(Closed) Ergh, Best friend says we are all idiots….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
12878 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Does this change your opinion of having her as your MOH?  If it does, I’d tell her flat-out how this made you feel and that you don’t know if you can have her support you on your wedding day.  If it doesn’t, though, I might ignore it and chalk it up to her seemingly very tough time. 

Sorry you have to deal with this!

Post # 5
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Hostestly, we are! If we only have about 50 procent of making it, normally we would not choose to make such an commitment in life. It was a bit rude of her but i wouldn’t think about it too much especially since you are not engaged so she doesn’t know you are waiting to get engaged.

Post # 7
8359 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well it is her opinion and frankly if we can’t tell our friends what we really think and not feel that we will be judged for it then then are not really our friends.

She was drinking so the delivery of her opinion was probably not the best but at the end of the day I think the important thing to remember was that she was happy when you talked earlier about her being the maid of honour at your wedding. At the end of the day she seems willing to put her general feelings on weddings aside to support her friend and I think that is all you can ask.

Post # 9
3183 posts
Sugar bee

I think she is just hurting. She was mean about it but with a clear head and a few months, she should hopefully feel different. It’s like on the Sex in the City movie where Miranda told Big that Big and Carrie were making the biggest mistakes of their lives.

Post # 10
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MissLittleChicken:  She was talking out of her own pain. She’s definitely still hurting from her own situation but that doesn’t excuse her comment. Honestly if one of my best friends said that to me I would call them out or shut them down on the spot because that was rude and just because someone wants to get married doesn’t make them an effing idiot…wtf. That was very consescending and just because someone is hurting doesn’t mean they can say any old thing to everybody…it’s called self control.

Post # 11
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Clearly she is hurting. Not that it was okay for her to say but cut her some slack.  It’s not really problematic at the moment since you’re not even engaged yet. Might have been a bit different if you were actively planning your wedding, but I’d just let it rest for now.

Post # 12
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Aw, I’m sorry she was snarky and bitchy. It’s never any fun when people take out there frustrations on those they love. But it happens to the best of us. At least you realize this is just her misdirected anger over her own relationship. It will likely get better with time. But sucks that you are dealing with it now.

Post # 13
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

I can understand why it hurt your feelings, but I think it is far deeper than just a random opinion.  She was engaged just a few months ago so she believed in engagements and weddings not that long ago.

Has she always been the kind of friend who will just come up with random opinions and not give a rip about hour feelings?  Is this her norm or is this something you haven’t seen before?


In all honesty, I really think it is the hurt talking.  Let it go and keep your ears open to other things like this she says.   Then you can take her to lunch, tell her you are very concerned for her based on these things and ask her what you can do to help her.  Of course, no wedding talk.  I think she is just angry and hurting and you got the brunt of it.

Post # 14
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@MissLittleChicken:  She sounds like a crappy friend. Have you ever addressed this issue with her? I personally would let someone say those kinds of things to me, much less a friend. People don’t get free passes to be rude just because they’re having a hard time.

Post # 16
3372 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It sounds like she’s feeling very hurt and bitter and twisted right now from her past failed engagement. Who can blame her, really. But I wouldn’t take harsh words spoken after a few too many beverages too seriously. Just let her blow off steam and move on. Hopefully, she’ll be in a happier and better place by the time you do get engaged and married. Most of us have had similar moments of cynicism, I think, and gotten over it.

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