Post # 1
Wanted to get your take on this. My fiance’s mother and father are divorced. His father is engaged (has been for 12 years to the same woman, since my fi was 18) and he regards her as a ‘stepmom’ of sorts. She is also the one planning and putting on the rehearsal dinner (with his dad). His mom is re-partnered but they are not engaged or married and he is just kinda absent I havent even met him.
So we did this:
My parents(married) invite you to marriage of
Ok so you can imagine because I am writing this and who writes a post about some great outcome that happened? Welp, we did probably NOT do the right thing as she is very upset and emailed my mother about this and how she is an “afterthought” and didnt want the stepmom on the invite.
I should probably add that the first time the divorced parents will see eachother in 12 years is at my wedding.
SO, did I do the wrong thing? This was actually Garrett’s idea to put dad & Stepmom first….but should I have stopped him? Is this the worst thing you have ever heard?
Love to hear any thoughts and/or similar problems and/or condolences ha 🙂
Post # 2
We did “The families of…” it was the only way we could think of to make sure everyone was happy.
Post # 3
Well, it might be too late, but I would have left grooms parents names off wedding invites, and just have them on RD invites, maybe compromise with on wedding put
under grooms name
son of Mom
and then on RD, let his dad send out invites (as he should)
There is no one right or wrong answer on handling steps on invites.
Post # 4
grooms family didnt need to be on the invite if they’re only doing the rehearsal dinner- thats a seperate event and invite. “Together with their families, Bride and Groom…” always works too for more complex scenarios or the couple ho$ting.
You gotta ask the bees BEFORE you print, girl
Post # 5
Are doing something along the lines of:
Mrs Meowton’s parents invite you to the wedding of their daughter
MrsMeowton to MrMeowton
son of MrMeowtonSr and MrandMrsStepDadandMom
Post # 6
Ya I was more writing it for moral support, its definitely too late to change it. Also it wasnt really up to me (how the Fiance wanted it) but ya I should have just left them all off the invite I guess.
Anyway how did I find out about this displeasure? She emailed my mom to complain about how she is an afterthought and how could her son do this yada yada. So now cats out of the bad that my MIL is totally crazy. We were kind of trying to keep that under wraps until after the wedding…
Anyway. It happened. Hopefully she gets over it!
Post # 7
I dont think she is crazy. If I were a divorced mom who was primarily responsible for raising kids, and someone else was labeled parent, and got top billing, I think I would be upset. I get it, that DADs GF is doing more wedding planning, but I dont think that makes her a parent. I suspect fiancee was like well whatever. I feel bad for her.
Post # 8
I just wanted to say I feel your pain- Fiance’s parents are divorced for 10 years and will see each other for the first time at the rehearsal dinner. We phrased the invites to read “Together with their parents, Fiance and 1Bride2Bee2014 invite you to a celebration of love” etc.
I have a relationship with both his mother and stepmother, and the divorced parties are not cordial. Neither does the mother like the stepmother etc. I spoke with Fiance and he said we are not to play into their drama. Invite both mom and stepmom to all events, say “parents”, and if they have issues with it that is their problem. We are not picking sides. I’ve just found that you cannot please everyone, even with good intentions.
Post # 9
Well, what’s done is done, but your fiance isn’t the stepmum’s son. She should not have been listed first. The mum probably should have come first, followed by the dad and the stepmum. I’d be furious if I were his mum. Leaving parental names off the invites entirely would have been better. Although I am sure he didn’t mean it this way, the current wording looks (even to guests receiving invites) like a deliberate slight – a family issue being played out in a semi-public manner.
And although his mum probably shouldn’t have contacted your mum (as what could she do about it anyway?), I think labelling her as “totally crazy” is unfair. At least it is unfair to label her that way based on this issue. If there are other reasons we don’t know, I guess we can’t comment on that.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle
I think she has a right to be upset, but you dont need to worry about it.. u didnt make the decision. I would have put it:
MOB – FOB
MOG – FOG – SMOG
I agree with pp that she did raise him and she is his mother (i dont like my own mother but she did raise me..) But in the end it was FI’s decision so you dont need to worry about it.. she will have to get over it.. or be crabby at her son forever?..