Post # 1
Hey guys, I have been engaged since October and our weddings is less than 5 Months away. before my fi and i got engaged I told him what kind of ring I wanted. I specifically wanted a princess cut ring which has been my dream forever. My fi tends to think jewelry and things are shallow and unfortunately I don’t. When he proposed he gave me his great grandmothers engagement ring. It was not what I dreamed of. It is a round .5 carot diamond in an old fashioned setting. I felt a pang of disappointment but I was so happy to be engaged and the idea if a heirloom was so sweet, I never had anything bad to say about it. although I’ve noticed the diamond isn’t great quality and has a noticebly yellow tint. I didn’t really feel to concerned but yesterday my sister and I were looking at wedding rings for fun and while the lady was showing us rings my ring looked extremely brown/yellow. Not in a pretty true yellow diamond way. She told me it would be hard to match a wedding band with diamonds to mine. I honestly felt really sad because I wasnt going to get anything I wanted for my ring. I don’t have a mother so I’m a bit on my own for all this. However after talking to my dad he suggested changing the diamond and keeping the setting and having the best of both worlds. So I made the mistake of mentioning this to my fI and he flipped out saying he was shocked and appalled at me and that he will absolutely not change the diamond. Her saiwill will just have to get a wEd band with no diamonds. Amongst other hurtful things I am torn between feeling extremely guilty for feeling the way I do and extreme anger at my fi, I just thought we could compromise but now he thinks I’m shallow and all I care about is lookI. I feel so sad and wish I could talk to someone, any opinionS? Thanks guys
Post # 3
@Briarroselex: I can understand why he might be hurt but I also understand you’re POV as well. Can you not find a compromise? If he’s unwilling to budge about the ring then what if you used gemstones in your wedding band, there are several bees who have GORGEOUS wedding bands featuring gemstones. Perhaps after a few years of marriage you can bring up the idea of an upgrade, when these are a little less stressful and he’s a little less sensitive.
perhaps something like this? If my ring didn’t come as a set (and also need a fitted band) I’d be all over these!
Post # 4
I would pick a wedding band that I really loved to stand alone on my ring finger and wear the heirloom on my right hand or just stop wearing it once I was married. Would he be open to that?
Post # 5
I agree with @BlondeMissMolly:
just get a wedding band you love and wear the engagement ring on the right hand. I know someone who does that.
Post # 6
Jewelery store lighting is made to make low quality diamonds look incredibly sparkley and if your ring is slightly yellow in real life it will just look really brown in their lighting. You may be able to tell a slight difference between the diamonds if the ones on your wedding band are on the larger side but in most cases you probably wouldn’t be able to notice. If I would guess the lady was just trying to scam you. Look at diamonds by Lauren he uses warmer diamonds and his stuff is beautiful. I’m sorry you don’t like your ring tho! It was a good idea to swap the diamond but with family heirlooms I can see why he wouldn’t want to. Would someone else in his family be willing to use the ring and your FI could buy you what you really want?
Post # 7
I wouldn’t be changing the heirloom ring. It obviously means a lot to him and his family and the fact that it was given to you is huge! You’re soon to be a part of that family! If you really hate ut though I agree with PPs about getting a band that you’ll wear alone.
Post # 8
@BlondeMissMolly: I think this sounds like a good compromise – wear the engagement ring on your other hand.
Otherwise, I’m sure you could find a jeweller to make you a diamond wedding band with more tinted stones (J/L, perhaps). They must be able to get hold of melée in this colour.
Post # 9
Aquamarine wedding band – beautiful!
Post # 10
@BlondeMissMolly: +1. You took the words right out of my mouth!
Post # 11
Thanks guys, all good ideas. He won’t even talk to me for bringing it up 🙁
Post # 12
@Briarroselex: I think you should get a CRAZY BLING BAND, and only wear your e-ring on special occasions!
Post # 13
gee I can understand he’d be upset, but to not even be able to talk to you about this… I mean, it’s not that huge a deal, he really needs to be more level. his reaction would bother me more than any ring.
but maybe he just needs time to cool off, and you guys can talk about it tomorrow?
Post # 14
I don’t understand these type of situations. You tell someone specifically what you want, he knew it was important to you, but then did what he wanted anyway and gets funky that yours not THRILLED with a piece of crap heirloom. Prepare for a LIFTIME of disappointment.. If you’re cool with that-proceed
Post # 15
I assume that his emotional attachment to the ring is more than you thought it was. It could also mean that he is getting nervous about the big day because it’s right around the corner and that sparked an overreaction.
Either way, you have already accepted the ring “as is”, so I believe you should try rings on that compliment it. If your heart is set on diamonds (give you FI time to recover), there are many rings with stones that would look good with your ERing.
I’m not one to match and I see absolutely nothing wrong with pairing a lower coloured diamond with a higher. I speak from experience. My anniversary ring’s diamonds are much higher in colour (D) than my other rings (G-H) and I wear them all together on my left finger. I love the look.
Post # 16
@Briarroselex: I am so sorry he’s treating you like that. He’s your FI, and he should want you to be happy! I think a good compromise would be to wear the heirloom as a RHR and get your own set for e-ring and wedding band. Does he normally treat you like this? There is nothing wrong with wanting to like your e-ring! It’s a symbol of your love for each other, and it has to sit on YOUR finger every day for the rest of your life.