Post # 1
So yesterday FH and I went and registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond and Macy’s. Since we have been together 11 years and lived together 5 – we obviously have accumulated quite a bit of stuff. FH loves kitchen gadgets so he had fun finding little things here and there and we did register for sheets and towels since it’s something we can always use extra of but…
As I am looking at our registries today I realize that we don’t need/want 12 expensive china settings, that Waterford crystal vase and I am pretty sure that our family is not going to be impressed with the $3.99 spatula that we registered for. I have looked at the amazon registry but am not sure that all of our guests are “online shoppers”.
I do plan on having a total of 3 places – 2 stores for gifts and a 3rd for people to donate to a charity to give guests options.
Have any of you ladies had “registry remorse” – where you second guess the stuff you registered for? Or felt like you were registering for the sake of registering?
We know that we will not “ask” for money but we would LOVE to save for a home – which is truly the only thing we are lacking. What do you do when you are an “established” couple?
Post # 3
First off, tell all of your family members and friends that you are comfortable telling, that if anyone asks, that they should mention that money is always a great idea. I am my SIL’s MOH and can honestly say I’ve had at least 10 people ask what they “really” want for their wedding. They aren’t an established couple, so they do need everything, but I would have no problem telling them “well, they’re trying to save for a house, so money would probably be the biggest help” if the couple had asked me to do so.
Next, I would take anything that you don’t actually want off of the registery. If you wouldn’t buy something yourself (if money was no object) because you weren’t really into it, what makes you think you’ll like it better just because someone else bought it for you?
There were lots of things that I wish we hadn’t registered for, and others that we didn’t, yet I wish we had. Go through your registeries a couple of times and really think about what you want/need, then go from there.
Post # 4
We are an established couple, have been together for 4 years, lived together for 2, and recently bought out first house. We have had a very tough time creating registries. I was worried about prices, and things I “should” have, like crystal and fancy frames and a million kitchen gadgets. I’ve since gotten over that and deleted crystal, silver frames, and many of the other fancy registry “necessities.” If I don’t care about them and wouldn’t buy them on my own, they’re just going to feel like clutter to me!
Being an established couple also meant that the things we want are upgrades, and more expensive – Creuset cookware, nice knives, etc. I found myself not adding the things I wanted for fear my registry would be too expensive. I got over it and figured that people could buy gift cards if the cheaper items are taken.
I would recommend you go through your registry and only register for things you want. Otherwise it’s going to be a big pain to return things, and people will wonder why the expensive crystal vase they bought off your registry isn’t displayed in your house
Post # 5
DH and i registered for things we needed (towels, sheets) and things we wanted (kitchen aid! i got two haha)- we both had our own places so we were set on almost everything. We kept our registry small (hoping for cash) we made out good on both though. im trying to think what we registered for:
a nice shower head
a new duvet
some placemats i liked
but we tried not to go crazy because we were hoping for $$$ – not proper etiquitte i know but i didnt voice it outloud – i thin we registered for a total of 25 things -and probably got 15 of them
Post # 6
I agree about word of mouth for some people.
If you dont want china, dont get it.
dont feel bad about the 3.99 spatula. I have found these small items go quick because people buy several of them. So get more or upgrade measuring cups, cast iron skillet, the collapsable strainer etc.
Also think a little outside the box even within your traditional registries. Like a great stainless steel garbage can, new shower curtain and toothbrush holder, electric toothbrushes.
If you go for something like Target you could look into grills, camping equipment, gardneing stuff etc.
Just a few ideas
Post # 7
another bride suggested a “wishing well” online for me as I too am more established. You could easily put a note that you two are saving for a home, I think guests would be more open to giving cash if they knew you had a goal.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
Someone also suggested Honeyfund at one point, which is a website where you register for a monetary amount for something specific for your honeymoon. Even though your guest gives you $100, they register on Honeyfund for a $100 for a spa treatment; that way when you write a thank you card, you can tell them about the spa treatment. I know it’s not exactly the same concept, but if you want $, it could be a way to incorporate it. FI and I are in a similar situation, but haven’t started on our registry yet.
Post # 9
We are established, and we still were able to only register for things we really wanted (we don’t NEED anything, and made that clear to everyone and offered a charitable donation option as well). We’ve gotten some board games, upgraded some camping equipment, gotten a $30 camp sink that I’ve always wanted and just never bought myself, some NICE flatware, a lovely high end vase, some nambe picture frames that I would have NEVER bought myself.
We are inviting an older crowd, and I will say that 80 percent of our guests have bought from our amazon.com registry, so don’t discount that.
Go back through your registries and remove things you don’t want, and then just enjoy the process.
Post # 10
We, too, are an established couple (been together 6 years, lived together for 5 ½). We have everything that we need/want but we’re still registering for upgrades on a few items (and the Dyson that I haven’t been able to bring myself to buy). I definitely feel like we’re registering for the sake of registering but there are things that we could use, just don’t necessarily need. Like you, I don’t think our families will be impressed with the $12.99 Pyrex dish that I want to replace the one I shattered into a million pieces.
I know this is highly regional but in my area the gift registries are only used for the shower and pre-wedding parties (most couples actually make the completion date the shower date, not the wedding date). 99% of guests give monetary gifts for the actual wedding, which we’re secretly hoping for.
Post # 11
We were established (had stuff from 2 different households) and only registered for the stuff we really wanted. We took off the china (we weren’t sure we wanted it), but were sure we wanted really great pots and pans, knives, vacuum…. there were no towels, sheets on our registries – but we did have the random gadgets. I did take stuff off that was less than $5 that didn’t make sense (like who would really get it) but I don’t see any reason why you can’t keep it on there!
There were some things we ended up taking back (wasn’t our plan, but DH decided against some things he originally thought he wanted).
I was surprised with how many people gave us cash gifts instead of presents. My advice is to just register for what you really want/need, and leave the rest up to the discretion of the guest.