just make things more hectic and less intimate.
I also appreciate when the bride limits the number of events I have to attend. I expect to attend a friend’s shower and wedding, but add in an engagement party and a bachelorette and it’s too much for me.