Engagement Party? Yes or No?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

When I got engaged, I didn’t have much of an opinion. It seemed like something I’d probably not do, or if I did, it would be going out with a few friends. But, my mom and dad ended up throwing a surprise engagement party for us when we were in town for a wedding. I have to say that the party really was awesome and made it feel more ‘real.’ I’d say, if your friend is offering, go for it! You’re doing a long engagment so you can enjoy the process, right? Enjoy it! 

We invited some family and friends that lived nearby. It was a mish-mash, and totally fun! It was a taste of how fun our wedding is going to be! 😉 Ours was about 6 weeks after our engagment. I don’t think it is weird to wait longer though. 

Post # 4
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I didn’t, people offered but I felt another party was too much.  People are all ready going to be coming to a bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner, and our wedding that I thought another event was excessive.  I also didn’t want to make people feel obligated to spend more money on us.

Post # 5
3643 posts
Sugar bee

@Lbward6:  Ditto for us. Plus almost all of his family lives 4.5 hours away, so we didn’t want to burden them with another trip.


Post # 6
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BWLE:  I think it’s nice to celebrate! And it’s really sweet that your friend is offering- no one threw a party for us, and so I did it as a hybrid event celebrating that it was officially 1 year until our wedding/engagement celebration. I didn’t want gifts or anything but I just wanted to feel like some people around me were excited (my family is too dysfunctional to be excited). 

Post # 7
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We had a really low key backyard BBQ at my parents’ house.  I was on the fence about having one at all, but my mom insisted since it would be a nice way for his extended family to meet my extended family.  This way they will know some familiar faces at the wedding and wouldn’t all be meeting each other for the first time.  It turned out to be really fun.  I specifically requested no gifts so my mom added “No gifts other than your presence required” to the invitation. 

Post # 8
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

We didn’t have one.  I think if our parents were local they might have insisted on throwing one, but they are in OH and AZ, and none of our friends offered to host one.  But we also would have declined.  I’ve only been to two engagement parties and I’ve been to about 15 weddings in the past two years.  So not sure if most people have them or not. 

Post # 9
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We had one.

We requested no gifts, but if someone wanted to get us something, a Christmas ornament to remind us of them would be appreciated (It was right after Christmas). 

We also used it as a chance to try out our DJ. 

I really enjoyed it.  I had a blast!

Post # 10
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

If your friend wants to throw it, I’d go ahead and let her!

And I don’t think waiting until March or April sounds bad, either. Ours was the night we got engaged (surprise to me!), but I’ve seen them held much later.

Post # 11
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We didn’t have one, they’re not common in our circle.  If someone had offered we would have attended, but we wouldn’t have thrown one ourself or host in any way.

Post # 12
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Given your timeline, I think an engagement party sounds great.  And I don’t think waiting a few months is a problem since your wedding is not until next year.


Post # 13
4646 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My bestfriend is getting married this fall and tomorrow she is having an “engagement party” where we all get to celebrate and will also be the time they ask their bridal party! It’s just going to be the 8 groomsmen and 8 bridesmaids plus some of their SO’s and it’s going to be small cookout/bonfire in her backyard! As a guest, I am excited to get to celebrate with them another time! But I can also understand how it can be stressful for the bride.

Post # 14
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My sisters and friend put together a surprise party for us 🙂 it was fun and our close friends/immediate family was there. It was casual with drinks and appetizers. It was around a year and 4 months ahead (we have kind of a longish engagement).

It isn’t necessary, but if she is offering, why not? It would be fun! I would just invite people that you know you are inviting to the wedding.

Post # 15
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@BWLE:  Neither one of us wanted or felt the need for an engagement party.  However; my mom loves being the center of attention and loves throwing parties.  She asked me for a few weeks and I told her that while I appreciated the offer, we didn’t need one.  Unfortunately, with my mom you have two options: just give in and let her do what she wants or she’ll “surprise” you with what she wants.  So finally FI and I just decided to let her do it because we would rather know about it than go to visit and find out she planned to surprise us.  It worked out, my FMIL, a few of FI’s bff’s, and his aunt and uncle came so they all got to meet my family.  Did i need it? No?  Would I have chosen to have one? No. But with my mom its all about choosing your battles…and it was nice to see all of my family and friends and my mom does through good parties, so i guess it worked out. And most importantly, she was happy and it kept her busy and out of my hair lol. sad i know 🙁 but still true.

Post # 16
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We had one, and it was so much fun!  We got engaged June 2013 and aren’t getting married until August 2015, so we wanted to get everyone together and celebrate because the wedding is so far off.  Even though the Bee will tell you not to write anything about gifts on the invitation, I included “Your presence is the only present required!” and had my parents (they technically hosted) ensure that people knew not to bring gifts.  It worked really well (we ended up with some cards and gift cards, but nothing major), and everyone had a great time!  Also, our wedding will be vegan so it was a great chance to show people that vegan food can be good!

I think having your party in March or April sounds perfect.

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