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Honestly, I think at this point it is too late. If you can't afford to invite these extra people, then you can't afford it. You might want to talk to the ones you are closer to and indicate that you are having a very small, family only wedding and that you were hoping that they could share in your day somewhat by attending the shower.
I agree with Mrs. Louboutin... there isn't much you can do about it now. My mom invited two ladies to the bridal shower that aren't invited to the wedding after I asked her not to. Since she did it anyway, after I asked her not to, I made her talk with them and explain that they will not be recieving an ivitation to the wedding, but that we wanted to include them in the shower. I also had her tell them not to bring a gift, that way I wouldn't feel as awkward about the whole thing.
Nothing you can do. How unfortunate that your mom decided to go behind your back like that. :(
Wow, I really sympathize with you. Sometimes people only hear what they want to hear. I am sure your mom is really excited for you and wants to share that with everyone. That said, I agree with the other ladies-its too late to take the invites back. If you can give those that you are close with the heads up on the non-invite to the wedding and ask (no tell :-)) your mom to do the same, that might ease your mind a bit. Some may opt to bring you a gift even if you tell them not to. You should not feel pressured to invite more than you budgeted for.
Wedding planning can be so awkward...I had a few people assume they were invited to my wedding last week, and I had to let them know otherwise. blech!
Good luck!
Honestly it will be OK. We are having a small DW and some people from my parents neighborhood have been invited to our couples shower who did not get invites. They're totally fine with it, but our shower is a wine shower so if they want, a $10 bottle of wine is totally fine. Plus they get to spend some time with us that they wouldn't have otherwise.
Thanks ladies. I just phoned my mom and asked her what the heck she was thinking. My mom is a really sensitive person (read: she cries at the drop of a hat) and immediately burst into tears. But I stood my ground and said I was upset becuase she seemed like she deliberately ignored me. Like Ms. Mojito said, sometimes she hears only what she wants to hear. She went on to provide a lengthy explanation about how she was just excited and most of the people won't come, etc. Then she threw at me : "You said I could do whatever I want and you wouldn't interfere". Now when I said that, I meant she could decorate however she wanted, play whatever shower games she wanted, and I wouldn't interfere.
I guess the problem stemmed from her not understanding it was rude to begin with. At the end of the conversation, she said "you are just going by what those stupid internet sites say" (regarding bridal shower etiquette). I am not a bridezilla at all, but I would just feel horrible if someone I barely knew came to the shower and bought me a nice wedding gift, and then I couldn't invite them to the wedding.
Now I feel bad becuase my mom is upset. Grr...she always seems to win these little battles!
I think it will be okay, seriously. I am probably going to have a shower with guests that are not invited to the wedding because that's what the hostess wants to do. I've been to these before, and while its a little awkward when some people seem to expect that they will be invited, more than anything they are just excited to have an opportunity to celebrate with you and feel involved.
I would just make sure to use this line often, especially around those who won't be invited -- "I am just so overwhelmed by how generous and sweet all of you are! It really wasn't necessary, but I am so glad you were able to come! It's great to have these parties where I can celebrate with lots of people, since we are having such a small family wedding."
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Oh lordy...
So bees, despite my explaining to my Mom several times about it being rude to invite guests to you shower who are not invited to your wedding, and making her promise up and down not to do it, she did it. And not only that, she sent out paper invitations to some, but then made the rest into a FACEBOOK EVENT!! I am beyond mortified and embarrassed. We are having a small wedding with only 60 people, and more that 3/4 of the people she invited on Facebook will not be receiving an invitation to the wedding. And now its too late to do anything, becuase she already invited them!
I am really upset that my mom went against my wishes and invited those she knows will not receive an invite to the wedding. So now really this will probably fall back on me as being gift grabby and rude!!! I didn't even want a bridal shower in the first place, but my mom was so devastated at not having one that I just decided to let her throw one if it would make her happy.
It is not an option to invite the extra people she invited to the shower to the wedding. Our budget is really tight and we can afford another 40 guests, let alone some guests I don't even know.
What do I do! :(