Engaging Experience

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Ok. I think I can relate.

I am a planner for sure and spent my whole life thinking about all of the different options for my wedding.

I did not realize how much all of it COSTS though, however.

My FI and I are financially “fine” at the moment. Not a lot/ any expendable income at the moment, but doing fine. It is his second wedding, so his parents are not paying a dime, and I don’t talk to my parents. AKA: we will be paying in full ourselves.

My fiance does not hold the same lofty “best day ever” expectation of the wedding. #1 He is just a guy #2 But he also already did one OVER THE TOP one, and constantly tells me that it really wasn’t all that.

All of these coming together bascially equals: not going to be a big fairytale dream day in the stereotypical sense by any means.

We have been planning our wedding for, honestly, about a year now. We just got engaged recently. It just took me TIME to change my perception of what a wedding is.

And honestly, I think that coming to this reality has helped me have MORE appreciation for the day.

You say that it is the “foundation you build your life on.” I don’t think it does at all in how you say that about the interactions with family and what not. It is just a party at the end of the day, and theorhetically you and your FI have already promised to love each other forever.

It builds the foundation for the rest of your life in the sense that you don’t want to set your sights on the wedding, not the marriage. And you don’t want to get into debt.

So here is my advice, it IS a big deal. Don’t let anyone tell you it isnt. If money isn’t an option, by all means get the crazy dress and cake and all of that fun stuff and enjoy your moment to feel like the bride you always wanted to be. But keep in mind these aren’t what makes the day a big deal.

I like to think of it this way: I HOPE my wedding isn’t the best day of my life, because I have a whole lifetime left with this guy 🙂

You sound like a sweetie, and I bet your wedding will be beautiful no matter what


Post # 5
5906 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Lilycat:  Congratulations on your engagement!  Its an exciting time in any person’s life, but as you journey through the process, keep in mind that we all define what marriage and a wedding is, differently. 

A big wedding with a long engagement to plan and coordinate every detail is what a lot of brides want and do…and some of us, felt very strongly that all we really needed, and wanted, was to be married.  Some couples want to share their day with as many guests in attendance as possible, and others spirit away one night to elope.  Every way is right, as long as its the way tha works for you and your FI.

There are moments in the planning of all these things that it all seems to fall apart, and not go your way, it can be devastating, and upsetting and other times you’ll be flying with excitement and elation.

Don’t let the people around you, who define it differently ruin any of your fun, but also don’t expect to change their minds, its all very personal, so as long as you’re doing what works for you, that’s all that matters.


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