Post # 1
My fiance and i cancelled our wedding, but not our relationship, about two months ago, because we just couldnt afford to have a wedding AND buy a house. and we absolutely didnt want to wait til 2015 for a number of reasons that are important to us. but ultimately, we didnt want to get married until we had our own house (we are currently living separately) Which is looking further and further away. Which could mean that we very well end up getting married in 2015.
And if we did wait, his father said he could help us with the wedding. which then makes a wedding maybe possible. i dont know. im trying not to pretend its possible, cause i cant handle my little heart breaking over it again.
Anyways, this brings me to my point.
During the time i was still actively planning my wedding, my FSIL was my matron of honor, and couldnt have seemed less interested, or less involved. in fact, after the first month or two, she practically stopped talking to me about most things, even beyond the wedding. and one of my other bridesmaids has slowly drifted out of my life.
IF my fiance and i get the opportunity to have a wedding, and start planning again, do I have to go back to my original bridal party? with my friend, i feel less confused, because she’s slowly drifted away. but with my FSIL? she seemed like she didnt care, and didnt want to be involved, except for the initial excitement when i asked her to be my MOH.
i hope that makes sense. most of the things in my head hardly make any sense anyways.
Post # 3
@futuremrswood25: I don’t know. I want to say that it’s a new wedding so you don’t have to – but others may disagree. That’s a tricky one.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
@MsGinkgo: Agree, it’s tricky. I’d say there’s no etiquette that says you have to use the same party. I think the issue is, do you want to deal with a fussy friend and/or FSIL if you decide to switch them out. Best of luck with the home buying and wedding!!!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)
I don’t think you have to. Maybe keep FSIL but not as MOH? i definitely don’t think you need to keep the friend in the party.
Post # 6
I think the timeline matters. If you start planning a wedding again this year for a wedding next year, I would be miffed to no longer be in the party!
But if you start planning in 2014/2015 for a 2016 wedding, I think that’s totally different!
Post # 7
what if you decided to not have any people in your briday party? Like just you, your FI, and the officiant standing up there. This way it doesn’t seem like you’re snubbing anyone, you just decided to simplify! Also, it seems like your previous bridal party was totally uninterested in helping you out, so just get rid of all of that stress in one fell swoop.
I say that because if I were in your situation, I would just forgo any bridesmaids and groomsmen. You can use the excuse that its logistically easier and cheaper (not having to choose dresses, buy them, etc) 🙂
If you have replacement bridalparty members in mind though, I’mnot sure. That could be a tricky situation.
Post # 8
I was engaged once before and we called off the engagement, after having chosen the bridal party. I did not choose the same people second time around. Some people are the same, but a few friends are not in it any more. I don’t think you need to keep people. Obviously I would still ask his sister, but if you and your friend drifted, I wouldn’t think so. Think if you’re still close enough that you’d want her at the wedding.
Post # 9
I agree with @ladybrick:. Just don’t have a wedding party!
Post # 10
I am a huge advocate of NOT having a bridal party. You bypass so much stress, hurt feelings, logistical planning, and other uneccessary worries.
We didn’t have a bridal party for our wedding, and our friends were there at our wedding just the same — only with no responsibilities, complaining, or special outfits. It was easily one of the best wedding-related decisions we made, and I can’t imagine doing it any other way.