Post # 1
I had hoped to have equal numbers on both sides, but have ended up with one less than my future husband. I have thought about asking my cousin, who is very nice and I think would enjoy being in the wedding, but I am not that close to her. My sister (MOH) is close with and suggested her. I thought I would have the same number, but due to a long story and dissapoining situation with a friend, I do not. I think part of it is I feel bad if I have less than him like I am “less popular” which I know is childish. What did you do? What would you do in my shoes?
Post # 3
I lost a bridesmaid before the wedding (she dropped out) and we were left with uneven numbers.
The photographer was able to come up with great shots where the uneven number was not even noticable
The officiant was able to come up with a solution for the processional/recessional so that nothing looked awkward…..
I would not worry about numbers…. just pick the people that are closest to you and will be there for you on your special day…. don’t ask someone for the sake of numbers…..
Post # 4
I consider my sister a BM even though she is sort of the flower girl. I don’t want kids in my wedding party and she loves flowers, so she is going alone. Everyone else has a partner, most of them married couples!
Post # 5
6 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen. We never gave it a second thought; we just asked our nearest and dearest and Felt happy that they said yes. We had hoped a friend who now lives overseas could come home to stand up on his side, but she couldn’t make it.
I will say that the groomsman who escorted two ladies down the aisle looked pretty badass with two lovely ladies on his arm. 🙂
Post # 6
@beth2507: originally my fiance wanted like 10 or so. I wanted 4 so I got him to pick 4 and the rest are ushers. We are including the ushers just as much as the groomsmen in regards to tuxes, gifts, rehearsal dinner, pictures etc.
Post # 7
You don’t have to be symmetrical.
I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, and she had an unequal number of attendants. One groomsman got to walk me and another girl down the aisle. At another wedding I attended, two bridesmaids were super lucky because they EACH got to walk with two cute groomsmen!
I had ZERO attendants. Saved a bunch of stress and drama.
Post # 8
I guess I need an other option. We have the same number of attendants, but the genders are unequal. I’ve got a Gentleman of Honor and a bridesman while FI has a Best Man and a groomswoman. So three guys and one girl.
Post # 9
@beth2507: We kept it uneven. We really only wanted who meant the most to us up there with us and would rather have uneven numbers than a dishonest wedding party… If that makes sense. Here is how it turned out 🙂
Post # 10
We had one more guy on DH’s side than on mine. He added someone a couple of months before the wedding and it was way to late to ask another BM and get her dress in time. My MOH just got to walk down the aisle with 2 men!
Post # 11
@beth2507: I’m all about equal numbers. I’ve seen pictures of both with and without equal numbers. I personally didn’t like them BUT some people love them. We originally started out saying we wanted 4 on each side. Than one of his GM’s invited himself into the party (mind you my finace wanted him in the party) so that meant 5 people each side and I didn’t like that so we moved it to 6 people each side. I also have people who are close to me and represent different times in my life. Close with all 6 of them. If you are ok with having 1 less than your fiance than rock it! If you want the same number, have a look at people you know and people you’d be comfortable with standing and invite them to stand. I’m sure your cousin would love to stand if you need her to, specially if shes close with your sister. It might be a good way to become close/start a new relationship with her 😀
Post # 12
We had 3 bridesmaids (my sister, BFF, and cousin), and 4 groomsmen (DH’s 2 brothers and 2 BFFs), as well as 2 ushers (my teenage brothers who wore the same suit as the gromsmen) who were also included in a lot of the bridal party photos. I loved how the photos came out! I’m not a fan of symmetry anyway.
Plus, looking back, it feels good that we stuck with our original plan and just had the absolute closest people to us in our bridal party rather than having an additional bridesmaid for the sake of symmetry or tradition or whatever. I thought about asking another girlfriend a few times, panicking about looking like I don’t have any friends. Now I feel like that was incredibly dumb, and am glad I didn’t ask anyone else.
If you’re worried about how it looks for the actual ceremony, I love the idea of having your bridal party sit in the first row and having just you and your partner up there with the minister. Just an idea! 🙂
Post # 13
@beth2507: The numbers don’t matter – the people in your bridal party are those you and your FI have chosen to stand by your side, literally and figuratively, as you start a new chapter in your life. They have supported you and will support you, and your relationship.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
@beth2507: Personally, I would invite the cousin to be a BM.
I had planned on having an equal number, but at the last minute, a GM backed out.
Post # 15
We’ll be having 5 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids – it works out that we’ll both have 3 friends standing up with us, but we had an uneven number of siblings so that’s where our numbers changed. Initially, it did bother me and I thought about asking another friend whom I’m not as close to, but then, after a couple of months of thinking about it, it just felt silly and I had a complete change of heart – so much so that I’m kind of ashamed that I thought about adding someone “just because”. The friends that are standing up with us are friends with both of us equally, and the people we asked are the people we knew wanted with us from the beginning.
After I thought about it, it seemed actually kind of insulting to ask someone to be in the wedding party just to make even numbers – it basically says they’re just a stand in and totally replaceable. I also thought it would undermine my relationship with the people we did ask – what does it mean to be a bridesmaid in the wedding if I’m just going to choose people for the sake of even photos? I don’t fault people for asking someone else to have even numbers, but I think at the end of the day, the relationships with these people matter more than the number of people in photos or how “popular” you’ll look (even if it took me a while to get there myself haha).
Post # 16
@beth2507: my FI just sprung it on me last night that his good friend (who he asked to be in the wedding but declined because he is in the navy) is now able to be in the wedding, not that I have a problem with it but there will be drama at the wedding because my good friend and him used to date and are now broken up (thank goddd)