Post # 1
My boyfriend of 3.5 years and I have been looking at engagement rings. I’ve always wanted a diamond between 0.8-1 carat. However, I knew his budget was limited, so I was also looking at diamond substitutes (CZ, moissanite, white sapphire).
We found a diamond ring within his budget that I absolutely love! Unfortunately, my father just discovered that we were looking and expressed his disappointment that we are spending money on a ring rather than something more practical like paying down student loans or a down-payment on a house.
Now I am perplexed because I am not sure how to proceed. Should we be “practical” and get a CZ that I may have to replace every year or so because of scratching or dullness and hopefully replace later down the road when we can better afford it??? OR should we get what we’ve picked out and just deal with my father’s frustration???
Post # 3
I say long-term. If it’s one you love and would love to wear forever I say go for it as long as it’s within his budget and doesn’t put a strain on you financially.
Post # 4
We chose to go long term. It’ll save you money in the end. And that’s why we chose a nice set.
Post # 5
It’s something you will wear every day… go for the real thing! 🙂
Post # 6
I say long-term as long as it’s financially responsible and you guys do have a game plan for all the other big life expenses your father is concerned about. You could use the same argument for EVERYTHING in life: why buy a car that’s only 2 years old? get one that’s 5 years old. Why buy a 3 bedroom house? Get a 2 bedroom, etc. etc. etc.
The bottom line is – it’s your and your FI’s finances so as long as you two are comfortable with it and think it’s a wise decision, move forward. My ring is EXTREMELY nice considering FI & I are both students but FI saved for almost 8 months to be able to pay for a gorgeous ring that we both will love forever in cash.
Perhaps that would be a way to quell your father’s concerns – if your fiance can pay for the ring in cash, then clearly you two are able to set a financial goal together (because working towards the ring will mean altering your lifestyles a bit – FI & I spent many a weekend evening in and gave up gifts for each other on holidays) and work to achieve it, which should make your father feel a little better.
Post # 7
I personally would highly suggest moissanite. All the diamond sparkle, will endure just like a diamond, could be passed on for generations, ectect, and for a fraction of the cost. If you’re worried about the yellowish color some stones have, I would suggest buying from moissaniteco.com and getting an “enhanced” stone. They use a combination of heat and pressure to whiten the stone a bit, so it is equivalent to a G or H colored diamond (No color to the naked eye, which will never fade btw).
If you really want a diamond though I would say get a diamond… replacing the stone later really doesn’t sit well with me. However, if you really can’t afford it, I would consider other options. There are lots of other beautiful stones to choose from besides diamonds! Don’t get sucked into the idea that an engagement ring needs to be a diamond.
Post # 8
I say go for long term – it’s more sustainable, especially to your wallet! But going long term doesn’t mean you have to have a diamond. There are tons of other options available from white sapphires to colored stones. Or check out etsy for some unique choices without the brick and mortar mark up! Whatever you do, don’t spend more money than you can afford, it’s just a piece of jewelry! (and also, there’s no reason your dad has to know how much you spent) 🙂
Post # 9
the decision is between you and the FI. don’t let dad’s opinion detract you from what you guys decide together.
Post # 10
You should go ahead and get the ring you love :). It is something that you will be wearing for the rest of your life, and as long as it isn’t going to put a financial strain on your hubby, then you two should be fine. As for you dad? PSH! You’re getting married!!! Don’t let him cramp your style (no offense to your Dad >.<). I highly doubt that buying a diamond (or any ring) is going to put you and your partner back THAT much. If money was a huge issue, I am sure your partner would have said something. Good luck, and Congrats!! 🙂
Post # 11
My fiance and I had the same debate. We went ring shopping and put my ring on hold with a small deposit. A few months later we purchased our home. We were fortunate that we were able to take advantage of the $8k tax credit… which is how the ring was finally purchased. Luckily we were able to have our cake and eat it too. If you do the house thing, then you can take the money you get back from taxes and put towards a ring… just an idea. You will get back all closing costs and interest paid when tax time comes around… Think long term 🙂
Post # 12
Short or long term, I think you should make the decision that you will be comfortable with, for yourself – not to avoid disappointing your father.
Ultimately, I’m on his side though. Marriage is about building a life together, and for me, a good way to start this is to put money towards things that will give you a good start together in life. I would feel incredibly wasteful to spend lots of money on jewelry; I would always think of the improvement I could have made on the house, or a trip we could have taken or something like that.
BUT this is ME (and DH) and our choice makes us happy. You have to make the decision that will make you happy, no matter what others will say – because one way or another, there will always be people to criticize your choice.
Post # 13
i say go with the ring you love and deal w your dad. if you love it, and it does not totally break the bank, it will be worth it to you in the long run.
Post # 14
I’d also suggest looking into moissanite if you’re looking for a compromise between something long lasting and easier on the wallet. But if you have the means and aren’t going into major debt, it is your own decision–not your dad’s
Post # 15
I could understand your dad expressing disappointment if it wasn’t in your budget but since it is…he really doesn’t get a say. (I’m assuming this budget already factors in the student loans and having a savings buffer for later on down the road).
In the end, it’s really not his business. My parents were upset that I didn’t get a diamond. You can never please everyone…you’ll find that out more and more as you get deeper into wedding planning 😉
Post # 16
Long-term, definitely. This is between you and FH–your dad doesn’t get a say.