Post # 1
Need some input on the wording of our invites… Everything in the wedding is pretty low-key, but we want to somewhat properly acknowledge our parents in the invites. We want to do something like this: “Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Doe together with Mr. & Mrs. Michael and Jennifer Smith request the honor of your presence…”
The problem is that my dad is a Junior and he consistently uses it, so I need to work that in. I’m also way too much of a feminist to not put my mom’s full name on the invite too. So, how do I word it?
Most online resources are stuck in the stone age and they all say it should read: “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, Jr.”
Right now, my mock-up reads: “Mr. & Mrs. John Jr. and Jane Doe.”
Admittedly, that looks a little weird, but the only other options I can think of are weirder:
“Mr. & Mrs John and Jane Doe, Jr.?” My mom’s not a jr and the two of them together are not a jr, so it’s grammatically inaccurate and it’s also applying his identity to her name.
“Mr. John Doe Jr. & Mrs. Jane Doe?” They wouldn’t like that because it separates them from one another and it looks weird too.
I can’t think of any other alternatives. And it’s SO depressing that all the guides on this are still so antiquated! 😛 I’d appreciate any thoughts or ideas! Thanks.
Post # 2
Ask your parents what they think works best.
But I think this is one of those cases where it’s easiest to drop the “junior”. Anything else is either clumsy, sexist, or gives the impression that your parents are separated.
p.s. In fact for our wedding we dropped the titles entirely, “John and Jane Smith, together with David and Sue Doe…” It might be easier to drop the “junior” if you’re also dropping the “Mister”.
Post # 3
We did the lady’s name first, on all the addressing, i.e. Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith, Jr. We have many couples with 2 different last names/2 lines on envelope.
After the save the dates were mailed, one of my daughter’s friends very curtly told her that they were Mr. and Mrs. James Jones, Jr., so they were the only exception to the addressing, for the invitations. And so far we’ve gotten back one e-mail RSVP with a Mr. and Mrs. His1stname Theirlastname, so we will use that on their escort card.
Post # 4
Would “Together with their parents, Greensneakers and Redsneakers…” be possible? That’s what we’re going for even on quite formal invitations.
Post # 5
If your mom is on board, this is one time I’d go old school and use Mr. And Mrs. John Smith, Jr.
Post # 6
greensneakers: My invitations person is very old school, but when I insisted on including my mother’s first name, she said that the wife’s name goes first. So, it would be Mrs. & Mr. Jane and John Doe, Jr. I think that looks better visually than the other ways you mentioned.
In fact, I took it a step further with mine and am going to order without the Mr. and Mrs. It will be just Jane and John Doe. It is a formal event, but I don’t like titles so I am putting my foot down there. I also am including “Son of Michael and Jennifer Smith” after my FI’s name, even though they are not paying for any part of the reception.
Post # 7
Wow, thanks for all the great input! I think I’ll take some of these ideas and ask my parents what they would prefer.
Pixel8, I was totally all about that, but Redsneakers wanted to acknowledge our folks by name.
Who knew addressing people would be one of the more stressful things?!
Post # 8
greensneakers: I can understand both redsneakers preference and also your reaction :)<br /><br /> I have to be honest, it’s one of the strangest thing about wedding planning. It’s not even just the views of parents and partners – but even friends who you’ve hosted for years at parties. Who knew they would all suddenly have a super strong views about chairs, invitation wording or the wine you’re thinking of serving? I certainly didn’t 😛 <br /><br />Hope the stress stays minimal and you both will enjoy the wedding planning where possible! 😀
Post # 9
Why name them at all? We just did “Together with their parents, Myself anf My husband invite you…”