- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
A little bit of backstory:I moved out of my house with the help of my pastor when I was 17. Essentially what happened is that I live in a Christian Indian household, and one thing my family doesn’t want was for me to marry outside the circle of friends that they had. I ended up dating a guy from my high school, (half Canadian and half Chinese in ancestry) who is now my FI after 2 1/2 years of dating, and 6 years of knowing each other. After my parents found out that we had been dating for three months at that point, I endured a horrible night of physical abuse in which my dad gave me a concussion. Needless to say, three days later, with the help of my pastor, I moved out of my house and lived with my godmother for six months.
I now live on university residence with my FI, who also goes to the same school. My brother’s engagement party is coming up next month. I used to be a very social person, but after the past two years, I am completely the opposite. I am friendly and nice, and I work in retail so I encounter many people every day, but when it comes to intimate social outings/parties/etc., I don’t go to any. To be honest, I never really liked them much.
My family has since then met my FI and they really like him, especially my two older brothers. Usually they’re super protective but they really like my FI and they have no problems.
However, my parents are both telling me that even though my brother invited me AND FI, only I’m allowed to come to the engagement party because apparently the other Indian cousins/friends are going to gossip because I would be coming with my white/Chinese fiance. My mother especially doesn’t like this because she said “it would make me hang my head in shame”. Even though she likes my FI, and said race wasn’t an issue anymore, as soon as other people see my FI she said she’ll feel ashamed.
I asked my brother today if he would be upset if I didn’t go, and he said yes. To be honest, I don’t want to go because none of the cousins/friends knew I moved out of my house (parents covered it up), and if I’m there alone, I’ll feel very uncomfortable.
But if I don’t go, my whole family is going to be upset, and is going to blame FI for this, even though he’s been a complete dear throughout this whole dilemma. He hasn’t spoken to them about this because he knows my parents will get mad at him for even opening his mouth.
I just wanted to know the bees’ take on this situation, and advice on what I should do. Should I go? Should I not go?