Ephesians 5:22…is this still taken seriously?

posted 2 years ago in Christian
  • poll: Do you follow Ephesians 5:22 (wives submit to your husbands)?
    Yes : (99 votes)
    30 %
    No way! : (233 votes)
    70 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m not religious so not sure how my answer will relate to those who are. But I would hope in this day and age NO-ONE would take this too literally. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    I do, and this is my explanation. First off, you get to pick your husband. It’s not like your stuck with some random dude and have to do whatever he says. Much like a company board picks a CEO or people vote for the president, you get to pick who will be the leader of the family. So choose carefully!

    A good leader will listen to his advisors, and a good husband will take his wifes consuel very seriously! But at the end of the day, a family needs a leader, and the husband makes the final decision (we’re assuming big things here, not micro-managing).

    Finally, this is honestly the biggest thing for me, if you have kids submitting to your husband teaches them to respect authority. If you have respect and obey your husband, you teach them to respect and obey both of you.

    This only works if you CHOOSE CAREFULLY and dont choose an abusive or irresponsible husband. You should only marry him if you admire his wisdom and responsibily and decision making skills, and you WANT to follow him.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7131 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Biblical submission looks different from what our secular culture thinks of submission. In secular culture, submission is more about being controlled and is seen as a generally negative thing. Biblical submission is about both husband and wife looking to God, and that the husband is putting both his wife and God before himself. The man is called to lay down his life if necessary for his wife, and the woman is called to submit to prayerful decisions the husband believes to be God’s will. Biblical submission only works when a couple, and especially the husband, is seeking God.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7243 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    LiebeLicht:  but why can’t the wife be the leader? I also take offense that you put CEO as his, sorry but the 1950’s called and they want their sexism back.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    @j_jaye – If that is what works for you and your husband/FI than go for it! Personally I don’t follow this because “the bible says so” I follow it because I know it works for me and from what I’ve observed it works for most people.

    In the relationships I’ve seen where the woman is the leader/more dominant (a few of my friends, I live on the border of Italy!) the woman loses attraction for the man. This really seems to be one-sided, the men don’t seem to be bothered by this dynamic so much. But every woman I know personally who feels like she has to make the big decisions/knows best/etc find this to be a huge turnoff over time.

    Post # 7
    Member
    943 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m a strong feminist and there’s no way I’d be vowing to submit to my husband. If FI’s ‘in charge’ then I think it risks telling future children that they only need to listen to women if they’re supported by a man.

    When I was a church leader,I was told (by some more conservative families) I had no authority to teach from scripture… Because I’m a woman.

    As a Christian, I believe that there needs to be leadership in any unit but we will lead together.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    j_jaye:  sorry i meant to reply to you above, just figuring this out! In a nutshell, its about sex for me! haha Being the leader of my husband would make me less sexually attracted to him. I’m into like “being kidnapped by Conan the Barbarian” sexual fantasies though so I’m definitley into traditional gender roles.

    All that really matters though is that the dynamic you and your husband have works for you both. I definitley think its better if kids grow up with one leader rather than conflict. I know in theory both spouses could be equally the leader and work together to come up with mutual deicison etc etc. However I have never actually seen this in practice.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7243 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    LiebeLicht:  That is fine if you want to believe that but I call bullshit on the losing attraction. If a man can’t love a woman for who she is then he isn’t much of a man and certain not one anyone should follow.

    Also you ignored the fact that you referred to CEO’s as him. That is some sexist thinking right there. Women lead so many profitable companies as CEO’s now days. Why because feminists have fought long and hard for equality. The same equality that allows you to speak your mind as a woman freely. Not long ago you would not have been “allowed” to have an opinion. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    j_jaye:  I didnt refer to the CEO as him. I didnt use any pronouns! I didn’t mean much as a company baord picks a MAN or a country picks a MAN I meant just as organisations pick leaders a family picks a leader. Your family can pick you if you want!

    And I also really haven’t noticed a change in men’s sexual attraction because of roles in a family. I’ve really really only seen this happen to my female friends. The husbands seem as into them as ever. I also don’t think sexual attraction is the same thing as love. My friends still love their husbands very much. They just don’t want to bang them.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  LiebeLicht.
    Post # 12
    Member
    7243 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Cory_loves_this_girl:  I do, and this is my explanation. First off, you get to pick your husband. It’s not like your stuck with some random dude and have to do whatever he says. Much like a company board picks a CEO or people vote for the president, you get to pick who will be the leader of the family. So choose carefully! A good leader will listen to his advisors, and a good husband will take his wifes consuel very seriously! But at the end of the day, a family needs a leader, and the husband makes the final decision (we’re assuming big things here, not micro-managing). 

    Clearly she feels all leaders must be males not just a husband.

    Post # 13
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    j_jaye:  for a feminist you’re really upset at a woman for having her own opinion… Ironic…

    Post # 14
    Member
    6905 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    musicalsteve82:  When I got married (many years ago; I’m here as future MOB) I sort of reluctantly accepted it (the word “submit” was not in our vows), though in practice we decided everything together.

    Now though, I would regard it as cultural. Paul (the author of Ephesians) is saying all relationships should be handled in a Christ-like manner. Since his was a culture where men ruled, he said women should honour their husbands, and that husbands should love and protect their wives. Now culture is different (us having equal rights), so the verse doesn’t apply in the way Paul envisioned it. The gist though – that we should honour and love each other – still holds.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee

    username1014:  I’m pretty sure j_jaye: is objecting to the sexist undertones and reasoning behind LiebeLicht’s arguement rather than objecting to LiebeLicht having an opinion. Just because a woman is making a statement it doesn’t stop the statement being sexist and in many ways women being sexist against women is worse as it allows men to get away with it more because ‘it can’t be sexist, I heard a woman say it once’.

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