Post # 1
We are planning to host a post-wedding brunch at the hotel where we and our guests will be staying. This is not a destination wedding, and we will have guests that drive home at the end of the night and do not stay in the hotel.
While everyone will receive an insert in the invitation inviting them to brunch, we are really aiming towards those guests staying in the hotel (for a budget reason). Is it tacky / rude to put on the wedding website “For our (insert hotel name) guests” or “For our guests staying at the (hotel)”..you are invited to….(insert brunch info here). Same question goes for the insert – is it against etiquette to specify that the brunch is for our hotel guests??
Happy to hear any suggestions!! My mom and I think that the number of people that would drive home and potentially come back is so minimal that it is not worth looking tacky or rude on the website / invitation, but, wanted to get some opinions. Thanks
Post # 2
DrKaz: If you know for certain exactly WHO is staying at the hotel, and would be invited to the brunch, you can put the invitation in their envelope. If you don’t know exactly who will be at the hotel, I’d suggest either inviting everyone, and hoping those driving home will decline, or make a set guest list and stick with it, no matter where they are staying.
Somehow the phrase “for our hotel guests” sounds off putting to me.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
If it’s the same day as the wedding, it sounds like a reception? Is that what you’re aiming for? Then differentially inviting people would be very tacky, yes. If it’s just a brunch the day after, then traditionally those are reserved for very close friends and immediate family anyway. You may, however, be able to spread via word of mouth that guests staying in the hotel can join you as well. I wouldn’t put something on the website – that sounds a little rude. “You can keep the celebration going, but only if you shell out to stay at XYZ hotel!”
Post # 4
DrKaz: Yes, that would be rude. You can’t send people an invitation to an event to which they are not invited.
Either invite all of your guests to the post-wedding brunch, send an invitation only to those staying at the hotel, or simply extend a word of mouth invitatation when you see people that weekend.
Post # 5
Thanks, everyone! @rachel85 – It is the day after the wedding (the morning after the reception). We are having a large reception the night before at a different venue, and, the brunch is being held in the hotel ballroom the next morning.
It’s funny how just writing the words out in my post and then reading all of your replies has really made me realize how tacky and rude it would look. Thank you so much..headed to edit the website!
Post # 6
DrKaz: If you are providing goodie bags for those guests that are staying at the hotel you can provide an insert that explains the brunch.
Most weddings that I have been to where I stayed at the hotel, I learned about the brunch from a card that was inside the goodie bag that was placed in my hotel room…….
Post # 7
If you’re in my situation, we had to give a headcount to the hotel for the brunch, so we needed RSVPs in advance. My stepmom sent out an invitation to our next day brunch that was separate from the wedding invitation. She sent it to all the guests on our list, and as far as I know it worked out that only the folks staying over night are planning to come. I agree with your mom that the chances of someone coming back for brunch – if they’re not staying at the hotel – are pretty minimal.