Etiquette: Guest list

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Depends on wether or not you are inviting other close relatives of hers, or if you are say going to invite most of the maternal cousins except for her? If so, invite her. If you’re not inviting most or all, don’t fret. FI has close and not so close cousins and we are inviting the very close, sibling-like ones and those we see at almost every social gathering, but others whom they see less than once or twice a year arent getting an invite. Also, Im inviting my maternal cousins, my mum is only one of two kids so her side is very small and we see them all every year. However my dad is one of 9, with two deceased siblings. No one but my dad and his long-term partner are getting an invite and not one of them will care, let along their kids!

I never assume Im going to someones wedding unless its pretty immediate family, so I would hope they don’t assume either.

Either way she hates you, what more damage could you do? 😉

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

When did your grandfather get remarried?

If his step-kids and his bio-kids grew up together, then I would definitely invite the cousins (sorry!), but if he re-married when they were all adults, I would feel more comfortable JUST inviting the bio-kids (assuming you’re not having a 200 or 300 person blow-out wedding!)

Post # 5
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Its fine.   Its not like you are snubbing a parent or sibling.

Post # 6
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

She might not come, but you probably need to invite her.  Just to be courteous- take the high road! There are no rules, however, on whether or not you need to speak with her at the wedding if she comes.. you’ll be busy with wedding stuff anyway..

Post # 7
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@daniellenshriver:  You are going to get many responses that tell you that you must draw a line in the sand and then invite everyone of that arbitrary blood line.

BUT…..no etiquette expert endorses this.  Choosing to invite people based on level of closeness is just as (if not more valid, IMO) arbitrary blood level.

Though keep in mind it is possible to be perfectly polite and still upset people.

Post # 8
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I wouldn’t invite her. It might cause a rift, but you need to assert yourself. I won’t put up with anyone being nasty to me, and inviting a nasty person to your wedding is a recipe for disaster. If someone calls you out on it – I would say she’s always been mean, if she apologizes to you before the wedding and amends her behavior, you will reconsider your decision. 

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