Post # 1
I am currently in the design phase of my diy invites. My invites will not include an inner envelope addressed to all the invites. Instead, the package will be kept together with a beautiful gold rosette ribbon elastic (it’s hard to explain). Also, my venue is very limited in size. As such, those people that we want/need to invite will pretty much max capacity. So, while we would love to leave open the option of "and guest", our venue will not be able to handle it. This being the case, how do I word the rsvp or envelope to ensure that only those invited are to come (i.e., no "and guest")?
I really don’t want to put a max number on the rsvp (i.e., Two seats are reserved for…. or __ of 2) and I don’t really want to put a blank for the number of guests for obvious reasons but then how do I know how many people will come from those "and family’s" that I will be inviting?
Help! Any suggestions?
Post # 3
short of putting only their name on the invite, it seems like the _ of 1 option is the best idea…
Post # 4
I seriously suggest you find out the name of every person you’re iniviting and put it on the invitation. Try not to leave it open to "and guest" or "and family." Also call up every one you can to explain the situation, in case some people think they can bring a friend.
Even when we didn’t invite "guest," people made arrangements to bring a date or friend. We didn’t find out until travel arrangements were booked.
Post # 5
We also wanted to limit guests (partly for space reasons, mostly to preserve intimacy), so we only are inviting people’s partners /family if we know them or want them to be there. So for most people, we were able to write out their names on the mailing envelope (also not using an inner envelope). For families I wrote out kids names if I knew they would get a kick out of seeing their name on the invite. But for some people we just put "The Smith Family" if they were all invited.
Key to this, however, was that we designed and printed our own invitations, so we were actually able to customize the RSVPS to each invite. I designed 4 different RSVP cards, with one to four name lines. So even if I said "The Smith Family" on the mailing envelope, the RSVP only had 4 lines. For my single friends (or friends who just started dating someone we don’t know and aren’t inviting), I just put their name on the envelope, and gave them an RSVP with only one line. hopefully they aren’t audacious enough to add another line in for a guest! If you aren’t able to do this, I also think going with the ___of _1_ sort of thing is probably the best idea. Especially if people see that you handwrote in the "1" – it then seems obvious that you deliberately expect them to bring only themselves!
Post # 6
We have the same issue – with venue size. We do have an inner envelope, and will use that to put all names actually invited. I think you could do the same on the outer envelope, unless you had some really large families. If the outer envelope is addressed simply to: Mr. John Smith, you would think that he would know he is not invited to bring a guest, but not always the case. So your RSVP is possibly a good idea. We are not DIYing, and so will have standard RSVPs. I anticipated perhaps having to make a few phone calls when we get the RSVP cards in order to explain our venue size limitations.
Post # 7
I think a lot of people are ignorant to the etiquette rules regarding bringing a guest. I was talking to a single friend of mine and explaining to her how small the venue was and how few people were invited, she basically asked me who she should invite to accompany her. I changed the subject, but I imagine I will just have to suck it up and assume she is inviting someone, regardless of what I put on the invite. Honestly, I too was ignorant about this before I started my own planning.
Post # 8
I was told since I only have outside envelope that my response card could include me handwriting the guests names on response cards this way no confusion who or who is not invited.
Post # 9
We are doing three things to insure that our single guests don’t bring a date:
- We are addressing the invitations to the people directly invited
- Our RSVP is online, once guests log in with their passcode, their name will pop up and there is no option to write in a guests name. They mark if they are coming are not and then make their food selection online.
- I was upfront with the wedding party that there would be no guests for single invitees — they understand and support us in this and are helping to spread the word.
Post # 10
Our RSVP will be printed by me, myself, and I. I have collected every single person’s first and last name of those who are invited and putting their name and a check box of attending or not attending.
More info –> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/2-of-1-attending
Post # 11
I’m DIYing and not having a inner envelope. I plan on placing the names on the RSVP cards as I print them. I’m not to worked up about the guest issue – I’m letting everyone from my list bring a guest. Now my FMIL and Mom have excluded guests on some of their side in order to meet their numbers. But these are mostly older guests (often widows) and I don’t think it will be a big issue.
Post # 12
i’m doing an inner envelope, but honestly, people are so clueless these days about etiquette that i can’t rely on just that to prevent awkward convos. i think if you don’t want to do __ of 2, writing the guests’ names on the RSVP before it’s sent is the best way to go. that’s what i’m planning on doing.
Post # 13
I totally agree that people are clueless– and I don’t mean that in a mean way! But they don’t realize that if its just their name on the envelope that they can’t bring a guest. Etiquette is not taught anymore and unless you have a wedding these things generally don’t pop up! I mean when was the last time you threw a sit down dinner for 150 people??? I think if your numbers are that tight you should:
1) Make sure your family and bridal party all work on spreading the word (nicely) that no guests are allowed.
2) If you have a Wedding blog or website you devote a space to laying it out
3) Make it as clear as possible ___ of 1 sounds like it might work.
4) Be sure to talk it up when you can to your single guests: "Gee I wish our venue had more seats so that my single friends like you could bring a date… but I know everyone will have a great time with the group I could invite"