Post # 1
Ok, I’ve stumbled across a few of the threads here and I figured what better place to come asking for a girls advice than here.
My girlfriend and I have been dating seriously for months now. We are taking a family vacation this week and her birthday falls during it. It’s not the reason for the trip, but just coincidence. Her mother will be watching her boys so we can have the evening to ourselves which I have planned a fun evening with dinner and a show (cirque d.s her favorite) and then I am planning on taking her to the local park which has amazing reviews. The weather is forcasted to be perfect to our likings, the moon will be close to being full and it looks like the skies will be clear. We have been talking about marriage for a few months now, I am ready to propose to her and would love to take this romantic night and turn it into something so much more. I have plans for her birthday and she will be getting a gift from me as well, but outside of this would it be unacceptable to propose on her birthday? Obviously I don’t want to take away from this day but I feel like I can add icing to the cake from our night of amazing time together. What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
I think that’s fine. 🙂 It’s not like the actual wedding has to be on her birthday.
It sounds lovely.
Post # 4
It sounds like a great idea – and you came to the right place to ask. Bees – anything he can do to make it extra special?
Post # 5
That makes me feel really good! Thanks!
Now it’s down to the ring. She has been talking about moissanite and we both have looked at them. This is the only area that I’m really scared in, we both are previously married and she loves the ring that her ex gave her. I found something of similarity, but different enough to make it about us. I was initially looking and agreeing with the moissanite idea, but we both are successful individuals with great careers. The only reason she mentioned moissanite was to get more for less. I’m not being shallow when I say that I want her to have real diamonds, but that’s just what I have my heart set on now. Is this wrong of me? The setting that I’m looking at is right at 2.6ct but the center “solitair” is a princess quad and then there are rounds on the side. We have not even discussed quads but I want to surprise her and I know that the quads can be replaced with a single as I have already talked to the jeweler about it. The biggest thing that is important to her is size it seems. Her previous was 1ct center and this setting is sized close to a 2ct center. Thoughts on this? I can post a picture of both if wanted/needed.
Post # 7
@tlookingforhelp: if you’ve talked about marriage already, you can probably casually bring it up again and find out exactly what she wants. I told my FI what I wanted (i didn’t specify/care about the size because i didn’t know his exact budget) and it was no less romantic when he proposed with exactly what i had asked for. 🙂
It sounds like from what you said that she wants the center princess cut to be a solitaire, so maybe if what you can afford right now is the moissanite and she said she prefers that anyway, go ahead and do the center in moissy instead of the quad. You can still do the side stones in diamond. up to you, obviously.
Post # 8
Hey Congrats ! cant wait to hear your story 🙂
If your GF is big on size , and if you can afford to get her something bigger then i say go for it ( but only if you can afford it) …
if you show us the ring she had before that would help lots … idk about the quads b/c its not really my taste , but from what you said if you guys havent spoken about quads then i prob wouldn’t look at those
Go with your gut maybe another 1ct certer stone with a slightly different setting to make it your own , or a plain solitaire maybe 1 carat or more then let her choose the setting with you that way she gets exactly what she wants ( your happy and shes happy)
Post # 9
First being her previous ring. Excuse the dirty fingers, I worked on my dirt bike all weekend 😉
Second being the one I was looking at purchasing,and the next two being some other ones that she liked. There was another one that I didn’t get a picture of that resembled the one I’ve been looking at.
The first picture of the one she likes (3rd picture total) is almost identical to her previous ring. It’s not my ring and I’m not wearing it, but I don’t want to purchase her another ring that closesly resembles her old one. I’m trying not to be selfish/childish on this matter but she seems to be on agree/accept the idea. Ultimately, I’ll buy her whatever she wants and it will be the ring that symbolizes us in the end. Does it make sense for me to want her to have a different style though?
Post # 10
I think the one you picked out is great! It certainly reflects her style and tastes if you compare it to other rings she likes, yet it is also alot different than her first ring. Her first ring has alot of metal on it, and the one you are considering has more diamonds. I think it is reasonable that you don’t want the ring you get her to be too similar to her previous ring! That isn’t selfish at all!
It sounds like you have put alot of thought into this proposal and it sounds wonderful. Good luck!
Post # 11
@tlookingforhelp: First, congrats!
Second, I wanted to warn you that if you look through these threads about quads or clusters, you’ll find that some women feel very strongly one way or another about them. Personally, I simply do not like quads or cluster rings and of course, would accept the ring, but would then secretly hate it too and then get flamed on WeddingBee when I rant about how I don’t like it at all. In fact, I would prefer a smaller single stone to a quad. I think you’ll have to gauge your girlfriend to see if she would like a quad before purchasing it. Like I said, some women love them, others hate them. To each her own.
By the way, I would love a birthday engagement but you should get her something other than the ring for her birthday too (I guess that sounds a bit gift grabby?). I feel like engagements are so much more than a birthday or Christmas gift but can be given on these days as long as it’s not the only gift.
Anyway, I wish you the best!
Post # 12
Thanks for the help and advice. I did some research on the quads and I see it is split down the middle. She is the furthest thing from shallow, but I still want to make sure it’s what she wants! She wanted moissanite simply for the idea of it’s cheaper. We just put braces in my mouth to fix a small gap, this is costing us 5k. Why should she get something less than that to last the rest of her life when I can afford more. The quad setting and wedding band is total at 4.05ct tw and the center measures what would be equivalent in a single diamond weight of a little more than 2ct. One of the main problems that I’m finding is that finding a ring with a center stone of more than 1ct isn’t exactly easy, especially one that isn’t round. Moissanite offers a lot of them, but most real seem to cap out at 1ct. I found a 1.5 loose stone at the jeweler in town for a whopping 10.3k alone with a blemish that I thought was unacceptable for the price even though it was certified.
As far as another gift, she has that and by no means will the proposal be the gift of her birthday. In matter of fact, I hope that she is so happy about the other things that she would be blindsided by the simple fact of me proposing.
Post # 13
@tlookingforhelp: I am only in some ways shallow. I am just stating that I, personally, simply do not like quads. They are not my style. Like I said, to each her own.
I personally would have loved to have been blindsided by a proposal too.
Post # 14
I would stay away from quads unless you know she would like one…can you somehow casually ask?
1. I love that you came to the ‘bee for advice. You should show this to her after the fact! You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into this. 🙂
2. I like the idea of a birthday proposal. For me I wouldn’t need a second gift but I like the idea of it. If my FI had proposed on my birthday I would have peed my pants in excitement. I thought he was going to and I think he had the ring with him but proposed the following month.
Good luck and best wishes! AND REPORT BACK! 🙂
Post # 15
@tlookingforhelp: i would ask the jeweler to take out the ‘quad’ and buy it that way (saving a bunch of $) and then put a moissanite in as the center stone. best of both worlds, and you can always change the center stone to a diamond later if you choose.
Post # 16
I really don’t know of a casual way of asking. That’s one thing that kinda has me scared about the purchase. I personally think of her when I see it because it meets the “big, pops out, sparkles, not round” requirements and it just reminds me of her, but the unsurity of it being quad gets me. The jeweler wants me to go ahead and buy the ring and present her with it and “we can always bring it back” if that’s a fall back then it’s nice, but at the end of the day I want her to love it and it be the right ring on the first go. I wouldn’t be upset if she asked for something different except for feeling like I didn’t make it the special selection.