(Closed) Envy….. from the ring to the dress to …

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I honestly haven’t ever really had “wedding envy”.

I tend to see it as:

my ring/dress/wedding + huge pile of money
vs
their ring/dress/wedding – huge pile of money

In the end, I’d rather have a conservative wedding and not spend a bunch of money. And that’s exactly what I did. Nobody else cares as much about the wedding and details as the bride. 6 months after the wedding, most people won’t even remember what your dress looked like or what your colors were!

Post # 4
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s hard sometimes because there are so many beautiful choices out there and you really can only pick one (or a few, if you’re a multi-dress bride).

If you’re really happy with your choices, think about how that makes those things special. It’s YOUR wedding dress. The ring your FI (or you and your FI) picked out. That carries a lot of weight.

Post # 5
Member
11397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Just keep telling your self what you just told us –

My ring is beautiful and I know others have envied me for mine, quality not big, and my dress is the right one for me.

There will always be someone out there with a bigger ring, a bigger wedding, ect. But bigger does not mean better. Everyone is different so everyone’s rings & weddings will be different. Otherwise the world would be a boring place! 

🙂

Post # 6
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think when you’re in the planning stage, its easy to get wrapped up in Style Me Pretty worthy weddings and wish you could afford that, but the reality is the vast majority of us can’t, and thats ok.  So I totally understand, but I think you won’t give a rats @ss about it on your wedding day, and no one else will either.   I’ve been to a lottttt of weddings over the last 10 years, from backyard potlucks to extravagant black-tie affairs, and I’ve never thought “oh man, they really should have spent more money”

Post # 7
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose:  I may not have been on this site very long as an actual member, but Ive been looking at the site since April and I have to say I absolutely love your posts. You are such a sweet and pleasant person. 

Sorry to go off on a tangent, I just love your responses lol

Post # 8
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

I never got over it until I had the wedding. Then everything was perfect. 😉

Post # 9
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SweetLoveSL:

Hi there! Just want to let you know that you are not alone who feels envious on someone else’s ring or dress. I, too, sometimes being bugged with that nasty feeling when I see others wearing expensive looking rings and dresses. I am a Christian and I understand where this feeling comes from,and so right then and there, I know too how to overcome it.If Im to ask how I am able to overcome it.. its not all by myself. I just have the conscious awareness that God had already blessed me with a guy that I have been praying for. FI is already an answer to my prayers. So all other material things become secondary or meaningless to me. Besides, the price tags of the dress or the rings does not mean everything to a relationship/marriage.(I have already seen people wearing expensive rings/wedding dress, and elaborate weddings but their relationship is not rewarding or fulfilling).

Im not saying this, to make me sound sour-graping. Of course, I would like to have a very nice and expensive ring on my finger or wear the latest trend and signature wedding dress and everyhting, but if my FI can’t afford that, it should not get on my way to enjoy him and be thankful and greatful of what we got.

So,I cheer my self up with the thought that true love is not measured on material things but on how you treasure each other even when you hit the bottom.

Post # 11
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SweetLoveSL:  You know, I think its natural to feel envious sometimes.  I think it’s the “grass is always greener on the other side” phenomenon.  It’s normal to wonder what it would be like to have someone else’s things or experiences.  As long as it doesn’t get carried away, I wouldn’t feel bad about it.

Post # 12
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, I’m not sure about wedding envy, but i’ll share how I deal with envy whenever it creeps up. Whenever I get that jealous feeling, I think of something I have that I don’t think anyone else has. For example, if I’m feeling envious of my wealthier friend, I think to myself, “But I have my FI who is the kindest, most generous man I’ve ever met. She may love having more financial security than I do, but the guy in her life doesn’t really treat her that great.” (true example)

I realize that it might sound like I’m putting down others to make myself feel better, but really it’s more realizing that not everybody has it all. People are blessed in different ways. By realizing what I’m lucky to have, I feel less envious toward what someone else has.

Post # 14
Member
3801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was envious of girls that got engaged after me, but set their date way before we did. We have been engaged since Feb. and last night put our deposit down for a June wedding.

I think now that I have my date and can give people concrete answers about our day, I will not feel envy. I am too excited for my own day. And I am too excited to spend less than other people to have said day.

Your wedding = your day, and your way to express yourself. Don’t allow envy to swallow you up, and don’t choose things just because someone you envy did. Be you! The weddings people remember are the ones that are a little different, and that doesn’t mean they were expensive.

Post # 15
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you just have to focus on what you have vs what you don’t have. Sometimes the best things are free. I have an AMAZING FI and if this is all the ring he can give me, then so be it.

Just be the best YOU.

Post # 16
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

@babylou: I do this too.

I’m not really very wedding (dress/rings/size) jealous but home owner/ nice car/ things seem easier for those people jealous… lol

 

@soyjoy222: That happened to me too… I also got engaged in February, I’m slightly jealous they get to have their day sooner but I like having more time to plan and having a perfect date for our honeymoon so the feelings pass.

I’m a little bitter atm that my cousin got engaged last weekend and decided to have her wedding the same day as mine =/ now my family has to pick which one to attend, and we booked our venue in April.

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