(Closed) engagement party thank you notes….bridal parties gf?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Usually, you don’t thank people for simply attending an event as it appears gift grabby to remind them that they came and that’s it and you already thanked them by hosting them at the party, but if you want to thank people for attending, you should thank everyone, so that includes the gf. However, since I assume they don’t live together, you should send her her own thank you note to her home address.

Post # 5
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

According to etiquette, no, you don’t. You thanked them by hosting them at the event (providing food, drink, entertainment, etc.), so additional thanks are for additional things beyond their presence, like gifts. Honestly, though, especially since you’re probably talking about young people here, I doubt you would offend by sending a thank you, so feel free to send one if you like, but again, be consistent with your practice. If you thank this groomsman for coming, you should send a thank you to every person who just came, including his gf.

Post # 7
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Uhhh I’ve never heard about the above rule. Send them a thank you for celebrating your new engagement with you. It’s not rude.

Post # 8
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I must agree with @mrsSonthebeach:  that there is no need to send a thank you note to someone who attended the event.  Thank you notes would be used to thank guests for bringing gifts but not simply for attending.

Post # 9
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

@smcs28:  I think it’s a lovely idea to send a thank you even if someone didn’t give you a gift. Emily Post says to send a thank you card if “someone does kindness for you.” I don’t know, I always think it’s kind of people to come spend time celebrating me. I would NEVER think someone was being “gift grabby” by sending a thank you card unless they were blatantly snarky.

Post # 10
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@smcs28:  Since you aren’t yet married, etiquette-wise, that your parents hosted and not you is irrelevent, but again, I really don’t think it’s a big deal. If you want to send the thank you, do it.

Post # 11
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I ran into the same problem at my engagement party. I’d just address it and send it to him and note in your card that you were thankful for her celebrating with you. Unless you know her personally, which it does not sound like you do

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