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I know it's not the answer you're looking for, but I tried to make an epilator work for MONTHS until I finally gave up. I, too, had lots of ingrown hairs and it didn't always remove hair at the root. I read a lot of tips online but nothing I did made it a successful tool for me. If you want an alternative to shaving, I suggest waxing.
I use an epilator and love it (as much as someone can love pulling hairs out individually by the root). Make sure your hair is the right texture (not too fine) and length (not too long--just long enough for the tweezers to grab on). Sometimes setting it to its highest speed actually helps.
For ingrowns, try a BHA lotion like this one.
I got the Philips one in the spa package by Bliss cosmetics - they sell it at Sephora. It comes with a billion attachments but I wanted the epilator specifically. Oh my sweet cracker sandwich does it HURT!!! What kind are you guys who like yours using? I've tried everything but numbing my skin beforehand, it still feels like hell.
I got one and used it on my arms, and for about a week they were all broken out - maybe the follicles were irritated. Yikes. I tried exfoliating, etc. I didn't have a problem with ingrowns, though.
I want to try again. I'm just scared to, because I run/swim/gym a lot and I had to wear long sleeves for a week.
FI used it on his face the other day, though... I guess he wanted to try something different? But he had no problem, just a little redness the next day.
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I recently got an epilator and I mostly like it...but I'm having some issues. The first time I used it on my legs, I ended up with LOTS of ingrown hairs. I exfoliated a ton after that, and used the epilator again today (a couple of weeks later). My legs still feel prickly in some places, and I think the hair broke off at the skin instead of being pulled out. I'm sure the issue is my technique, although I TRY to go as slowly and smoothly as possible, because the model of epilator I bought had really good reviews.
Does anyone have any tips? I would LOVE to not have to go back to shaving every day, but if I can't master the epilator before summer I will have to. :(