(Closed) Engagement party/wedding shower question??

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Generally it’s not okay to invite people to pre-wedding events that aren’t invited to the wedding.  It’s kind of rude.

Post # 4
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, it’s poor form to invite people that aren’t invited to the wedding.

Post # 6
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I still wouldn’t do it.  I don’t get offended by much at all, but I would be offended if I was invited to an engagement party but not the wedding.  I think it’s just hurtful.

I do understand where you’re coming from in wanting to celebrate with everyone you’re friends with even though you are having a smaller wedding – but I still think people’s feelings will be hurt.

It would be one thing if you were getting married justice of the peace style with literally like 4 family members there – but a wedding with 125 guests isn’t teeny tiny, so it will just feel exclusionary to the people you aren’t inviting to the actual event.

ETA: You said in your first post that your Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing an engagement party/wedding shower at her home – but in your second post, you said you don’t expect gifts.  Guests will bring gifts to a shower.  That’s what a shower is.

Post # 8
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I also think it’s a bad idea, not because of the engagement party but because it’s a shower too. But I think sending wedding annoucements, and perhaps hosting a low key bbq for all the people you couldn’t invite after the wedding is a good idea.

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