Weddingbee boards

I *am* a stickler for following the rules of etiquette, and this would bother me, but I can in fact see "green" alternatives to the current norm of thank-you cards.

I look at it this way: when I was a girl if I wanted to communicate in text, I wrote a letter. I wrote letters to my girlfriends as often and for the same reasons that modern girls post blogs or facebook status; I wrote letters of complaint or catalog order letters as often and for the same reasons that modern girls click on the "contact us" link on commercial websites. And I wrote thank-you notes on my birthday or Christmas day or any other time I received a gift because writing notes was how people communicated. When I started using a ball-point pen instead of a fountain pen to write notes, my Great-aunt Vespasia had palpitations. But I happen to know that Auntie Vespasia was taught in school to write a proper copperplate hand with a dip-pen and that fountain pens were considered a "tacky" and "rude" innovation on her part.

So if a bride chooses to send her personal correspondence to me by a personal, individual, meaningful and well-written email then who am I -- ball-point pen user that I am -- to object? It's the thought, wording and personal attention that matter; not the kind of pen she uses (and an email programme is just a really sophisticated way of putting words on record, just as is a fountain pen). Feel free to "go green" by using email if you like. But at the same time, don't use the "go green" excuse if your family car is an SUV or you are living as a couple in a 3000 square-foot home or wearing a single-use wedding gown with a carbon footprint bigger than that of an entire third-world village.

For the record, I now use the new liquid-ink rolling ball pens that are as convenient as a ball-point but write even more smoothly than a fountain pen -- and as far as anyone can tell Auntie Vespasia is NOT rolling over in her grave.

That's a pretty rude announcement. Did they make the announcement when it was too late to ask for your gift back? Humph!

One major problem (other than the blatant rudeness) is that you wouldn't know for sure if the gift actually got to them!

i used to hate writing thank yous, but now take pride in them.  They're such a nice way to acknowledge gratitude.

I think it is just plain rude and selfish. Sorry. I spend time thinking about a couple and the gift I want to get them. I look at registries very early on and purchase items as soon as financially possible for me, so that I get them a gift with meaning (to our relationship or to my understanding of the couple) that they can use or enjoy. I would be really offended if I didn't get a thank you.

SOOO RUDE!!!  I seriously think that I'd be picking up my gift on the way out the door...  because if you can't be bothered to be thankful... well then I don't think I can be bothered to think that it's worth celebrating or spending my time or money on someone who doesn't appreciate their family and friends.