Post # 1
I have an etiquette question I’m hoping to get some input on. My FI is thinking he’d like to go get a straight shave the day of the wedding and invite the groomsmen and dads (and pay). Now my best man is gay and has a BF, and he’ll be coming to the wedding. FI’s brother is also gay and has a long term partner.
So FI is wondering if he needs to invite these significant others along with the rest of the groomsmen. Now, if they were in hetero relationships, then obviously the girls wouldn’t be invited along on a guy’s activity. But it gets a little cloudier when we’re talking about all guys.
The other thing is, he barely knows my best man’s BF, we’ve only met him once. And he’s not a big fan of his brother’s partner. So in a way, I kind of feel like he should not be obligated to invite these guys that he’s not close to, just because they’re significant others. I don’t want anyone to be offended because they’re not included, but they aren’t in the wedding party.
Post # 3
I’d say that he is under no obligation to invite these guys. They aren’t part of the bridal party.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t invite them because they’re not part of the bridal party.
Post # 5
I say no. They aren’t part of the bridal so don’t need to be invited. The best heterosexual example I can think of is the head table, the dates usually don’t sit there as well.
Post # 6
I agree, I would not invite them. The shave is a gift to his bridal party and the SOs are not part of the bridal party.
Post # 6
I think if your guest is gay or hetero, and will not know anybody there, then they get a +1.
If you are engaged or live with the significant other, than you have a +1.
If you want to, if your guest has been with their GF or BF for a long time ( you can set the time) and you know it’s going somewhere or you know it’s not a fling, then they get a +1
If this person’s potential guest has offended you or FI in the past..no +1!!!
Post # 7
@jussanuthagrl: I think your suggestions are fine for a wedding itself, but not for all the pre-wedding or getting ready events.
Post # 8
i think it’s fine to invite them if they are in serious relationships, he doesn’t HAVE to, but if he gets along with their partners too, then why not….. maybe get the guy in the party to suggest to their partners, they can come if they want, but only the wedding party is haveing it payed for. If he’s not that close with the partners, then no, i wouldn’t invite them.
my FH’s best man has been in a relationship for 10 years, unmarried, and we’ve invited her to everything and she’s been great, and we really adore her. i never met her before we picked our parties…. but my FH knew her.
Post # 9
Okay, I’m glad I’m not crazy and you guys seem to agree with me. I thought maybe I was being a giant b*tch by thinking they shouldn’t be included. His brother’s partner is already driving me crazy by wanting to match (wear the exact same tux and same color tie) as FI’s brother. He kept talking about how they’re going to be in so many pictures together and it would be great to match. He seemed a little shocked when I asked him to get a different color. And I have a feeling he’s going to get upset when he finds out that we’re driving around in the limo for 2 hours after the ceremony to take pictures and he can’t come because a)he’s not a groomsman, and b)there’s no more room in the limo.
@jussanuthagrl: This is not for the wedding itself. These significant others will be attending the wedding.
Post # 10
I have been on the opposite end of this and trust me, they will be relieved not to be invited!
Post # 11
oops. voted yes, but i meant NO!
Post # 12
If FICarnival was in a wedding and I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have the expectation to be included in the bride’s maids activities. I think you’re right on this one. Also, tell FI’s partner that they can coordinate, not match–it’s a fashion faux pas committed many a time by gay men and lesbians (I’ve been guilty of it myself).
Post # 13
I think if they want to come along and also get shaves, then fine. But since they are not part of the wedding party then they have to pay their own. I think this is fair.