Post # 1
My boyfriend and I were supposed to go away today/tomorrow to get engaged. His grandma passed away yesterday and the funeral is on Tuesday. I am from out of town, so I sent flowers and will be going to the visitation and funeral. We are postponing until next weekend. Is it insensitive to get engaged after something like that happens? She was 90, but my bf was really close to his grandma and I feel really bad for him 🙁 I don’t want him having to think about me when he hasn’t yet had a chance to grieve…..
Post # 3
First off I am sorry to hear this but she is in heaven now. I would let your soon to be Fiance know that you understand if he needs some time given what has happened and you understand but look forward to the happy moment! I think friends/family will not be offended if you get engaged in the next few weeks, their probably expecting it sometime anyways. Good Luck!
Post # 4
It’s not insensitive to get engaged right afterwards, but I think it’s nice to give him as much time as he wants and not put a date on it. If he’s anything like me, losing his grandmother probably made him even more determined to marry you.
I think common sense will tell you how much support to give him and when you need to calm down and let him grieve and when it’s acceptable to suggest going away. If he’s 100% okay with the idea of going next week, go for it! Marriage is a celebration of life, and it’s one that his grandmother would want for him to have. Going forward with it is a life-affirming movement.
Post # 5
Sorry for your b/f’s loss.
I think you are doing the right thing by putting it off this weekend.
If you two decide to go forward with your plans in a week or two, that is perfectly acceptable IMO. I agree with what HappierKate said.
Post # 6
I would definitely wait a week or two until things have settled down. See where your fiance is emotionally before moving forward. He might feel pressured to propose to you because he thinks it’s what YOU want, when his heart might not be in it due to his recent loss. I would never want my boyfriend to propose to me because he felt pressured or obligated. It needs to come from the heart. On the other hand, he might want something happy to change the mood and I’m sure his grandmother would have loved to see you engaged and married. It really depends on him and where he is in the grieving process. But I am sorry for your loss and I hope happier times are headed your way. I know his grandmother will be watching over you two!
Post # 7
i agree w the other ladies, i dont think its insensitive.
Post # 8
No, I don’t thnk it’s insensitive, in fact, it’ll give the family a happy feeling
Post # 9
Well…. Here’s the update….
Originally my boyfriend wanted to do it this weekend….. Then apparently, when I expressed how I felt (trying to be sensitive to the situation), I made him change his mind! He cancelled everything and wanted to reschedule, but I couldn’t due to a tight schedule next weekend. We talked on the phone for almost 2 hours last night, and it ended up all just being a misunderstanding. He said he wouldn’t have changed his mind if I hadn’t brought it up (argh!), but he wanted to make me happy. Then he told me he still really wants to do it this weekend if I was ok with it. So on the phone he rebooked the whole thing for tomorrow… We are like two peas in a pod….. We ended up laughing about it in the end….. Wish me luck!
Post # 10
Good luck! As PPs mentioned losing a loved one makes you realised the importance of family. I’m sure the whole family will be supporting you both in your decision.