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Engagement party - Should I register?

posted 1 year ago in Parties
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    Blushing bee
    blueroses    December 9, 2011   PA

    Next weekend my family is throwing FI and I an engagement party. It will be a get together for our families (who are about 2 hours away from each other) to get to know each other and also for the bridal party. We are not expecting gifts, and have asked those who have asked about gifts that "their presence is the present," but over the past week, I've received some snarky comments about not having registered yet. 

    It's a little late now to start a registry even if it's a small one, right? We haven't even thought about what we'd like to add to a registry yet - or where we will register.

     
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    Sugar bee
    Ms Hedgehog    July 10, 2011   Dallas/ Ft Worth TX

    I had never heard of e-parties until WB and honestly, I don't see why you WOULD register for gifts! And if you aren't expecting gifts then you shouldn't feel like you need to register.

     
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    Helper bee
    ILuvDance17    September 22, 2012   St. Louis

    FI and I had our engagement party last summer and I was shocked that people bought us gifts! The week before the party we had a few people ask us to register, so we put together a small list at Target. We were thinking maybe 2 or 3 people would get us something, but almost everybody showed up with a gift! We got some bath towels, kitchen gadgets, a big pan, some cookie sheets and a blender. I know there was more, but I don't remember what else. If people are asking about a registry, and you don't mind putting a small one together, why not do it? People who want to get you something will be thankful. Have fun at your party!

     
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    KatyElle      

    I have literally never heard of people registering for engagement parties! That's what the wedding reistry is for.

     
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    crayfish    September 11, 2010   Berkeley, CA

    I would be pretty put off if I was invited to an engagement party that had a registry associated with it.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Tonya2010    September 11, 2010  

    I have been to lots of engagement parties and I have never taken a gift. I would wait for your shower and wedding.

     
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    Helper bee
    MissDonnaAnne    August 26, 2012   Hamilton, NJ

    My FMIL insisted that we register for our engagement party.. but to balance it out I insisted that she not mention the registry on the invitation... and FI and I just made a small wishlist on target.com, not even under the name bridal registry that she could send people to if they asked, and honestly we got a few things off of it but mostly we got money. I was really shocked by all the gifts though.. it seemed like a lot to me. 

     
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    Helper bee
    ILuvDance17    September 22, 2012   St. Louis

    @MissDonnaAnne: That's what we did. FI and I didn't mention a list, but I know people asked my parents about it. If we didn't get people asking us to put one together, it wouldn't have crossed our minds...we just wanted to party!

     
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    Blushing bee
    DisneyBride2Bee    November 2012   NJ

    We didn't register. People asked my parents and they said we had not registered. They brought gifts anyway. We got gift cards, lots of picture frames, and lots of wine. The registry is (IMO) more for the bridal shower.

     
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    Bumble bee
    FutureMrsMcDermott    February 2016  

    We're not registering and don't expect gifts. We aren't an "established" couple, we don't have any joint belongings and nothing to start a new home (like...not even forks!!!). I'm pretty sure that since both of our families know this they will bring some small starter gifts to the e-party. We don't expect it though.

     
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    Blushing bee
    blueroses    December 9, 2011   PA

    thanks for your input ladies! i think i'll wait it out until after the party. we ARE an established couple, so I think we're going to need some time to figure out what we actually do need. :)

     
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    Busy bee
    mshoagie    October 7, 2011   PA

     I've only been to one engagement party where the couple registered.  And to be honest, no one liked that (well, we didn't like the bride-to-be so maybe that influenced us).  In the past we've brought a gift certificate for a night out, a bottle of nice wine, and a yard flag with the couples initial.  Just something small to say congrats!  A a heads up, when you do receive gifts do not open them in front of everyone.  The bride to be that registered made her engagement party into a shower and it rubbed everyone the wrong way. 

     

     
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    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    We registered before our e party and I'm so glad we did. We got SO much off the registry, it was awesome!

     
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    Blushing bee
    MissTillie    June 22, 2013   Asbury Park, NJ

    We started our registry this past week but our e-party isn't until August. I didn't want to do it so soon but we've had family members asking us where we're registered ever since we announced our engagement in April. It's pretty weird-- were they expecting us to register before we were even engaged? I've told everyone that gifts aren't expected but some people are going to bring gifts no matter what. They might as well be things we actually want. 

     
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    Helper bee
    chexmixDC    November 6, 2010   Washington, DC

    I just attended an engagement party last weekend and I was glad they were registered. We've always gotten gifts for people's engagement parties, and since this one was for a friend of my DH it was nice to have a registry to shop from, since DH is clueless about what to buy for people.

    I'd say go ahead and register, but only give out the info to people who specifically ask, that way it doesn't look like your seeking gifts, but it's available to people who want to use it.

     
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    Bumble bee
    AB Bride    June 25, 2011   Canada

    It seems like in the States things are headed towards every event being a gift-giving occasion.  I hope it doesn't spread to up here!

    Here, engagement parties aren't really popular yet.  If there is one, it tends to be just with close family or if it's bigger it's a celebration going out to dinner or out for dinner or drinks.

    I think it's too early to *have* to register, but you could always start one up.  If I was going to a party where wedding-type gifts were expected, I would want to give something like toasting flutes, a cake serving set, or something monogramed  but I would really prefer a party where if gifts were expected it would be something like a bottle of wine.

     
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    Helper bee
    confettiegg2000    June 16, 2012   San Marcos/Austin, Texas - wedding in Blanco

    At my engagement party (2 months after proposal, 21 months before wedding), we definitely didn't expect gifts - it never crossed our minds at all, nobody asked if we were registered, etc... then, most people showed up with gifts! We received a cookbook, a board game, wedding planning organizational stuff (from my sister/MOH), lots of little odds and ends, and even a really nice pasta maker. My future in-laws also gave me a really nice necklace. Had we known we would be receiving gifts, we probably would have registered, but it was a nice surprise!

     

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