Weddingbee boards

Hi Bees!

I got engaged not too long ago but I have been reading the wedding bee since my friend got married a few years ago.

Anyways so I have engagement party coming up.  My mother is kind of pushy and she really wanted an engagement party.  We thought okay, it would be where our families would get to meet and our wedding party will get to meet.

My mother busts out a list of 40 people she wants to invite... granted half of that are actually family members but 20+ people are just her friends... at first I was upset because why are you paying them when they will probably be invited to the wedding anyways... but my mother won because she's paying for the engagement party.

We got a good deal at the place the FI and I wanted to have it for 60 people (her list failed to include me, my FI, his parents or our bridal party which added up to about 15 more people on top of her 40).

So we had 5 more spots to fill, the way it works is that you're going to have to pay for 60 people no matter what because it's a buffet lunch and that's what you paid for so if there is empty seats oh well.

So we started inviting people... and I didn't know what a mess that would be, because when you invite one person... you have to invite all the people that know them or you're playing favorites...

Now from my spreadsheet we have 66 people (it's a buffet and they are only providing enough food for 60).  12 of these people are childern under 10 but still they eat too (3 of these are babies).

I'm a little worried we won't have enough food... but we are bring a cake (the place is going to cut and provide plates for free).

So my question is, do you think I'm okay because some people aren't going to come right and the small childern aren't going to eat *that* much?

If I'm not okay what should I do?

You will be fine. When you do a buffet the venue always provides more food per head than what each person will likely eat. Some people have healthier appetites and some don't each much in general so it will likely work out. Make it known there will be cake or have it out for people to see and there are some that will make sure to leave room for dessert therefore keeping their take of the buffet minimal. And as you said - probably not everyone will be able to make it.

Hey everyone I just noticed people replied to this!  The day I posted... No one replied when I checked on, and so I thought most people thought it was not a big deal.

I checked with the place, and they are providing food with unlimited plates, so if we run out of food we run out of food since they are only providing food for 60.

We got a huge cake.  A full sheet cake that's suppose to feed 80 people (half sheet was for 40 (not enough!) and the next size up woth the full sheet).

Right now I have only gotten confirmations!  No one has yet to decline.

I think I'm okay, my mother is seriously not worried at all, she is super easying going about this... she said if she needs to spend more money she will.  I don't know I'm sort of a frugel person so spending more money doesn't sound good to me even if it's not my money!  I just feel bad for mom... if that makes any sense.

Also to one person's question.  Yes we are inviting my mother's friends to my wedding.  I call them her friends... which they are... but they really see me as another daughter, they are all super nice and excited to see me marry especially b/c they love my mother so much and I'm her only daughter (I have one older brother but he's not even dating someone!).  My mother is helping pay for the reception because of this.  My mother is really close to these people and so it's understandable that she wants them at an important day for her... it is an important day for her, much as it is for me and my FH and I understand that.

I'm really worried that my mother won't stay in budget but she has told me many times that it's not like my brother is going to get married anytime soon, they have money and they want to make sure that this wedding goes smoothly.  What ever I need she will try to help out.  I just want to be considerate... it is just one day... no need to break the bank over it... is my thoughts.  ^_^

Thank you so much everyone for the wonderful encouragement... I am trying my best not to be stressed out about this... because I'm sure that everything will work out!

Hi Bees again.  ^_^

Engagement party over and done with.

I thought it would be fun to say what happened.

So the day of.. we picked up FI's parents from the hotel and make way for my make up session at a mall make up counter.  It was suppose to take 20 minutes... took almost an hour!  Yikes!

Then we went to get the cake... we have 65 guests and the bakery told us that a half sheet only feeds 40 so we needed a full sheet.  That was huge!  Also normally sheet cakes are 2 layers... this one was 3!

At this point... we are a little late and we have a huge cake... and on top of that.. it's like 90 degrees last weekend in Northern Cali... I was a little stressed out.

We got to the party a little late... no one was there!  Check the time... 1:30... finally a few people started showing up.... and then at 2 pm most people showed up... around 2:30 everyone was there.

Since it was a buffet, it was grab what you can but once something was gone it was gone b/c we just paid for 65 people to eat.  My aunt took 2 plates full of lumpia... I was so mad at her because that's for guest not for her to hog and take home for later.  I mean if it was left over sure take it home but don't hog things that other people might want to eat.  So annoying!

So about 3:00 people wanted cake... we were asked like 10 times in a 2 minute span by different people about the cake... okay... we asked a server to bring out the cake.

At the time the cake was coming up and we were setting up the plates and forks and stuff... FI's mother decided to ask a million and one questions about people, and stuff at the party... Hello couldn't you have done that earlier?  *rolls eyes*  So I tried to answer but after a bit I yelled at FI and asked him why it was important to know that infromation RIGHT NOW.  FI was taken back and told his mother that she needs to stop her questions.

After that, it seem to go easily.

Everyone helped eat the cake... seriously that thing was huge. But it was all gone by the end of the party.  There was a LOT of left over food (except lumpia) so people took that home too.  We had 2 empty seats... thanks goodness we stayed inside the allowed number of people we could have.

I was really stressed out around the cake coming out... I felt bad for yelling at FI and said sorry but he said he understood and also didn't understand why his mother was asking such random questions at that certain time.  I'm really baffeled why I was so stressed out...

It kind of scared because this was almost like a mini wedding.... I wonder how stressed out I will be for the real thing.