(Closed) Engagement ring BREAK DOWN AHHH

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Maybe you should sit down with him and go through a couple websites. Point out the rings you like and what you like about them. Ask him what rings he thinks are nice and why. It’s possible that the ring you like is out of his budget and he is trying to find something a little less. You should definitely say something to him, but be gentle about it. If neither of you minds, why don’t you just pick out the ring together?

Post # 4
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yea I think the first conversation you need to have is probably about budget. The ring you showed him is about 17 times more expensive than the ring he showed you. Once you get that out on the table maybe you can find some examples of rings you like in his budget to help guide him on his path 🙂

Post # 5
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

HAHAHAHA omg. I went through something similar with my FI. I literally sent him 4 choices of rings, and told him to pick which one he liked best. I had the same problem as you! It’s something that you’ll wear the rest of your life, so I really tried to eliminate any confusion, by sending him exactly what I like. 

Post # 6
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yea, you should take a hint from the price of the ring he showed you. A 4k ring is really expensive, a custom hand made etsy ring is of course going to be that expensive. Why don’t you go ring shopping? Or start sending him pictures of less expensive rings?

Post # 7
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Have you guys talked about budgets?  The two rings are on completely different ends in terms of cost! 

I would talk to him about what you want, but keep in mind that he may not be familiar with seeing engagement rings with black diamonds.  A lot of guys are really used to seeing solitaires and 3 stone rings, and that’s about it.

 

Post # 8
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with PPs.  You need to sit down and talk budget.  It seems as if he’s trying to find the cheapest rings possible.  No offense to him and there’s nothing wrong with that.  You two need to be on the same level though.

Post # 9
Member
4510 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Haha, men! He probably thinks those 2 rings look alike. Well, it sounds like you guys are being open about the ring selection, so that’s good…you can steer him toward one more like the etsy ring (but less $$, of course)…

Post # 10
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@CorgiTales:I totally agree!

I looove Laurie Sarah rings and wanted one but the one I wanted was at least double the budget we had set for a ring. Sit done and be honest with him. Show him rings you like and tell him what you like about them so that he has specific things to keep in mind while looking.

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree budget is an important discussion to have.

It looks like in your first post about rings, you said your budget was around $500. So try to find examples of rings you like in that budget range to show him.

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Typical.  Men don’t really understand the details of what makes one ring different from another.  he probably saw the one  you showed him and thought “ok something different than a solitaire.”  You need to sit down and explain what details you like, (ie. double halo, black diamonds, oval center store, vintage, etc).  Otherwise he won’t get it.  I had to do the same thing with my FI (i had to spell out, pave, halo, spacing, etc.)

 

Also I think the OP was just using those rings as examples of style and not necessarily saying those specific rings at that price.

Post # 13
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah there is definitely a big difference between the two rings!  Price is a big factor too and those two aren’t close to each other..  You guys should sit down and talk about the ring and what you would like.

Let him know what part of the ring you showed him you liked the most..  Was it the halo style you like?  Or the black diamonds?  Just so he knows what kind of look and style you like..  That he can try and find something that is more of a “happy medium”..  Maybe try and find some other rings that you like that are similar to the $4k one but quite a bit cheaper if budget is an issue for him.

Post # 14
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with PP that you need to discuss budget with him, and you really need to go into some places together in person to look. It is much easier for YOU to get an idea of what you want when it’s on your hand. 

The things I thought I originally wanted completely changed once I started seeing how they looked on me. 

Also, one thing that lots of guys forget is that there are layaway plans that allow you not to pay on credit, but to buy something a little nicer and make payments until it’s paid off.

This is how my FI paid for my ring, and how I’m paying for his. We’re not paying any interest, but we’re still getting something nicer than if we had paid in full the day we went in. Nobody expects you to have $1000+ in cash to throw around. 

Post # 15
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@mrand2008:

I know how you feel.. I had the same problem with my fiance.  We have totally different tastes in jewelry. The rings that he was looking at were either very ugly or very plain. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I suggested that we go ring shopping together to a few different places and pick out a few rings from each place that we both liked, and that also fit our budget. After we picked out a few rings that we both liked, we had the stores make a file for us with the rings that we were interested in.  We decided that when the time came for him to ask the question, that he had a few rings to choose from and it would still be a surprise for me, because I wouldn’t know which one he was going to choose, and I knew that no matter which one he chose, I would still love it!  Win-Win situation!! 

 

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