Engagement/wedding confusion

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Sporty-Bee:  I think you should have a serious talk with your boyfriend about what you thinking weddings, and more importantly, marriages, are about.  If him joking isn’t a joke to you, let him know that it’s hurting you and no one’s laughing but him.  Those discussions can be hard but they are essential to healthy relationships.

Post # 4
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@Sporty-Bee:  I can definitely understand his confusion, but I am a little bit confused myself about him wanting you to have the ring you want, but then saying that you should have a $100 ring. I study German culture, so I know that weddings really aren’t a huge deal for them like they are in the US or in other countries. I also know that typically they get a plain wedding band to wear on the left hand during engagement and switch it to the right when they are married, so this could be why he is confused about you having a big engagement ring. 

When he gets back from his trip I would ask him if you can have a serious conversation about future plans and what kind of engagement and wedding you both need or want. I would tell him what you 100% need from him (if you want the big ring, big ceremony, etc. or if you can settle for just a plain band and a courthouse ceremony). I would also try to find out more about his views on marriages. Is he TOTALLY against having an actual wedding, spending money on jewelry, etc? 

In the end, you both are going to have to compromise with some things. Maybe you get your ring, but you get married in the courthouse and then have a party later.

Post # 5
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

Congratulations, you are pre-engaged!

Immigration is a lengthy process. So, if I were in your shoes, focus on getting him to the Carribean/where you live.

I also mirror a PP’s post; I briefly read that in German culture, the couples exchange rings during engagement. Fancy engagement rings are not very often sought for in Europe; I don’t think. (They are also very expensive in Europe; you’re better off making a trip to the States; etc and look for stock sales)

Post # 8
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

That’s really cool! 🙂 Good luck with the immigration process. I pray that it will go smoothly, especially with him moving to US.

On a side note, if you ever wanted to exchange traditional German recipes, just PM away! Even though my FI’s Canadian, half of his heritage is German. 🙂

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