Post # 1
Hi, I just recently got engaged and am happy of course but I feel as if my happiness is overcome by ring disappointment. The ring is not at all what I wanted and I don’t like it…..It’s not because it’s too small or anything, it’s just totally not at all what I wanted. I thought I would grow to like it but I’m not. Should I suggest returning it for something else? It’s just that I’ll be wearing this ring for the rest of my life and I should love it. Please don’t call me ungrateful or selfish….I’m just looking for advice. Thanks in advance everyone.
Post # 3
Has he picked up on the fact that you don’t like it? My FI would see that I didn’t and he would handle the issue without me ever saying a word. He dragged me all over ring shopping before we settled on one. He asked me with a costume ring so it would be a complete surprise then dragged me everywhere looking for the real deal.
I would just talk to him. Maybe someone in his/your family has an heirloom they would like to hand down? Maybe you could ring shop together?
Post # 4
If the setting is too plain, remember that you can add a fancier band to it. If the setting is too much, you can always ask FI if he would mind if you exchanged it for a simpler setting.
Post # 5
Oh, don’t worry about a thing. I know plenty of girls who swapped after the engagement. You need to get something that you like! tell him that as much as you loved his proposal and are so happy, the ring just hasn’t grown on you and you’d like to exchange it for another style that suites you….maybe consider keeping the diamond and switching the setting, etc. It’s no biggie….it happens. Or if your not sure if you like it or not, give it some time. It might grow on you. I picked mine but it too me weeks to get comfortable with it. Love it now.
Post # 6
sorry you feel this way. Can u post a picture of the ring and a pic of the ring u would like better?
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice everyone. I expressed my feelings to him about the ring and he got totally defensive and mad stating he had spent X amount of dollars on this and yet I wasn’t happy. It’s never been a dollar amount issue…just style. I don’t care how much money it cost, in fact the more he saves the more we as a couple do! I even offered to pay for the additional charges if we encountered any with the jewerlly store upon changing but he was just too angry to hear it. Arghhhhhh!!!!!!!
Post # 8
@Sarah55555: I’m sorry that he reacted that way! Does he realize you will be wearing this forever? Maybe if you show him some pictures of a setting you like better he will come around.
Post # 9
Yea thats a difficult situation. I know a couple of girls who changed their ring but they waited until after they were married and called it an “upgrade”. Guys are very sensitive on this subject and your FI is probably hurt right now but he will get over it and eventually you can compromise and get the ring you are envisioning! GOOD LUCK!!
Post # 10
It is a difficult situation but as you can see he was really hurt by the fact that you didn’t like it. Some men are different, some men wouldn’t take it personal and would be willing to change it while others would be really hurt and see it as a rejection of them and their efforts to give you the ultimate gift.
As he got mad when you brought it up, I would suggest waiting a few years after marriage to make any changes. So maybe a 5th anniversay “upgrade.” I know it’s frustrating but just try to see it from his perspective, give it a little time and then you make some alterations or just buy him an UGLY, gawdy wedding band that he’ll hate and maybe he will see your side of things LOL.
Post # 11
Im sorry he had that reaction, def give it a lil time. forgive me for this suggestion if youre not spiritual, but pray for him to understand. My FI was very worried i wouldnt like my ring so I picked it out with him. For the time being, anytime you look at hte ring and think “this isnt what I wanted” follow that thought with, this ring represents_____ and list all the good things.And for the time being, focus on the posstive and get excited about planning the wedding! oh, maybe try to have SOMEONE ELSE talk to him about it…to avoid future fights about it…??
Post # 12
I know how you feel, my FI bought me a gorgeous ring that complete strangers have complimented me on but sometimes I feel like I would like a different one. It is, however, the kind of ring I hinted to him that I liked. What exactly is it that you don’t like about your ring? Can we see a pic?
A friend of mine got a different ring because she didn’t like her original one her FI bought her and she said she regrets ever changing it. That ring was much more special to her because of what it symbolized and how much thought went into him picking it out for her. Just be 100% sure before you get a new one. You don’t want to regret it later!
Post # 13
Truth be told, my ring wasn’t what I asked for either. It was smaller than I was expecting, and the setting was different (he ended up using a family diamond, which is wonderful, just not what I was expecting). After a couple months, it definitely grew on me and now I am fiercely in love w/her!
Also, don’t forget that you get to choose a band soon, so if you really can’t stand it, just hang in there until the wedding and then just wear your band only. This happened to a co-worker of mine, whose FI chose a ring that was soooo not her style. Well, she got married last weekend and when we saw her afterward, she was wearing a much more simple/beautiful gold band that she picked out and matched her personality and taste to a tee.
Post # 14
@Sarah55555: Sorry to hear about your situation, but I think that you should love whatever ring your FI gave you. I’m sure he picked it out with the best of intentions and it’s understandable if he got defensive and mad when you brought it up. Just count your blessings that someone loved you that much and you can now call him your FI.
Post # 15
He’ll get over it. Don’t worry.
Post # 16
I would just tell him you would prefer a different setting with the same center stone.