(Closed) eRing Advice-How not to be presumptuous when asked for input…?

posted 9 years ago in South East Asian
Post # 3
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I asked him what budget I should be looking in then found rings I loved from a few hundred dollars all the way up to the budget that he said.  I haven’t gotten it yet and I’m very curious to see what he’ll end up purchasing.



Post # 6
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe just let him know the diamond size you’re okay with? Just explain that they always show big diamonds in the rings so you weren’t lookng at that, just the settings?

Post # 7
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel

Oooh, how exciting, congrats!  Perhaps if you send him pictures that happen to have a huge stone, you can point out the particular of the style that you like, rather than the fact that it’s a big rock.  Such as "I love how this ring has two side stones", etc. Good luck!

Post # 8
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh that’s so sweet of you to worry about being presumptuous! I think you should go ahead and send all the pics he’s asked for. It’ll help him in the long run and he’s already assured you that you’re not being presumptuous If you’re worried about the stone size, you could pick something that you think he’d be comfortable with financially or send him a couple of different rings w/ different stone sizes that you like.

Have you gone to try on any rings? The reason I ask is because originally I thought I wanted a certain carat size and it turned out to look ridiculous on my small hands, so that is something you might want to do before sending him all the info. 


Post # 9
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I would just send a few pictures of settings you love and write that and then maybe a few with the shape of diamond you prefer and not even worry about the size of the rock in the pictures include…You’re just sending him ideas, most pictures are of rediculous-sized diamonds anyways so I doubt he’s going to think you expect a 4 carat monster or anythingv when you include pictures of rings you like…SOOO exciting, you have to post a pic when you get it!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I agree with wheresmydessert – when you send the pictures, just point out why you like it – the shape of the diamond, the setting, the metal, etc. You might mention to him that size doesn’t matter as much as _______ (color, clarity, setting, whatever). Or if size is important (and it’s okay if it is!) say you’d prefer it be bigger than he spend a lot of money on the setting or side stones or whatever.

Post # 11
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

When my husband was deployed, I sent him pictures of rings I liked and told him that he could find them in smaller or larger versions, depending on his budget. I didn’t want to know his budget, but he actually told me he didn’t have one and would just kind of wing it. I told him to spend what he felt comfortable spending

Often, I could just get a picture of the setting without any particular center stone in it!

 Keep in mind, that since he’s deployed, his income is all TAX FREE! So depending on his rank (E vs O anyways), he might be willing to spend a little more than you think. 

The big Q is, do you prefer a bigger center stone or bigger setting? My setting is actually mroe carat weight than my center stone, but I love the different stone cuts and variety.

Go try some on and see what you like. Look at the price tag, and ask yourself if you think it’s too much (since you probably know his salary) or if you’re uncomfortable with it.

And, if he cant afford anything too big, it’s ok to get the setting you want, with a smaller stone, and upgrade to something more substantial later if you want, say a 1.5 carat and he can’t spend 15K on a ring.

ALSO, there are military px shops (not sure where) that sell diamonds FOR soldiers. I’m not sure if it’s a px or what it is. The biggest they sell is typically 1 carat, but there’s no tax on it and it’s a damn good price. He may not be aware of that resource and you could get a good center stone ther,e then a setting later. 

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