Post # 1
Hello bees!! I’m recently engaged and somewhat new to the boards and have an etiquette question/ how to. My fiance and I are both from the same home town but both live 1,000+ miles from there. We are going home in a few weeks for our first trip home/ first opportunity to see any family since the engagement. I’m already worried about how we will try to see our grandmothers, aunts uncles etc. I suggested a small coffee and desert get together at my parents house with just the immediate family so that way we can see everyone and celebrate.
Has anyone else done something like this?? Did it work? Is it rude to keep it such a small list? We really don’t want an “engagement party” so we figure this is just a casual stop on by so we can see you while we’re in town….
Thanks so much!
Post # 3
When friends or family come in from out of town, it’s common good manners to hold a tea, reception (that is, a slightly larger tea where folk walk around and mingle instead of remaining seated on sofas) or salon (that is, a ‘reception’ that takes place in the evening) so that the in-town folk can get together and greet them. It works very well.
There is never anything rude about holding an intimate party. If someone else wants to host a larger party so that more of your friends and less immediate family can also greet you, they are welcome to invite you and plan it for a later date. If possible any time you are invited as guest of honour to a party you should make an effort to accept. But you are not obliged to accept if it creates a hardship, and you are certainly not obliged to step up to take on the role of hostess!
But make a mental note: when you are back home a thousand miles away in this mobile modern society of ours, if you are contacted by a friend who is passing through, do consider whether you might take your turn as hostess and invite a few mutual friends of theirs over with them as guest of honour. These are the kindnesses that folk do for out-of-towners, that keep social ties functioning.