Post # 1
Hey bees! One of my BMs recently got engaged and is getting married next year (and I am also one of her BMs). She is from South Jersey and her parents are throwing her and her FI an engagement party at the end of the month. Another of her BMs (lets call her BM2) also lives in Boston with me and we were discussing travel plans, and both decided it wasn’t really feasible to drive 6 hours for the party. BM was totally fine with that and said it would be awkward with so much family meeting for the first time anyway. So then BM2 asked me what type of gift we should send since we won’t be able to make it. Honestly, that didn’t even pop into my mind. I mean, normally, I wouldn’t send a gift for an engagement party I’m not attending, but I think maybe I should since I’m one of her BMs. So here’s where you come in! Should we send gifts for the party? If so, what type of gifts do people typically receive at engagement parties? I definitely don’t want to send money, and also don’t want to spend a fortune. I also don’t really want to send something typical, because isn’t buying kitchenware for the engagement party, then the shower, and then the wedding a little bit overkill? So what are your thoughts? Thanks!
Post # 3
I would just send them flowers with a sweet note or a bottle of wine. One of my FI’s aunts gave us a little money (like $20) but that was really it. Right after he proposed though, one of my bffs and bms gave me a little “wedding planner starter kit” she put together. It was a cute binder and three wedding magazines wrapped up in a big bow. I loved it! How about that idea?
Post # 4
I’ve only ever given cash for an engagement party.
Post # 5
Since you are friends with the Bride, you could get something just for her. My FMIL gave me a Waterford ring holder for an engagement gift and I use it every single day.
Post # 6
We didn’t register for our engagement party, and when asked, told people we just wanted their presence. We received gifts from about 1/3 of guests as a result, varying from Tiffany champagne glasses, candle holders from local (expensive) store to a bottle of wine or champagne. Because we told people not to worry about bringing gifts, we did not open presents at the party (we did not want to make anyone feel like they had to bring anything). A few people had already given a gift when they heard we had gotten engaged such as a bottle of champagne or a wedding planner.
I’d say a card or some flowers would be a nice thought. Just please…no bottles of champagne unless you know that they actually drink it! (We don’t.)
Post # 7
I don’t think you have to send a gift if you’re not attending but I like the idea of getting something specifically for the bride. The ring dish is a really cute idea.
No champagne or those glasses with e-rings painted all over them. I got so many of both.
Post # 8
@babylou: Ohh cute I really like that idea! However, she has actually been engaged since March and has gotten a lot of planning done over the summer. Maybe this could still work though!
@OhBeeHive84: I feel like I would normally give cash, but I would feel awkward/cheap sending like a $20 bill in the mail. I really don’t want to spend much more than that..
@KitKatNYC:Yeah I was wondering that as well, if it should be a present for the couple or just for the bride. I could definitely think of more things just for her rather than both of them. A ring holder is a cute idea, I sure would love one of those!
Post # 9
When I got engaged, one of my BMs (and my BF) gave me a gift bag with wedding magazines in it and a card, which was super nice and super helpful!
Beyond that, I just learned a week or so ago that we’re having an e-party in December courtesy of my mom. We don’t expect gifts, I’m thinking it’s going to be more a family party.
Post # 10
I told my guests not to bring any gifts, but a few did bring cards with some cash in it.
And yay for South Jersey! Gotta represent!