(Closed) Etiquette question?!?!?!??! Not Inviting Children…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Oh man.  That’s too bad.  My vote would be to go ahead as you are thinking, just adults.  (There isn’t a better way to cut the list down.)  I would somehow make sure people knew the reason why their kids are not invited now.  Put it on your website…. Call them personally..  Spread by word of mouth.  I would think people would be understanding.

Post # 4
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

Did your STD’s specify that it was to a couple and their children?  If not, you should be fine.  Otherwise, I would explain to everyone (or ask your parents or his to) the situation and while you would obviously love to invite their kids, and were originally planning on it, your situation has forced you to not be able to do that anymore.  Hopefully most people, especially family, would understand.  10-15% of people dont come RSVP "yes" so you should be fine in that respect if you already have it down to 285 and need to get 250.  Maybe its a possibility to have a smaller dance area or put more people (comfortably) to a table if you see that you are going to have more than 250.

Post # 5
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Maybe in tiny writing on the bottom of the itinerary card write ~Adult Reception Only~. I doubt you would get 45 people to say no. Man, sounds like a hard decision. Good Luck!

Post # 7
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Well you did all you could do.  The situation is beyond your control.  If your family talks behind your back, it’s their own problem to deal with.  Good luck with the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

It seems like it worked out pretty well… and you can’t do anything if they talk behind your back! 🙂

I think that most of your guests would understand, since it seems like your true original intention was to invite the kids, and since the venue change is essentially the reason behind your change. Thanks for letting us know how it turned out! 

Post # 9
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We’re doing the same thing — no childern at the reception.  The reception card should say:

Please join us for an Adult Reception following the ceremony.

Also address the envelopes to just the parents and on the RSVP card write :

[ ] will be joyfully attending

___ of ___ in party (and fillin the second blank w/ the # attending)

[ ] respectfully decline

Also reiterate an adult reception/ceremony on your website.  If theres still a problem, then its time for a phone call.

Hope this helps!

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