Equal numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Did you have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?
    Yes! : (20 votes)
    48 %
    No, we had more groomsmen than bridesmaids : (10 votes)
    24 %
    No, we had more bridesmaids than groomsmen : (12 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    852 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

     

    I lost a bridesmaid before the wedding (she dropped out) and we were left with uneven numbers.

    The photographer was able to come up with great shots where the uneven number was not even noticable

    The officiant was able to come up with a solution for the processional/recessional so that nothing looked awkward…..

    I would not worry about numbers…. just pick the people that are closest to you and will be there for you on your special day…. don’t ask someone for the sake of numbers…..

    Post # 4
    Member
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I consider my sister a BM even though she is sort of the flower girl. I don’t want kids in my wedding party and she loves flowers, so she is going alone. Everyone else has a partner, most of them married couples! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    6 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen. We never gave it a second thought; we just asked our nearest and dearest and Felt happy that they said yes. We had hoped a friend who now lives overseas could come home to stand up on his side, but she couldn’t make it.

    I will say that the groomsman who escorted two ladies down the aisle looked pretty badass with two lovely ladies on his arm. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    895 posts
    Busy bee

    @beth2507:  originally my fiance wanted like 10 or so. I wanted 4 so I got him to pick 4 and the rest are ushers. We are including the ushers just as much as the groomsmen in regards to tuxes, gifts, rehearsal dinner, pictures etc.

    Post # 7
    Member
    477 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    You don’t have to be symmetrical. 

    I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, and she had an unequal number of attendants.  One groomsman got to walk me and another girl down the aisle.  At another wedding I attended, two bridesmaids were super lucky because they EACH got to walk with two cute groomsmen!

    I had ZERO attendants.  Saved a bunch of stress and drama.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I guess I need an other option. We have the same number of attendants, but the genders are unequal. I’ve got a Gentleman of Honor and a bridesman while FI has a Best Man and a groomswoman. So three guys and one girl.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1234 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @beth2507:  We kept it uneven. We really only wanted who meant the most to us up there with us and would rather have uneven numbers than a dishonest wedding party… If that makes sense. Here is how it turned out 🙂 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    We had one more guy on DH’s side than on mine.  He added someone a couple of months before the wedding and it was way to late to ask another BM and get her dress in time.  My MOH just got to walk down the aisle with 2 men!

    Post # 11
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @beth2507:  I’m all about equal numbers. I’ve seen pictures of both with and without equal numbers. I personally didn’t like them BUT some people love them. We originally started out saying we wanted 4 on each side. Than one of his GM’s invited himself into the party (mind you my finace wanted him in the party) so that meant 5 people each side and I didn’t like that so we moved it to 6 people each side. I also have people who are close to me and represent different times in my life. Close with all 6 of them. If you are ok with having 1 less than your fiance than rock it! If you want the same number, have a look at people you know and people you’d be comfortable with standing and invite them to stand. I’m sure your cousin would love to stand if you need her to, specially if shes close with your sister. It might be a good way to become close/start a new relationship with her 😀

    Post # 12
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We had 3 bridesmaids (my sister, BFF, and cousin), and 4 groomsmen (DH’s 2 brothers and 2 BFFs), as well as 2 ushers (my teenage brothers who wore the same suit as the gromsmen) who were also included in a lot of the bridal party photos. I loved how the photos came out! I’m not a fan of symmetry anyway.

    Plus, looking back, it feels good that we stuck with our original plan and just had the absolute closest people to us in our bridal party rather than having an additional bridesmaid for the sake of symmetry or tradition or whatever. I thought about asking another girlfriend a few times, panicking about looking like I don’t have any friends. Now I feel like that was incredibly dumb, and am glad I didn’t ask anyone else.

    If you’re worried about how it looks for the actual ceremony, I love the idea of having your bridal party sit in the first row and having just you and your partner up there with the minister. Just an idea! 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @beth2507:   The numbers don’t matter – the people in your bridal party are those you and your FI have chosen to stand by your side, literally and figuratively, as you start a new chapter in your life.  They have supported you and will support you, and your relationship.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

    @beth2507:  Personally, I would invite the cousin to be a BM. 

    I had planned on having an equal number, but at the last minute, a GM backed out. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We’ll be having 5 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids – it works out that we’ll both have 3 friends standing up with us, but we had an uneven number of siblings so that’s where our numbers changed. Initially, it did bother me and I thought about asking another friend whom I’m not as close to, but then, after a couple of months of thinking about it, it just felt silly and I had a complete change of heart – so much so that I’m kind of ashamed that I thought about adding someone “just because”. The friends that are standing up with us are friends with both of us equally, and the people we asked are the people we knew wanted with us from the beginning.

    After I thought about it, it seemed actually kind of insulting to ask someone to be in the wedding party just to make even numbers – it basically says they’re just a stand in and totally replaceable. I also thought it would undermine my relationship with the people we did ask – what does it mean to be a bridesmaid in the wedding if I’m just going to choose people for the sake of even photos? I don’t fault people for asking someone else to have even numbers, but I think at the end of the day, the relationships with these people matter more than the number of people in photos or how “popular” you’ll look (even if it took me a while to get there myself haha).

    Post # 16
    Member
    682 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @beth2507:  my FI just sprung it on me last night that his good friend (who he asked to be in the wedding but declined because he is in the navy) is now able to be in the wedding, not that I have a problem with it but there will be drama at the wedding because my good friend and him used to date and are now broken up (thank goddd) 

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