Post # 1
I know this topic has been brought up before but I wanted to get some advice from people out there in my field, I work as a lab tech for medical device companies and chemical labs. I was just recently laid off and have to go job searching (most likely as a temp again), and I recently got married but I am still deciding whether or not to change my last name.
My current last name is a Spanish surname which in Colorado is associated with Mexicans (which I am not) this sadly tends to get negative connotations. I married someone from a different culture who has a more European last name.
When I job searched last time I was not married so I had my last name and no ring and managed to get a job but this time I am worried that if I wear my rings even if I just wear my band that all these really unnecessary things will come up (which I know are totally illegal to ask but still).
I’m worried that they will judge me because they will think I married someone with a Spanish last name (this used to happen to my mom all the time because she actually did marry someone with a Spanish surname even though she is European), I am worried that if I wear the big diamond or the band that they will treat me differently and try to give me less money or not hire me at all (due to the well if she’s married with that big of a rock why does she need a job, or oh she has a husband to support her so she doesn’t really need this), I am also worried that since I work in the scientific field that they will take me less seriously as a candidate because I am married (although this one doesn’t matter as much because if this is their attitude I probably shouldn’t work there.)
I was thinking of:
-not wearing either ring and just showing up with them if I get hired or at a second interview.
-changing my last name and wearing the diamond (my grandmother did this and it worked for her, she changed her name to her husband’s European last name and wore the diamond and got jobs but she also was an admin so I am not sure how much it mattered.)
One of the downsides of changing my name would be that if they called my previous job references who knew me by my maiden name, the references will have no idea who they are talking about.
I don’t mean to offend anyone with this topic but I was just wondering if anyone else had found themselves in a similar situation and what they did about it. Also as far as money goes, I am the one who makes more of it so I need to get a job quicker sooner than later so we can stay afloat.
Post # 3
I think that you should just be yourself
if you are still concerned/worried then you in my opinion you should change your last name and wear your band only…contact your references and tell them you changed your last name and then you will be ok….good luck
Post # 4
I would only change my name if you were willing to do this before thinking of changing jobs. If you weren’t going to change your name before, don’t do it now.
As for the rings, I would wear what you would wear to work. If you’ll be working with chemicals and would leave the engagement ring home, then skip it for the interview. Not that they should be looking at those things (and they might not be) but at least then you’ll be consistent. Don’t change who you are for a job interview, or you’ll have to change who you are forever.
On a side note, the last time I had a job interview I was still engaged (the first time), so I wore my engagement ring (which included a wrap) and didn’t think a thing of it…I don’t know that anyone noticed.
Post # 5
Regardless of whatever you change your last name to, they will do background,degree and everything else verification. I dont get why being Hispanic, or perceived to be married to a hispanic is seen as negative for your job search. If they re that bad-do you reallyw any to work there?? As for the engagement ring. I don’t get the whole ” she doesn’t need a job because of her huge ring.” viewpoint. How big is this diamond!!??
Post # 6
mmm…I don’t get the ring thing either, but I don’t work in a scientific field. As far as as the Spanish-sounding last name goes, I would think in this day and age, in a scientific field, that them thinking you are a minority can only help.
I sometimes wonder if I *don’t* get called for interviews because my name is so all-american and “white” to be honest. I’m looking forward to changing my surname to my fiance’s name, which is more ethnic (he’s from another country), because I feel like it automatically makes people think I’m more openminded, blah blah, etc. It’s silly, but I think people DO judge names.
I got an interview at an extremely prestigious international-firm. When I went to the interview, I was literally the only american white bread in the room. They asked me several questions about if I felt I had an “international outlook”, and asked me how I feel I “get along with people who are different than me”, which frankly, I felt like was ONLY asked because I am so typically “american”. I was a bit offended. I speak two other languages at a conversational level, I’ve traveled extensively to every continent except Australia and Antartica, I’ve lived in other countries, my FI is another race AND another religion AND from other country. I feel like I’m pretty damn well “international”. But oh wait. I’m white, I’m american, and I’m from Texas. I must be Sarah Palin. 😉
Post # 7
@blingbling: It’s just a 1.25 carat round solitaire, it just looks huge because I have a 4.5 size finger and the setting its kind of high.
@GelaMac: I think that is very good advice and I will keep that in mind.
@MerryWidow: Also good advice.
@BookGirrl: Thats a whole nother bag of worms! I’m sorry that they pigeon hole you for what you look like as well, it would be nice if no one judged anyone based on looks no matter their sex, age, weight, skin tone etc but in reality everyone does and last names do give off certain expectations no matter what kind of a last name it is as you noted yourself. I had thought of keeping the name for the diversity angle but only if that know is my name and not his. My mother gets picked to go to all kinds of diversity based events due to her married last name (she is a teacher). She does go to them stand up for all the Puerto Rican kids and also because she is more than just European she is also part Hawaiian so technically she counts I guess lol. On another note (and not to offend or put down blingbling) I dont like the word Hispanic so I dont use it, and won’t answer race/ethnicity questions if there based this way. My brother once had a teacher who insisted on calling him that even when he asked her not to. He complained to my father who had a talk with the teacher. She argued he had to call him that because it was the “proper term.” My father asked her then so what are you. She responded that she was Irish. He said okay then so you are British. She said no I am Irish to which he responded, Ireland is a part of Great Britain is it not? She nodded and he told her then the “proper term” for her ethnicity is British. And so she understood and stopped referring to my brother with a term which he did not like.
On a side note I also don’t like the other sweeping terms, Caucasian, Asian etc etc. To me it feels like I have been categorized and it doesn’t actually reflect my culture. There are plenty of people who “belong” to these categories that don’t mind being referred to by these terms, but I myself am not one of them.
Post # 8
If you were planning on changing it – change it. If you weren’t – don’t. I do, however, think that you should only wear the wedding band for the interview.
Post # 9
I’m a lab manager, and as far as I’m concerned there aren’t enough women in the sciences! I know where I’m at no one would give your ring or your last name a second glance. Don’t worry about it! 🙂
Post # 10
It isn’t right, but names DO impact your marketability. If that is the case in your field, and you’d have an advantage with a European last name, change it! Even if only for your resume. You can have different personal and professional last names.
Same for the rings. Are you more likely to get hired or a higher sallery without the rings? Don’t wear them. In my case, I felt being married was an advantage in my field, so I wore my wedding band to interviews (but I probably would not wear a big engagement ring).
It would be nice if these advantages/biases did not exist, but they do. I don’t see the logic in ignoring that fact on principle. If going by your married name will give you more opportunities, or make your life easier, why would you keep your maiden name?
Post # 11
Oh, and as for references, I’m pretty sure you’re not the first woman to change her last name after marriage lol. It won’t be a problem.