(Closed) Engagement Postponed: Should I feel guilty?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
56 posts
Worker bee

First off I am sorry to hear this but she is in heaven now. I would let your soon to be Fiance know that you understand if he needs some time given what has happened and you understand but look forward to the happy moment! I think friends/family will not be offended if you get engaged in the next few weeks, their probably expecting it sometime anyways. Good Luck!

Post # 4
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s not insensitive to get engaged right afterwards, but I think it’s nice to give him as much time as he wants and not put a date on it.  If he’s anything like me, losing his grandmother probably made him even more determined to marry you.

I think common sense will tell you how much support to give him and when you need to calm down and let him grieve and when it’s acceptable to suggest going away.  If he’s 100% okay with the idea of going next week, go for it!  Marriage is a celebration of life, and it’s one that his grandmother would want for him to have.  Going forward with it is a life-affirming movement.

Post # 5
2414 posts
Buzzing bee

Sorry for your b/f’s loss.



I think you are doing the right thing by putting it off this weekend.

If you two decide to go forward with your plans in a week or two, that is perfectly acceptable IMO. I agree with what HappierKate said.

Post # 6
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would definitely wait a week or two until things have settled down. See where your fiance is emotionally before moving forward. He might feel pressured to propose to you because he thinks it’s what YOU want, when his heart might not be in it due to his recent loss. I would never want my boyfriend to propose to me because he felt pressured or obligated. It needs to come from the heart. On the other hand, he might want something happy to change the mood and I’m sure his grandmother would have loved to see you engaged and married. It really depends on him and where he is in the grieving process. But I am sorry for your loss and I hope happier times are headed your way. I know his grandmother will be watching over you two!

Post # 7
1133 posts
Bumble bee

i agree w the other ladies, i dont think its insensitive.

Post # 8
812 posts
Busy bee

No, I don’t thnk it’s insensitive, in fact, it’ll give the family a happy feeling

Post # 10
124 posts
Blushing bee

Good luck! As PPs mentioned losing a loved one makes you realised the importance of family. I’m sure the whole family will be supporting you both in your decision.

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