Post # 1
Hi girls, I’m new here but I’d really like to share my story, and get insight and advice from others. I don’t really have anyone to discuss my situation with.
Here’s the problem:…the ring. Its beautiful, and he mostly got my style right. However, after he proposed we noticed that one of the side diamonds is missing. I’m really sad about it because to me the ring will be a symbol not just random jewelry. I talked about it with him and told him that I feel its bad luck to have the symbol of his love for me be something that was once broken :/ He got upset that we had to get a different one, but understood and agreed. We are planning on changing the ring since it isn’t my size anyways (holiday availability). I feel really bad though because although I was sincere in my reasoning to replace the ring, I also don’t think it’s the best ring he could have gotten. The ring he gave me is 1/10 ct “promise” ring in 2 tone gold. At first glance its gorgeous but I even asked him what the middle was made of… because it feels and looks like nothing more than raised metal. I’m not materialistic, and not asking for something more expensive at all. In fact, he spent $200 on the ring and I saw others I would love for less or equal price. Saying that though, I realize deep down I’m offended because he spent more than that on a game console early this year, and our cell phones cost more than that as well. Also the fact that is designated as a “promise” ring. Am I being finicky? He did get upset when I found out about the price too. (looking up the exchange policy for the ring).
Anyway, we already agreed on exchanging it I guess I just want to feel better about the situation. Also, how is white sapphire? The two rings I’m mainly stuck between are cheaper than the one he got me but look bigger and prettier, and they’re white sapphire. I have no problem with this, and I talked to him about it. I feel that diamonds are really overpriced and I rather have a beautiful gem stone that is noticable than a miniscule blood diamond. What do you guys think?
Post # 3
Here’s the ring that he originally got.
Here are the two white sapphire rings I’d like to exchange for:
Post # 4
Honestly, your ring is going to need to get repaired at some point. wether another pave stone falls out or you have to fix your prongs. That doesn’t mean the marriage will fall apart. I think you should just get it fixed and keep what he gave you if you are sentimental at all. I wouldn’t want a different ring than the one my FI picked out specifically for me. But that is my personal opinion.
Post # 5
@Mircat: The other rings you picked out are gorgeous in my opinion. I am very sorry that this has happened to you and seems to be distracting from your engagement. *hugs*
I do feel that you deserve more than something that is a promise ring. Every man who wants to propose to you should aim for an engagement ring (in my high-maintenance, honest opinion). While knowing he has spent more on a game console is rough, you should also remember that he did get you the ring. Nowadays, with the silly, tacky overly large engagement rings, society is becoming more obsessed with the ring than the meaning of engagement. While, I am not suggesting that you are too engrossed in the materialistic aspect of the engagement, I do think you should tread lightly in order to not hurt his feelings. If you don’t like the ring, you just don’t! You will have to wear it for the rest of your life. It might be easy for me to tell you that only the thing that is wrong with the ring should be fixed. The missing side diamonds should be fixed. And your ring should be sized. If neither can be done, then you should opt for the one of your choice. But in all honesty, I don’t think you would be happy with either of those options. Be honest, yet kind.
Also, I absolutely do not mean to be rude but the ring above looks like a less expensive ring comparitively [to the ones below]. If they are all $200 or less, your FI might be coming out ahead and get a great deal on some very elegant rings!
Post # 6
I love the second white sapphire ring you posted!!
Post # 7
@Mircat: I think that you and he need to agree on what your ring should be…. But you should know that a ring, or LUCK, has no implication on if your relationship will work or not. A broken prong or missing stone is a fact of jewelry, not a sign of ultimate divorce.
Post # 8
@Mircat: First…I really like your original ring. It is very pretty, and I can understand your disappointment with one of the diamonds coming out. If you are sentimental, I would just get it fixed and keep it. There will alays be the concern about the quality though, and loosing future stones.
Second…..I totally get where you are coming from with the irritation about his financial investment in your ring VS. his “guy toys”. I have a small diamond myself. I love it, and like you, I am not materialistic at all, BUT…..if hubby was buying big ticket items regularly and then spent half the cost of those on my ring, I’d be a little hurt too. It sounds like maybe it was something that he didn’t really have time to plan for?
I say get the ring you love! When rubber meets the road, its just jewelry.
Post # 9
@Mircat: I totally understand while you’re upset! I would want an engagement ring too, and if he can’t afford a diamond one, an alternative would be just fine. Maybe he thought a real diamond promise ring was better than an alternative rock engagement ring? Silly men. And the fact that he spent more on a game system or a cell phone would also upset me!
normally I say be grateful and love your ring- but in your case I totally get it. Go for it.
Post # 10
Wow — the rings you are considering trading for are soooo very different from what he proposed with.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
I think it’s really important that you see white sapphires in person. Their opitical properties are much different than diamonds. That being said, have you checked out Etsy? There are some very unique white sapphire rings available on there. I’d check out that site!
Post # 12
I think the ring he got you looked like crap. It might be a bad picture, but all the diamonds look so white (not clear, but white).
TBH, he needs to man up and dish out more money on the ring. If he had money for a stupid game, he has money to buy you a better ring. I’m not saying he needs to spend 5k on a ring to show his love, but seriously, $200 e ring? Wait, it’s not even an ering, it’s a fricking promise ring.
BTW, if you are looking for sapphires, I would go for a blue/pink one. I actually saw a super pretty blue sapphire ring in sam’s for $200.
PS. Sorry, I know what I said it’s kinda mean. But it’s how I feel. Feel free to ignore it.
Post # 13
Thanks for all the replies. We’ve discussed it and I’ve sent him links to the ones I liked, as well as a diamond one in case he doesn’t agree with white sapphires. The Etsy reccomendation was good, but the ring is from Zales and I rather just exchange there rather than have to go shoppig around. I’m not extremely picky when it comes to the ring, I just looked at the ones in the price range that weren’t “online only” items and picked the ones I would like haha.
Like one comment said, I would prefer an alternate stone engament ring rather than a promise ring.
Also, I do feel that maybe he didn’t plan well. We’ve always talked about getting engaged and our future together, but right now we’re in a situation where it’s almost like we’re stuck. We’re still living at home. I’m going to college and he’s trying to get in the weight limit for the Marines and finishing up his H.S diploma. The argument for long has been that he needs to get his life going and stop wasting time, and I’m not the only one that has said it.
I guess he took into heart because in my moments of frustration I’ve said that if nothing has changed by the end of this year, it’ll be a wake up call for me and we’ll eventually break up. But when Christmas time came around I totally wasn’t expecting a proposal or even thinking along the lines of a breakup. I actually thought it would be promise ring, ironic right?
The weird thing is he told me did plan it and has been saving for a couple months. I don’t know if I should bring it up with him the concern that his game console (although he’s sold that already) and phone are worth more than his commitment? I really don’t care about the money involved I guess it’s just semantics.
Post # 14
I think you should have something you really love, and without so much worry of losing stones, as you will be wearing it for the rest of your life.
It would also bother me that he spent so much more on his toys. That being said, with one of the sapphire sets, you would not need to get a wedding band later.
I have seen the Asscher set in real life, and I love it! I think this is the one with the Euro shank, which is cool also.
Post # 15
@Mircat: I’m sorry you lost a diamond, that really stinks! I think your ering is pretty, it doesn’t matter if the store calls it a promise ring, your fi gave it to you when he proposed so it is your engagement ring. The rIng you have now looks like it would be hard to pair with a wedding band, so that’s something else to think about.
The white sapphire rings are pretty. I really like white sapphires, however, I would not choose a sterling silver ring for an everyday wear engagement ring, especially one with pave. Silver is soft and it bends easily I would worry about losing stones.
I really hope you are able to get a beautiful ring that you love!
Post # 16
I dont’ blame you and I don’t think you’re being materlistic or anything like that. I love the rings you picked out….let us know what one you end up getting 🙂
Congrats on your engagement!!