Post # 1
Well, I have to admit that we did things backwards.
He asked me to marry him without the ring and then we moved on with planning the wedding a while later. We purchased my ring “out of the wedding budget” and all I waited for was the presentation of the RING.
Let me state that my SO is a truck driver and is gone more than he is home. So, I received the ring in the mail and had to wait an additional week for him to come back home.
I was so excited about my ring. I have HATED and DESPISED the entire wedding planning for many reasons. So, I have to say that receiving my ring and how he was going to present it was the HIGHLIGHT of it all.
When SO comes home on Friday, I gave him the box to let him see the ring (I was going to walk away into the other room, thinking that he was going to put the ring away). He pulls it out and ask me, “Will you marry me…?” and slid it on my finger.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I was in tears! After everything….
I WANTED TO CANCEL EVERYTHING. No kidding. I don’t know nor do I care whether anyone can relate or understand at this point but I am so over it.
The SO saw that I was upset and apologized to me. He said that he did not understand what was the big deal. (GET OUTTA HERE) Then he even said, “What do you want me to do?” (I am going to throw up now)
I will state that my upsets with my SO are far and few between. But dang…he really did it for me on this one.
My co-worker comes into my office this morning and was waiting for the GREAT STORY. She did make a great suggestion after I told her what happened. She suggested that I take the ring off and give it back to him and tell him to re-present when he is ready. I think that is what I am going to do. Back to this wedding stuff….
Sorry, just needed to get this out.
Post # 3
I think you’re overreacting. What’s important to you, marrying this man or getting a good ring story? It’s not even the actual proposal…
Post # 4
I’m sorry that you weren’t happy with his proposal- but he’s a guy, and many guys struggle with how/why to do an elaborate proposal. If you’re miserable planning your wedding, and all you were excited about was how fancy he’d get while putting a diamond on your finger, perhaps a wedding isn’t right for you right now? Not trying to be mean, I’m just saying… weddings are full of stress, but MARRIAGE is full of even more stress! I’m about two months out, and there have been some days where I want to run away and elope, but I lean on my fiance to work through whatever the issue is. I’m so excited to marry him, he honestly could have asked me anywhere/any way and it would have been authentic to him and his personality- which is why I want to spend my life with HIM. Again- I am not trying to downplay your relationship or why you’re getting married. Could you elaborate a little on why wedding planning has been so terrible for you up to this point?
Post # 5
@divadowell: I know you’re upset now, but not everything in life is perfect! You have a man that loves you and bought you what I’m sure is a beautiful ring. Talk to him and tell him why you’re upset. You’re so lucky to have a man even willing to take that step, so many of us don’t have that.
Post # 6
This is what happens because there is so much hype surrounding the proposal – in media… on boards like these. Women get the idea that it has to be some over the top fanfare. It just isn’t realistic or something that happens in the majority of cases, I think. I hate that for couples. it turns what SHOULD be the focus of initiating plans to commit to spend the rest of your life together into some hollywood driven keepin up with the Joneses.
MOST proposals include a question “will you marry me”. MOST might not have a ring. VERY few include all the fanfare that you hear about.
I’m sorry the proposal didn’t meet your expectations. It sucks to want something from someone else and have them not meet your expectations.
You are clearly marrying a guy who doesn’t buy into the hype. So – now you know. If you want the hype for the rest of your marriage YOU will have to create it. He won’t know to get you *specific* gifts for each anniversary, he won’t know to get you a push present when you have a baby. He may be the type of guy who is *just* about the comittment and the spending the rest of his life with you. Think about if that is good enough for you.
Post # 7
I don’t understand the crazy emphasis on proposals. Why would you even consider calling off the wedding because of the way he gave you the ring? If you’re being serious then I think you need to consider whether or not you’re actually ready to marry this man.
Post # 8
By all means, if this is something that you feel is worth breaking up over then I think you should tell him to redo it. But life isn’t perfect and some men just aren’t great at the big romantic gestures. If that’s something that is a dealbreaker for you, then it really is best to end it now. People rarely change. But also be prepared for him to be upset and question his decision to propose if you give the ring back and tell them that he didn’t do a good enough job.
Post # 9
@divadowell: Ouch. Talk about anti-climactic.
Especially in the day and age of the over-the-top proposals we can watch on youtube, and all the ideas on pintrest, it’s hard to have your man open a shipping box and just stick a ring on your finger.
Although this may not make you feel any better, a lot of women don’t have big proposals.
And you could try to see his on-the-spot presentation as excitement. Maybe he was too excited to wait? If your wedding date is correct, then your wedding is coming right up (congrats!), so maybe he was worried that you wanted to start sporting your ring ASAP. There are dozens of reasons why he may have not planned a big proposal. But none of them are “He doesn’t love you as much as the guy who gets down on one knee in the middle of a crowded town square while on vacation in Europe.”
Your feelings are valid, and you have a right to be disappointed. I’m just trying to point out that you’ve still got a good man, even though he flubbed this up. (Sometimes I like that reminder. Especially when wedding planning stress had me on the verge of tears every other day.)
Post # 10
You said that he proposed before. Did you make it clear to him that you were expecting another proposal when you got the ring? If not, it seems unfair to be upset with him. Do you think this is something you can get past or will it bother you? If it’s the latter, why don’t you tell him about your expectations and ask if you can have a re-do.
Post # 11
I’m sorr you were disappointed. How did he ask you the first time? I tend to assume that when a man proposes without a ring, the first proposal is the “real” thing and you guys pick the ring out together and he is not proposing again, you are just getting the ring.
What’s important is that you will be spending the rest of your life with the man you love, not how he proposed. My parents are foggy on the details of their engagement 35 years later anyways! They always argue about how it happened. SO, even though you think it’s something you’ll never forget – you will! 😉
Post # 12
I don’t understand – I thought he already proposed?
You wanted a second proposal to ‘present’ the ring?
I think you are over-reacting!
Post # 13
This is a good man, who loves you and wants to marry you, and who bought you a beautiful ring to symbolize his love. Think about that for a moment…how could that not bring a smile to your face? 🙂 It is the meaning behind the ring, the LOVE behind it, that is the important part. Just my two cents!
Post # 14
I am with him…. what’s the big deal? You are already engaged.
Post # 15
I’m honestly confused as to why you’re so upset. He had already proposed, hadn’t he? So why did it matter how he gave you the ring?
I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but I think you’re overreacting.