Engagement Ring Advice

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cowgirl09:  you have to come to him with a different approach in conversation. There should be a reasonable way to talk to him about this. 

 

Hey 5 years will be coming up! Maybe a hint towards a romantic 5 year anniversary. Maybe you can bring up the idea and say hey for our anniversary lets do something special. Tell him you want a proper redo on the proposal. You can even have a vow renewables you like!!! 

Post # 5
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

as in he got the one you picked? im sure he wanted one hes sure you would love 🙂

at the end of the day you have a gorgeous ring on your finger either way 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@cowgirl09:  I understand that it’s a once in a lifetime thing; as a waiting bee, I’m certainly stressed about the way it will happen. I think most women know how they’d like to be proposed to, but very few actually get their “fairytale.” I’m sorry you don’t feel he put much thought into the ring or the proposal. While a proposal is just notch in the belt of a relationship, it’s one of the stories that is most frequently heard by friends and family, and should (to some extent) represent the relationship and the way you feel about one another. I’m sure not feeling that happened for you is disappointing.

If the conversation turns into an argument, your husband may be feeling unappreciated (which is how you felt about the engagement). I might caution against bringing it up again. Ultimately, you cannot go back in time and re-do the proposal and I think there might be a fun or quirky way you can look at the way he did it. Maybe it was nerves! “He’s always so romantic when it comes to gift giving, I expected something really over the top but he really took me by surprise when he asked while I was in the bathroom!”

Perhaps on your anniversary, rather than asking for a new proposal, you could say something like, “I thought we could go away for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary. I know I may have hurt your feelings when I told you I wasn’t happy with the way you proposed and I’m sorry. What I was trying to say is that I was surprised by the proposal because it wasn’t what I had anticipated, but what’s most important to me is that you made the promise of forever and now we’re actually living it. I would love nothing more than to take a moment on our anniversary to toast to the wonderful life we have….” and so on.

He may be feeling bad that he let you down on such a big moment in your life. I know my SO gets angry when he feels he’s disappointed me, so I always try to reframe an issue not from the past, but in the future.

You can’t go back and get a new proposal, but he can still find a fun and exciting way to tell you how much you still mean to him on your anniversary.

Post # 8
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

@cowgirl09:  I suppose to each their own, My fiance straight up asked me what one i wanted and then bought it lol

Post # 9
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 1995

cowgirl09:  “preferably in a room without a toilet” LOL! Totally get it BUT have to tell u my story. When my DH upgrafed the stone in my ring (I thought he had  dropped it off for cleaning/check) I came home to a trail of Hershey kiss candies leading to the bathroom. The tub wad filled w/ packing peanuts and a single rubbet duck . I lifted the duck and a box was taped to the underside. In it was my ring with a new larger stone (went from .o8 to .20) So he managrd to create a romantic experience in the same room ad a toilet! LoL Just had to share 🙂  and by the way -the idea for that actually came from a book I had given him months before on ways to be more romantic! (I purposely did not read the book so if he used ny ideas from it I eould be surprised)

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