Engagement ring issues

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Briarroselex: I can understand why he might be hurt but I also understand you’re POV as well. Can you not find a compromise? If he’s unwilling to budge about the ring then what if you used gemstones in your wedding band, there are several bees who have GORGEOUS wedding bands featuring gemstones. Perhaps after a few years of marriage you can bring up the idea of an upgrade, when these are a little less stressful and he’s a little less sensitive.

perhaps something like this? If my ring didn’t come as a set (and also need a fitted band) I’d be all over these!

Post # 4
Member
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

I would pick a wedding band that I really loved to stand alone on my ring finger and wear the heirloom on my right hand or just stop wearing it once I was married. Would he be open to that?

Post # 5
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with @BlondeMissMolly:  

just get a wedding band you love and wear the engagement ring on the right hand. I know someone who does that.

Post # 6
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Jewelery store lighting is made to make low quality diamonds look incredibly sparkley and if your ring is slightly yellow in real life it will just look really brown in their lighting. You may be able to tell a slight difference between the diamonds if the ones on your wedding band are on the larger side but in most cases you probably wouldn’t be able to notice. If I would guess the lady was just trying to scam you. Look at diamonds by Lauren he uses warmer diamonds and his stuff is beautiful. I’m sorry you don’t like your ring tho! It was a good idea to swap the diamond but with family heirlooms I can see why he wouldn’t want to. Would someone else in his family be willing to use the ring and your FI could buy you what you really want? 

Post # 7
Member
980 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t be changing the heirloom ring. It obviously means a lot to him and his family and the fact that it was given to you is huge! You’re soon to be a part of that family! If you really hate ut though I agree with PPs about getting a band that you’ll wear alone. 

Post # 8
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BlondeMissMolly:  I think this sounds like a good compromise – wear the engagement ring on your other hand.

Otherwise, I’m sure you could find a jeweller to make you a diamond wedding band with more tinted stones (J/L, perhaps). They must be able to get hold of melée in this colour.

Post # 9
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Aquamarine wedding band – beautiful!

Post # 12
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Briarroselex:  I think you should get a CRAZY BLING BAND, and only wear your e-ring on special occasions!

Post # 13
Member
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

gee I can understand he’d be upset, but to not even be able to talk to you about this… I mean, it’s not that huge a deal, he really needs to be more level. his reaction would bother me more than any ring.

but maybe he just needs time to cool off, and you guys can talk about it tomorrow?

Post # 14
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

I don’t understand these type of situations. You tell someone specifically what you want, he knew it was important to you, but then did what he wanted anyway and gets funky that yours not THRILLED with a piece of crap heirloom. Prepare for a LIFTIME of disappointment.. If you’re cool with that-proceed 

Post # 15
Member
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I assume that his emotional attachment to the ring is more than you thought it was. It could also mean that he is getting nervous about the big day because it’s right around the corner and that sparked an overreaction.

Either way, you have already accepted the ring “as is”, so I believe you should try rings on that compliment it. If your heart is set on diamonds (give you FI time to recover), there are many rings with stones that would look good with your ERing.

I’m not one to match and I see absolutely nothing wrong with pairing a lower coloured diamond with a higher. I speak from experience. My anniversary ring’s diamonds are much higher in colour (D) than my other rings (G-H) and I wear them all together on my left finger. I love the look.

Post # 16
Member
3112 posts
Sugar bee

@Briarroselex:  I am so sorry he’s treating you like that.  He’s your FI, and he should want you to be happy!  I think a good compromise would be to wear the heirloom as a RHR and get your own set for e-ring and wedding band.  Does he normally treat you like this?  There is nothing wrong with wanting to like your e-ring!  It’s a symbol of your love for each other, and it has to sit on YOUR finger every day for the rest of your life.

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