Etiquette question

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If your parents aren't helping with the wedding costs AT ALL, do you still give them a gift?
    Yes : (30 votes)
    43 %
    No : (25 votes)
    36 %
    Depends (explain) : (15 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @TeeBee25:  I don’t think you have to get them a gift, but maybe you could do something simple like a framed picture?  I think it also depends on how close you are and how supportive they are.  I believe it was “customary” because typically the bride’s parents paid for the wedding and the groom’s parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.

    Post # 4
    Member
    42472 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @TeeBee25:  We gave our parents gifts to thank them for our upbringing and their support of the relationship. It had nothing to do with whether or not they contibuted to the wedding.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    6505 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @julies1949:  +1

    Our gifts to our parents had nothing to do with them contributing to our wedding. It was more of a “thanks for being there” gift. However, they are not necessary and I know plenty of people IRL who didn’t get their parents a gift.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6026 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Your parents raised you to be the kind of woman that your fiance wants to marry, and his raised him to be the kind of man that you want to marry.  As you close one chapter of your lives and open a new one, it’s only fitting that you thank them for all of that hard work, with a suitable gift.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8706 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Yes. They’re your parents. They have been your rock, your emotional support, and they raised you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @TeeBee25:  Giving gifts to the parents, as I understand it, is a new tradition.

    Post # 10
    Member
    42472 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @ellie-b:  Not so new. We did the same at my first wedding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4468 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @TeeBee25:  We didn’t do specific wedding gifts, but we paid for my Dad’s hotel and paid for Mom to come on vacation with us twice at a later time. 

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @housebee:  I said depends frankly because I don’t think the gifts for parents should hinge on whether or not they contributed financially.

    We didn’t do gifts for the parents and we paid for the wedding ourselves, the two were unrelated. We just didn’t think it was necessary.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3373 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @TeeBee25:  I would have said “no” but the posters whos uggest honoring parents for raising you with a gift–hat’s a nice idea. I don’t see how it is an etiquette issues, however.

    And a nice letter thankin parents for all they’ve done for you is as good as a physical object or vacation or whatever since that’s the sentiment.

    We don’t do gift much in my family so it would be weird.

    Post # 14
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @TeeBee25:  I don’t see the point in giving someone else a gift for my wedding that I paid for. Seems a bit ass backwards to me.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9529 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If they helped with planning or were just really supportive during the planning process, then I would. I mean people give gifts to readers and guestbook attendents and such and they don’t contribute financially to the wedding.

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