Where to find a list of Bees and blogs?
more by flbeachbride
How important is a "grand exit"?
Do you ever feel competitive about your wedding?
more in Etiquette
Grrrrr
"Send off" Idea: Glowsticks!
more in Boards
Favorite DIY/Craft books?

Etiquette and standard for Vendor tipping

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  •  
    1.
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    flbeachbride    May 2009   Florida

    Hi bees,

    I know there are probably posts surrounding this; I found one in a NY board, but would like the general opinion and appreciate any feedback you gals may have.

    What is the general etiquette surrounding vendor tipping?  Is it mandatory that you tip every vendor?  For example, our cake was included with our catering quote, but is being delivered from a bakery where I already paid a delivery fee.  Do I need to tip them?  What about the DJ and Videographer who are included with the Photography package?  How do you guage who to tip? 

    Also, how much is standard per vendor?  Obviously in a restaurant you would tip 15%-20% as a minimum, but for our catering package that comes out to an extra $1000.  I know this is supposed to be a token of gratitude for service, but between servers and chefs and bartender we are having 5-6 individuals solely for the food.  I am in no way trying to short someone of hard-earned money, but am uncertain how to guage in this situation.  Can you all offer some insight?  Thanks!

     
    2.
    Member
    770 posts
    Busy bee
     
    3.
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    mrstye    11/9/08   Washington, DC

    I looked all around for information on this, and it really varied.  A lot of places say to tip "whoever you feel goes above and beyond."  However, since I don't normall carry around suitcases of cash, I kinda already needed to know what the plan was.

    In the end, I definitely tipped anyone working for someone else.  This meant the catering staff and limo/shuttle driver, off the top of my head.  I also tipped the band (we booked them through an agent, so they didn't receive the full fee) and the solo guitarist, just because I felt like those were the types of vendors that should be tipped. I tipped my WC, although that one was tough, b/c she'd just bought the company (although I expect she shared it w/ the two assistants that worked on the day).  I didn't tip photog or florist, b/c both work for themselves.  I also didn't tip delivery people, although I saw that one mentioned a lot (my WC said she'd never seen people do it).  I didn't tip my site coordinator, since she did very little (a few emails back and forth, really).  Tipped the make-up artist/hairstylist the standard 20%.

    For amounts, I generally did 20%.  Keep in mind that for the catering staff, they are generally paid very little. I tipped before that day, and they were actually awesome ... maybe b/c the tip was generous?  For the WC, I think I did a few hundred dollars.  I think I did $25 per band member, and 20% for the soloist. 

     
    4.
    Hostess
    2,606 posts
    Sugar bee
    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    I didn't tip any of my vendors.

    The catering was part of our venue and gratuity was calculated into the fee (18% of the cost, which was distributed amongst all the staff- bar tenders, chefs, servers, etc).

    The DJ was self-employed, thus the fee went directly to her- no need to tip.  If she was working for a company as an employee I probably would have tipped her.

    I paid a delivery fee for the cake- didn't even think to tip (plus I wasn't there when the cake was delivered, I was getting married).

    We didn't have a florist.

    Similar to the DJ, the DoC was the owner of her own business, so I didn't tip her.

     

    Oh-  MrsTye's comment about 'going above and beyond' made me think-

    I LOVED my DJ and DoC.  While I didn't tip them, I wrote positively glowing reviews of them here on Weddingbee and over on The Knot and Weddingwire.

    Given that my DoC has already gotten a couple of jobs thanks to my reviews, I think that was a better 'tip' than cash!

     

     
    5.
    Hostess
    2,252 posts
    Buzzing bee
    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    Hi flbeachbride,

    The "related posts" under your post all have some great insights about who to tip and how much to tip them.

    It is certainly not mandatory that you tip every vendor. There is some agreement that you do not need to tip someone who owns their own business (unless you want to). That's probably true of your photographer, florist, bakery, DJ, videographer, etc. Similarly, there is some agreement that if you have already paid a delivery fee or a gratuity that you do not need to tip. So if there is an 18% gratuity charge in your catering contract (there probably is), you do not need to tip the caterers, bartenders, servers, etc. because they are all included therein (check on this though). For the bakery, if they're charging you a cake delivery fee then I think you don't need to tip them for bringing it---it's not like they are doing a favor to you for bringing it. 

    At my wedding I did not tip anyone except for the hair and makeup people, which I think is customary, and they got a 15% to 20% tip. If someone is in business for themselves, then I trust that they have set their work at the price that it's worth. If they are truly exceptional I would give them a tip, but it would have had to have been really something out of the ordinary. Like if there was a snowstorm and your bakery still delivered your cake in the middle of a blizzard when the power was out everywhere in town, then I would say a tip is in order. Bonus points if it happens on the beach in Florida :)

    What do you all think? Who should you definitely tip?

    My only votes so far go for hair and makeup people and limo drivers (lol, even though I didn't tip my limo driver because he gave us a hassle about leaving on time, even though we had contracted him for 3 hours he wanted to cut us off halfway and go pick up another fare).

     
    6.
    Member Icon
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    kmlee    4/25/2009   NYC

    Related question - WHEN do you tip these people - beginning of reception, end of reception, the next day?? Am I supposed to prepare envelopes with money to distribute? I am having an open bar all night and know the drinkers will be tipping generously which means I don't have to tip the bartenders, right?

     
    7.
    Hostess
    2,252 posts
    Buzzing bee
    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    I think you would tip them at the end of the night with money in an envelope. I would assign someone else to do it because you will be busy!

    Tipping the bartenders is up to you. If they are getting a gratuity through the catering contract, and you think other drinkers will be tipping them, I don't think it is necessary. It's up to you though.

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    HWS      

    If your vendor owns the company, tip isn't necessary - unless you feel the vendor went out-of-the-way to do everything for you. It is your discretion. I do agree with rosychicklet that vendor-owners would appreciate good reviews and referrals - maybe even more than monetary tip.

    Tip only to those vendors who you think deserve it. Don't feel oblige.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ticatica 14
    fivemonthsnotice 12
    MrsOliveBird 11
    aussiebee 11
    pinkandsparkly 10
    Lyndzo 10
    countrygirl62312 8
    Rivendeler 8
    janetsnakehole 8
    Scottish_lassie 7

    Etiquette

    User Posts Today
    simpleandchic 2
    pinkandsparkly 1
    MrsOliveBird 1
    Myrnac13 1
    More