(Closed) Ethical Dilemma – What Would You Do?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2759 posts
Sugar bee

That’s tough. I’d say if your FI does not want to tell the guy then you two should at the very least refuse to cover for her. I cannot believe the nerve of her to let this poor guy PAY for an expensive vacation for her and her best friend and then spend a month away testing out some guy she met on the vacation he paid for? That’s just… sickening.

Post # 4
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldn’t cover for her.  If he asks you, tell him the truth.  How awful for the boyfriend.

Post # 5
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think I’d tell her bf what was going on but I also wouldn’t lie for her. Just because it’s my sibling doesn’t mean I’m going to help them treat other people like sh*t.

Post # 6
2061 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s a horrible thing for your FSIL to do to her BF and to you & your FI! That being said, I would not tell her boyfriend.  You will have the rest of your life to spend with FSIL – This would start your marriage on a super rocky foundation with her.  

I would tell her you are not lying for her. If her BF calls, just say she is not there.  If the BF starts grilling you or FI, tell him to ask his girlfriend what’s up.

Post # 7
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

She can cover her own tracks, I’d just stay out of it.  The only person I would probably talk to about this is your FSIL, and tell her how she’s being a total skank.  Does the new guy know she has a BF?  If he does, he’s a total douchebag and I say let her be with him and leave her to her own fate. 

Post # 8
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t have any real advice for you, but my German isn’t bad if you want help translating a message. Just PM me if you decide you want to take that course of action and need help.


Post # 9
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Well, at least you have an ‘out’ by not speaking German very well…you don’t have to do any of the actual lying. I’m sure you’ll still feel awful about it, though…I’d let your FI know again that you don’t want any part of it. How will this make you feel about your FI if he does all this lying? I know I get hella frustrated with my FI whenever he does something I think isn’t on the up-and-up…not lying, but complaining about things that other people do that HE has also done. I let him know, too! I’d let your FI know that it will make you upset at HIM for lying.

I don’t see this working out anyway…it’s like something out of a movie, and remember, in the movies, somebody ALWAYS finds out the truth!

Post # 10
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I wouldn’t lie for her but I wouldn’t rat her out either. 

Post # 11
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LGenz:  +1

Honesty will be your best policy here. Don’t go out of your way to get involved, but don’t cover for her. And I would definitely tell her she’s doing a really shitty thing, too.

Post # 14
1895 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would tell the her that your not going to lie. BUT I wouldnt go out of my way to tell him either. This is going to be your sister in law, you dont wanna cause drrama with her, ya know. 


But you could always sit her down and try to talk to sense into her!

Post # 15
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

That is so awful. I wouldn’t lie for her but I wouldn’t tell on her either, she is family and no matter how dispicable I think her actions are I wouldn’t want to ruin the family dynamic.

Post # 16
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Tibbs:  Wow that’s awful!! This girl is a piece of work.

If you can’t convince your FI not to cover for her, I would just try to stay out of it as much as you can. Like don’t do any lying yourself.

I would be so tempted to tell her bf everything… but you don’t want to upset your fiance… and it would suck for your FSIL to hate you forever because of this.

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