- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
My fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves and getting no help from our families, so of course we are running into the invitation etiquette of who we *want* to invite versus who we feel obligated to invite. For example, my mother is insisting on me inviting my uncles (one of whom I haven’t spoke to in years) and has already informed them of the date, thus they have already booked a flight and hotel. But more of a headache, I work in a small-ish office that is just large enough to be highly annoying as to figuring who to invite and who not to.
We wanted a nice and classy but fun reception at a location we loved. With it came a higher cost, but we were willing to deal with it because it was high on our priority list of wedding details. However, it reduces how many people we can afford to invite. My fiance and I came up a little bit of solution for some of our guest list woes. We decided to have a brunch/BBQ/informal reception of sorts the following day, thus allowing us to have a celebration with all of our friends if possible. Let me make note, I do not expect a gift from anyone who is not invited to the formal reception, and if there is a way of politely letting people know that, I have no qualms with that (any suggestions are invited!).
So the question I’m finding myself running up against is twofold. First, I’m considering not inviting anyone from my office to the formal reception but having them come to the next day brunch. This would keep me from having to upset certain people versus others as to who got invited to which part. However, I’m not sure if this will cause a larger upset in the end. Second, my shower is coming up and I’m trying to figure out the guest list. There are some girls from my office I’d like to invite, but if they are not invited to the “formal” reception, is this going to be an issue. (Again, to me it’s not about gifts, I just want my friends there to celebrate with me.)
This is supposed to be a happy time and yet I just spent the last hour crying because I’m too worried about hurting people’s feelings and making sure I can afford to pay for everything. So I am desperately in need of some advice!!!
On a side note, I know there’s all this wedding etiquette and whatnot, and I’m not trying to be rude or improper or anything. But in all honesty, if I’m paying for this huge party (at over $130 a person!), why the heck can’t I dictate what’s good etiquette and what’s not???