(Closed) Engagement photo fail

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel you on the mirror thing.  I think I look okay and then I see a picture and nope, I’m huge!

Post # 4
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Could you post a few?

I posted a similar thread (not that the photog lost them, but that I was disappointed) and every Bee on here called me crazy. We are all so over critical of ourselves, I’m sure it’s not nearly as bad as you are making yourself feel!! If it would make you feel better to continue towards your weight loss goal and take them later, then by all means do it. However, your Fiance loves you the way you are already!

Post # 5
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think we are our worst critics.  Have you shown anyone else your pictures?  Someone close to you that would be completely honest with you?

Were the pictures you were shown edited/photoshopped yet?   Do you feel like the photographer put you in poses that made you look heavier than usual?  What was wrong with your hair and makeup?  Did your makeup look washed out?

I know that you probably don’t want to share, but I would be happy to take a look and give you an unbiased opinion.

ETA: You can always PM me a link to the pictures, if you don’t want them posted all over online.

Chin up, girl.  I’m sure they aren’t as bad as you think they are.

Post # 6
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I am not really crazy about our e-photos.  The photographer is amazing we (especially DH) just aren’t being ourselves in them or something.  The thing is, I don’t really need them for anything in particular, so I am jsut looking at it as “practice” for the wedding day.  I am hoping that on that day, we will be legitimately happy and all these great things will be happening around us, so hopefully it will be a bit more organic and natural.

Can we see a few?  I am SURE that you are being overly hard on yourself.  I know that others didn’t notice the things I did in our pics at all.

Post # 7
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Ummm wow. First, I would be terrified. What if those had been photos from your wedding? You don’t get a do-over on that! More than anything else, I’d be following up with the photographer to find out what caused the problem and what he/she will do to ensure that it never happens again.

As to the photos themselves, the main photographer was likely in the position for the most flattering shots, so you aren’t necessarily seeing the best photos that you should have seen. And we really are our own worst critics. Take a week or two without looking at your photos or any engagement shoots on the web. Then go back and give your photos another chance. Maybe you just need to shift your own perspective in order to appreciate them.

Post # 8
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KristenGotMarried:  Oh, I’m sorry to hear that dear!  I’d say take a step back from the pics for a bit, then approach them with a more critical, detached eye to see how they can make them better this time around.  Maybe note angles that don’t seem to work for you, or poses that come out looking forced or awkward.  Have a frank discussion with the photog about this before your re-do, maybe without your Fiance if that would make you more comfortable.  I understand your disappointment, but don’t skip the re-do – If I were you, it’d be an important test to see if they are up to snuff for my wedding.  I’m also bigger than I want to be right now, but from the pics I’ve seen from our engagement shoot this weekend, our photographer was conscious of angles and what is flattering.  If after the discussion and re-do you are still seeing the same problems, you might want to reconsider. 

Also, congrats on the 9lbs – that is awesome!

Post # 9
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m really sorry you feel this way, and I absolutely agree with the PPs who said we are our own worst critics. I picked apart our photos endlessly when we got them, thinking my arms looked chubby, my nose is too big, my hair was too frizzy. When our friends and family saw them, though, they all gushed over them. No one will ever see you as critically as you see yourself, nor will any ever be as hard on you as you are on yourself.

FWIW, I’ve seen pictures of you in your dress on dress threads and I think you look great! It’s so hard not to to pick apart every little thing. We all have insecurities and there’s a lot of pressure in paying a lot of money for professional photos, so it tends to bring them to light.

It sounds like you’re being very hard on yourself, and like a PP said–your Fiance of course loves you the way you are. You still have awhile until your wedding, so you can always postpone the photos if that would make you feel more comfortable.

Post # 10
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh God yes, I sure did.  Our photogs let us look at the pics on their camera throughout the day of shooting.  Some angles were just awful! Actually, we have to wait 4 months for them… we should be getting them in another month.  My dress for the formal pictures that I tried on at home and showed my Fiance and Mom looked beautiful at home.  I know I’m not a size 2/4/6/8, but the pictures especially in the evening with that dress on were AWFUL.  Makes me want to cry, I don’t even want them back.  I wore a shiny material dress and it looked like I was preggo.  I don’t understand because I tried the dress on at home again and it didn’t look like the pics did.  I’m still so upset, I don’t even want to think about it 🙁

I also had a hard time trying to chill the f out during the shoot, it was hard.

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for you, because I feel like I’m crying a river right next to you.  The weird thing is my Fiance thinks I looked beautiful… I’m trying to focus on that lol

I’m on my weight loss journey, not just for the wedding or photos – for good health.  Lost a good amount already, about 25-35 more to go.

Post # 11
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Hey hon!  If I were you, I’d wait and have them done in a few months if you have the time.  We’re not getting our e-pics done because I feel like a massive cow (I’m as heavy as I’ve ever been right now) and our wedding isn’t until June.  We spoke to our photographer this past weekend and we’re going to do them in April – that should be enough time to get rid of those pesky 20lbs that have piled on this past year.  I say wait if you aren’t feeling confident right now.  Also, definitely make sure the corrupted file thing never happens again and she has backup on hand and possibly a way to check the files throughout the night – how scary!

Post # 12
1405 posts
Bumble bee

Is it the phototgraphy you hate or the way you look?   It’s hard for anyone here to judge the photography without seeing the pictures.  A photographer should try and pose you to look your best though.  The fact that this photographer is using SD cards leads me to believe they are amateurs using amateur equipment.  Pro cameras use CF media

Post # 14
1429 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am so sorry hun. I say retake them when you lose some weight and maybe get another photographer if you can.

I am terrified now. We just took ours yesterday and I felt great walking out the door too. I also loved our photographers. I think the wait to see the pics is gonna kill me!

Post # 15
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@KristenGotMarried: I’m so sorry to hear you feel this way.  I agree that you should re-schedule your pictures for the Spring if that’s what makes you feel comfortable.

I totally understand where you’re coming from when you leave the house feeling great and then a total blow looking at pictures or another mirror!  I am like you.  I know I’m not a slim/skinny girl, but I have my really good days or at least I think.  This is why I’m avoiding engagement photos to be honest.

Post # 16
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@KristenGotMarried: Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! You took the words right out of my mouth. I had my epics 2 weeks ago too and I got mine back thursday. I was shocked….I couldn’t believe how large I looked either. I must of had some blinders on. The outfits I picked I thought took 10 lbs off…appearently not. I can’t decide if I just hate how I look or the pictures all together. I feel like every single pic is full body. No up close facial shots. We seem to be in the same poses too. No variety.

If I see my rolls one more time I will cry. I already did a few times. I took two days off and didn’t look at them at all to calm down. Today, I’ve been fooling around with some on pictage, cropping my body out, and some look ok… It’s just so upsetting. If I look ok in one, my fiance has a weird face…and vice versa.

What kills me is my photographer said when we booked her that she takes a long time to edit, etc so it might take awhile to get our photos. Well, we got our stuff back in 11 days…I thought that was fast. That doesn’t bother me as much as it does to see that like 5 other sessions were posted within an hour or two of mine on Facebook. Ours was the last. I feel like nothing was editted and she just wanted to get it all over with.

I think I will try to loose weight too because I think that is one of my major problems. I used to be thin and I think I just have too many insecurities that I won’t like anything until I fix that. Speaking of that. I’m gonna get off and start working out before I make another excuse. I think you should do the reshoot but do it when you feel comfortable doing it. Congrats on the 9lbs and hopefully there will be more to come!


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