(Closed) Etiquette for 'and guest'

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Putting “and guest” on a mailing envelope isn’t so much an etiquette issue as a “will the post office machines accept this, or is it going to end up getting returned to me” issue.  If you want to risk it, I say go for it.

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Will you be including names on an RSVP card? That might be the best place to put the “and guest.” 

Post # 7
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn

 @yogaqueen: I’m sure this is against etiquette but I plan on writing “& guest” on the single envelope. Unless you want to communicate to them through word of mouth that it is fine to bring a guest, I don’t see another way.

@SapphireSun:  Why would that cause a problem? Sometimes when I send cards to my sister, I address them ro “The Lovely and Fabulous sister’s name” lol. I don’t think the name matters as long as the address is right.

 

Post # 9
Member
2061 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@yogaqueen:  Technically you are suppose to find out who the person is going to bring and add their name to the outer envelope. Etiquette fanatics say the outer envelope is only the instructions to the post office.

But I’m not doing that – I’m addressing outer envelopes to Ms. Jane Doe and Guest.

Post # 10
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn

@yogaqueen:  It’s still helpful to be clear. I’m only inviting significant others that my friends are engaged or married to or couples that have to travel long distances. My cousin’s on-and-off girlfriend? A no-go. It may be clear to those you are giving guests to, but those who aren’t getting guests might assume it’s fine for them to bring one if you don’t specify.

Post # 13
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@FutureMrsWeston:  Yeah, I always heard you WEREN’T supposed to do stuff like that.  Something about the legalities of sending mail addressed clearly as to who is supposed to open it.  I’m sure it’s one of those things that’s like they “could” refuse to post it, but rarely happens.  I guess if something came to your house “and guest” anybody could open it with the “defence” that they’re “and guest”, so the post office doesn’t like it.  I’d risk it and hope that I didn’t catch some postal worker in a bad mood.

 @CityBearBride:  If you want to get SUPER technical, you’re supposed to find out the name of the guest and if they don’t live at the same residence, send them their own SEPARATE invite to their own residence.  That sounded like way too much of a PITA to me, so I ignored this one.

Post # 14
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d put a line on your RSVP card like __ seats reserved for you. Then you don’t need to put ‘guest’ anywhere, they’ll get it! 

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