(Closed) Etiquette No-No….. And I was the guilty one.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m glad it turned out well for you : )

Post # 4
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Looking back, my ex used to take care of giving a card to the brides and grooms of the weddings we went to.  I remember once, he didn’t actually come to the wedding after RSVPing at the last minute.   Looking back, I really, really hope that he gave them the card and money he said he was going to.

Embarrassing for me now that I am no longer with him and see his true colours.   It wasn’t me, per say, but I was a guest at those weddings.

Post # 5
1231 posts
Bumble bee

but sometimes you just need to know, especially when you are that close. Men are clueless. MY SO has gotten a few wedding invites and he tells me when it is and I say was I invited? and he would say of course (we’ve been together over 4 years and his mom practically has us married already! lol) but I would make him check the envelope to make sure it says and guest. I would never want to be that uninvited guest that just shows up! It’s not like you were asking a distant cousin or someone he works with, it was your SIL lol!

Post # 6
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honestly, with the history, I wouldn’t have probably sent you an invitation either.  Sounds like even though you are not in the wedding party, you have been part of the process, so, like her, I would have just assumed you knew you were coming:) 

Consider it flattery:) 

Post # 7
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think in your case it was an etiquette breach. You had a pretty reasonable expectation that you were invited.  🙂

Post # 8
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

A similar thing happened to me years ago, when my brother got married. I didn’t get my own invitation and didn’t realize that my boyfriend (now FI) was also invited. It didn’t occur to me to ask, I just assumed he wasn’t invited since no one mentioned it. And apparently my mom RSVP’d for everyone in the family and just assumed my Boyfriend or Best Friend was coming without mentioning it to me. LOL.

So of course, when he didn’t attend, everyone thought it was super weird and there was an empty spot at the table. Sigh. thanks mom!

Post # 9
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Siblings should be allowed A guest provided that this guest is either a date that they have known for a while or a girlfriend/ boyfriend/ fiancé/ husband or wife. I don’t care whose wedding it is I hate to see people post on these boards saying they are not invited to their future sister in law’s / brother in law’s wedding etc. I also hate to see brides “vent” over “My future sister in law wants to bring her boyfriend grrrr”. What a load of nonsense making a sibling sit alone at their wedding. 

Anyway had it been my future sister in law I would have asked her too. It’s only right!

Post # 10
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Haha. I’m not laughing at you but at the awkwardness of the situation. I’m glad you said something! Perceptions can be so different from person to person and who KNEW what she was thinking and if it was in line with you?

All’s well that ends well 🙂

Post # 11
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally I think her etiquette no-no of not sending an invite is worse than your asking if you were invited! I’ve never heard of not sending one to someone because they’re “family” or in the bridal party!

Post # 12
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have.  Twice.  And I knew I was doing it (well, didn’t KNOW because it was pre-bee but had an inkling) but I had a valid reason, in my mind, both times.  

The first time was a wedding that took place about 6 months after Darling Husband1 passed away.  The STD had been sent to both of us, but he passed away first.  I received an invitation, and it didn’t say plus one or and guest, and I wrote one in.  Why?  Because there was NO way I was going to a wedding alone, as the widow, and be lonely and depressed all night, have no one to dance with, and since I ended up being seated with my someone’s parents I did it.  Luckily the bride didn’t mind, and I think was relieved that I wouldn’t be crying all night.  

The same thing happened about 2 months later, my 2 closest friends got married (well, they already married, this was their anniversary party / reception).  They didn’t write +1 on my invitation, and it irked me.  It wasn’t my fault I was alone, I still didn’t want to be alone at a wedding all sad and depressed,with the whole ‘widow’ stigma hanging over my head, so I RSVP’d for 2 instead of 1.  Nothing was said, I think they were taken aback, but they never said anything. 

In both cases, skipping the wedding was not an option, so I felt I had little choice.  

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