Post # 1
Hi I’ve been a lurker for a while now but decided to post because I just need to get this off my chest and see if you ladies have any advice on how I can get passed these feelings. First off I am 21, I know I’m still very young and have plenty of time to find a great guy and marry him and all that. My problem is that I am so envious of my best friend, we are the same age and she just seems to have everything I want, in her personal life and career. She has been with her fiancé for almost 5 years now and they are getting married in a year. She is so happy with him and I can see how much they love each other, I’m happy for her but I almost resent her because I want someone who loves me like her FI loves her. I always wanted to get married young but that isn’t in the cards now, but she gets to. I’m tired of dating and having to put myself out there to meet guys, I’d rather stay in most weekends but I want to meet someone so bad that I go out all the time. I hate being in the dating scene. She gets to stay home and cuddle and know that even without make-up on someone finds her beautiful. By the time we’re 25, she’ll have a husband, a career, a house, and will be starting to TTC and I don’t even know if I’ll have a boyfriend by then! I’m a bridesmaid in her wedding and love to help her plan and like I said I’m so excited for her but it sucks to always talk about her wedding and her future when I’m just here with no major plans. How do I accept that she has someone and her life is starting and I’m still stuck. 🙁
Post # 3
@bakergirl21: The grass is always greener on the other side!! You are YOUNG! and I say this being 21 as well. You have plenty of time for a career and a relationship. Why not focus on improving you? Do things you like to do, travel, take up a new hobby, live your life! I’m in a committed relationship and I love my SO to death, but I’m jealous of my friends that can travel and do whatever they want! I love to travel and I want to move up north, but I can’t just do what I want to do, I have to consider what my SO wants and compromise. Believe me you can have a great life despite being single. Live your life and your man will show up before you know it! I promise things will get better 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@prettyinpink11: +1 I’m incredibly jealous of people who can go out and flirt and do whatever, and I love my SO!
@bakergirl21: I agree with the PP, the grass is 100% greener on the other side. Don’t throw away your youth years! I’ve been with my SO since I was 20, and I wish I would have lived the single college life a little longer, even though I always thought I wanted to find someone to fall in love with right away and get married right away.
Post # 5
@bakergirl21: My best friend married when we were 21. I was envious too – I’d never had a long term boyfriend at the time.
As it turned out, I met my husband a year or two later, and married in my mid 20s. Soon after my wedding my best friend’s husband cheated on her so their marriage fell apart. 20+ years later I’m still married to my first husband. (She eventually remarried too, I might add).
I don’t wish that on your best friend of course, but my point is it’s probably better to marry in your mid 20s than at 21. 21 is really young, you have many, many years to meet someone and marry.
Post # 6
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. I can think of three people around my age who got married at 22. Two are now divorced & one is struggling financially because her relationship was more important than her career.
I am 29 and in that stay at home with no makeup phase. I loved, and sometimes miss, the phase of my life where I always went out and had great times with friends.
Post # 7
You aren’t stuck! Ok I’m 21 and getting married in a year and a half and am so happy to being doing just that. However you have everything in front of you and I feel envious of you from time to time because I would love to be able just do what I want without having to check with FI constantly if we have something else planned or just have a ton of time to spend with friends but I’m to busy planning a wedding and making sure my relationship is first in my life. You still have time to just have fun instead of being stressed about a wedding and then buying a house and then affording kids. Take time to enjoy your life before all the wonderful stress comes along, because being in love is great but it also takes a lot of work. Like PP said take this time to work on you and make sure you know what you want in life so that when the right comes along you can be completely ready for him. And just think since you are helping your friend plan her wedding she will have gone through it already so she can give you awesome tips for when yours comes around 🙂 She is going through everything now so you can learn from her on what you want and don’t want in a relationship.
Post # 8
@bakergirl21: I know it sucks. Its hard. It feels like someone else has what you so desperately want.
I used to feel the same way – and then I met a wonderful guy who makes me so happy.
I agree with the sentiment that the grass is often greener on the otherside. People rarely share their difficulties. I recently found out that a friend I used to (and continue to) admire, who seemed so put together, smart, confident, and perfect, was assaulted as a child, and suffered lingering effects of that. I would have never guessed – I spent all this time being envious of her – not that she isn’t amazing, but I wouldn’t have wanted to go through what she went through.
You are not stuck. You are in the right place for you, and you should enjoy and experience the journey.
Post # 9
@bakergirl21: All of things she is experiencing right now, you will too…eventually! And, I bet when you do your best friend will be ‘envious’ of all your milestones!! Not because maybe she will want them, but because she misses them. You will get those butterflies, the first kiss, the first I love you, etc, and she will have experienced them ‘years ago!’
I say this because I am the last of my best gf’s to be getting married…at age 31, and a lot of them are 5+ years into a marriage and they tell me they are ‘jealous’ that my time of over the moon, cannot keep my hands off my FI is over for them. Not over over, but different!
As far as age goes, you are young. You may start your life in different ways…getting a kick ass job, decorating your own home the way you want, having a different kind of freedom. All kinds of fun things that does not need to include someone else, but May one day soon. Stop looking so hard. Love really does find you when you least expect it 🙂