Post # 1
You always give the best advice and my emotions are too involved with this situation to see it objectively. So, I am hoping you all can help.
My sister and I haven’t had any contact at all for about six months. There are several reasons but the main one she references was that she thinks the way I eat (non-vegan) is killing me and the environment. She is a vegan and doesn’t have too much tolerance for other ways of life. She said she could not continue a relationship with me, my husband, or our mom because of our eating choices.
Anyway, for her graduation from college (before this all went down) I gifted my sister a road trip to be taken with me, her, and my mom. I asked her several times prior to the estrangement when she wanted to go but she never committed to a time.
Fast forward to today, she contacts me (out of the blue) tells me she and her boyfriend are taking a road trip and she wants my husband and I to finance it as her graduation present.
My immediate reaction was, “Heck no!” but I wanted to get some additional, impartial feedback. My point of view was that the gift was an experience, not just cash. She now just wants the cash.
So, bees. What do you think? What should I do?
Post # 3
wow! she has some nerve! I would definetely not fork over the cash for her and her boyfriend to have a road trip. I agree that your gift was the experience between you, her, and her mom. I would advise her that you cannot contribute to their road trip, but your offer for the trip including your mom still stands. =)
Post # 5
This wasn’t an option but HELL NO! She has a lot of damn nerve too. Tell her that you dip all of your cash in meat juices so she wouldn’t want it…ROFL.
Post # 6
Since you have not given a gift I would maybe offer to call ahead and pay for a dinner at a restaurant of your choosing at a stopping point along the way.
But really I would remind them that it was meant as a way for you two to spend time together so maybe say you will meet up with them for a send off dinner at a restaurant of their choosing or on their way back.
Post # 7
Post # 8
Well, for someone who bases her lifestyle choices on compassion, she doesn’t sound like she practices what she preaches! I’m vegan myself, and you can’t force it on other people, or be mad that they don’t share your feelings!
I would not give her the money. It sounds like the point of the road trip was to have an experience together. She’s asking you to now fund the trip, and you won’t even be there!
I would say if she wants to take the trip now, as originally planned with you and your mother, take her. Otherwise, heck no!
Post # 9
No way. I would maybe offer to take her and her Boyfriend or Best Friend out to dinner with your mom as a send off. But no way in hell I’d pay for the trip for them when it was meant for her to go with you and your mother.
Post # 10
Wow. So your lifestyle is so offensive that she can’t speak to you, but your money is still a-okay? No, no, no.
If I invited you to dinner for your birthday, would you think it was appropriate to ask me for cash so you could go out with your Fiance instead? No, that would be bananas. Your sister is being bananas.
Post # 11
Who does she think she is?! Offering to pay while you do something as a family is WAY different than her wanting to do something with her flavor-of-the-week.
Post # 12
Also ask yourself – what would she do if your positions were reversed? If you’re not good enough to talk to just because your food choices are different, why is your money worth so much more?
Post # 14
Psh. Send her a $20 gas gift card – at MOST. Lol. That is just nuts to me. If my brothers did that after not talking to me because of a personal choice I’d laugh in their faces! I voted “Heck No” but I was thinking “Bitch wants WHATTT???” Lol.
Post # 15
I’d give it to her if she would eat a bacon-wrapped steak. The whole thing.
Post # 16
I don’t think it is reasonable of her to ask to substitute cash for your original offer. If she doesn’t want to go on a road trip with you and your mother, fine. But that doesn’t mean she can specify an alternative gift.
I would not want to ignore her graduation entirely though, as one day she will likely want to rebuild the relationship with her family. I would offer to take them out to dinner at the vegan restaurant of their choice or find out their proposed route and buy them a gift card or gift vertificate for a vegan restaurant on their route.