Etiquette advice about bridal shower drama needed…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@sweet5k:  You’re not going to like this answer, but it’s not really up to you who gives you a shower.  The point to wedding showers is that a group of people wants to get together and shower you with gifts and good wishes.  Rather than seeing it as a chore, think of it as a good thing and be gracious about it. 

I had 3 separate showers: my family/female cousins, a work shower with girls from various departments, and the one my MoH threw (included both moms, all sisters, and friends).  Yes, it was alot of fuss, but very nice in the end.

Post # 6
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@sweet5k:  that’s why most showers are surprises.  Most brides don’t want a big fuss, but again, it’s not up to you.  That sucks that you have so little time off, but in my opinion, your FMIL throwing you a shower trumps other people’s weddings at which you will be just an invited guest (Not in the wedding party).  She’s planning a party to celebrate YOU and your upcoming wedding.  That’s a pretty big deal.

Post # 7
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I agree with PP. You need to stop looking at this like a problem, be gracious, and go with the flow.  If you have to miss a wedding or take an unpaid day so be it. There are worse problems in life then too many people wanting to give you presents. This is harsh love but you are the one making a blessing drama.

Post # 8
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sweet5k:  Can you compromise and just come for the 5th and 6th of July?  That would at least deal with the vacation issues.

Though, honestly, I would have your fiance advocate for you. 12 hours of travel is too far for a surprise bridal shower you don’t want. 

Post # 9
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@sweet5k:  I just realized that you posted this 3 weeks ago in another category.  If you’ve been this upset about it for almost a month, I don’t think anything we tell you here will make a difference.

Post # 10
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you’re not there for the 4th of July, she can’t have the shower. Problem solved. Just tell them you can’t get the time off from work.

Post # 11
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

…… Since when are showers supposed to be surprises? If you don’t want a shower say ” thanks, but no” and leave it at that. 

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