(Closed) Etiquette regarding vendors you don’t go with

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I always let them know that we are unfortunately going to pass on their services. It’s just considerate of their time. Sometimes the vendor doesn’t email you back or they say thank you for considering us and good luck with wedding planning. You never know if you will be that bride that wants a vendor but you have to wait because someone else inquired about the same date before you and they are waiting to hear back from that bride. 

Post # 4
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

oh and sometimes they email you back and try to work with you with time or prices, so you could also save some money!

Post # 5
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would say dropping a quick email is fine for vendors that you had in-depth discussions with.

However, if you checked out a venue or a florist and they didn’t really provide much assistance, then don’t feel obligated to let them know. I went to a second venue and she barely made an effort to ask questions (she know I was coming a week before and the entire banquet room was a mess from their last wedding which was MONTHS ago). Because they didn’t keep much effort in selling their venue, I didn’t feel obligated.

If its a florist or a photographer who sits down with you and discusses in detail what they can do on your day, then I think a quick note is appropriate.

Post # 6
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hi,
I would agree also it’s dependent upon how much communication happened between you and the vendor. If your communication only consisted of you asking for quotes and them emailing you back a simple price list. I see no reason to email them back on that. What I have seen happen with me a lot if that often vendors will email me back after a week or so has passed inquiring if I have a selected a vendor yet. If not, can they help me with anything else, pricing budget concerns, etc. If you have the time for it this might be a good negotiating tactic.
On the other hand I have notice the "bigger" names don’t tend to do this as much. Probably bc they have no problem getting business!

Post # 7
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I always use the line of thinking, "don’t burn your bridges."  If I’ve had telephone or email conversations or sometimes, even if we just shared one or two emails back and forth regarding their services, I let the vendors know we won’t be using them…simply because down the line, if we get stuck without a vendor or our vendor goes out of business, you never know if you might need to contact them again! 

Post # 8
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m a wedding officiant (as well as a bride planning my own wedding), and I really appreciate when couples I meet with take a few minutes to email me and let me know that they’re not going to use my services. 

I actually like when anyone I’ve contacted me definetly lets me know yes or no – but if we’ve both taken time out of our schedules to meet up and discuss the whole plan – a simple email is really appreciated.  I feel like – we both took a good two hours out of our days with traveling, meeting, and coffee drinking, along with a discussion – the least that can be done if you’ve decided to go in another direction is an email.

But I think this depends on the vendor – like, my mom and I went to see a venue, and even though we had provided the coordinator with a lot of information prior to the meeting (smaller wedding, specific day and time), she had her assistant handle all of the email correspondence, and had no clue who we were or what we were looking for.  She showed us something way out of our budget, and was nice, but we didn’t click at all.  I don’t think I emailed her to say that we weren’t going to be having the wedding there.

So yeah – if it’s a smaller vendor or venue – definetly send an email.  It’s just nice.

Post # 9
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Man, I felt so awkward turning downthe other florists we considered that I wrote a blog post about what a strange experience it was. I ended up shooting the other two a short e-mail saying "Thanks, but we’re going with someone else." One wrote back asking if I’d had experience working with the floral consultant I talked to. It made me wonder if they’d had other complaints about her and confirmed my decision.

Post # 10
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Good question!  I think it is good etiquette to let a vendor know if you will not be using his or her services.  This holds especially true for those vendors who took the time to meet with you in person, discuss your wedding with you over the phone, or tentatively penciled you in for your wedding date.  It is considerate of the vendor’s time and to other brides who may be interested in your date. 

This practice also benefits you, because you never know when you’ll want to do future business with a vendor.  If your first choice backs out for some reason, you may need to go back to your second choice.  Or you may need to work with a vendor for a non-wedding related event after you’re married.

You are not obligated to give a reason, but sometimes honesty can pay off for you.  For instance, if you explain that you love their work but unfortunately, can’t afford their services, a vendor may take that opportunity to negotiate prices.  This isn’t common for very popular vendors who book up quickly, but those who are newer to the business may be willing to work with you.

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

A lot of the vendors called ME back to follow up.

I simply told them i decided to go with another vendor. Why they ask? I told them they were more affordable and/or I thought the other vendors’ style was more my taste. Nobody was weird about it except for one photography studio who tried to rush me out (i went all by myself) because they double booked consulting appointments for photos and the second bride showed up late with daddy and his check book in tow and her entire entourage. Needles to say, he made a point of telling everyone this. Any studio who kicks me out doesn’t deserve my money!

Not a fan of their not-so-hot work anyways

 

Post # 12
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with the other gals.  Just think, if you had been waiting to know if they would be able to help you on your special day and you go with someone else then at least they’ll know.  Never hurts to extend that quick email because you never know what will come out of it too.  Also, what if your vendor of choice backs out at last minute and you need help pronto, maybe you can use the people who were next in line and explain the situation and ask them for help.

Post # 13
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think you were reading my mind! I’ve been thinking about this all day. I finally figured out how I was going to tell this one vendor that I’d be using someone else and sent the email off.

We had been experiencing a lot of difficulty scheduling an appointment because his office is about 45 minutes away. (I live in the city, he lives in the country.) Personally, I was also irritated that he wasn’t making more of an effort to come to me to get my business. (Is that bad?) 

The reason I gave was that our scheduling conflicts led me to want to work with someone locally. I expected to get some sort of feedback, but I had no idea he would write back telling me that using another vendor because of their location would be a mistake… I don’t really know how to respond to that? 

 Any ideas? 

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Nah, I kinda think if someone wants your business, they’ll at least try to work with you on the phone and some other things. My experience with the vendors I have now is that they are all very flexible regarding my schedule and the distance to come see them.

You could just respond, "This vendor just works better for us. Thanks for your help" and leave it at that. Definitely something close-ended. 

Or, just ignore his email. It doesn’t necessarily deserve a response. He just wants you to email back and say "oh why?" and then he’ll give you lots of reasons why he is better than your new vendor so you give him your business. 

Post # 15
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Definitely let them know you’re not using them.  I do some wedding coordination on the side and it’s really annoying when someone tells me they’re interested and I hold the date for them but never hear back.  It’s a courtesy–and don’t feel nervous they’re going to be upset you didn’t choose them…it’s all part of having a business!

Post # 16
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’ve been letting people know by email, for the most part.  I’ve wondered if it’s rude not to call, but seems that is a consensus.  Since I’m West Coast and my vendors are Eastern time, it’s hard to call during business hours.  We just made a deposit to a florist, so now I need to let the other one know (I might call, not sure).  I met with two others, but they never responded to my follow-up emails so I don’t feel I need to get in touch.

I had contacted several photographers, but I only emailed those who corresponded more than a form email or called.  I met with one woman who was supposed to send me links to work but she never did…so I also didn’t feel I owed her an extra effort to let her know I went with someone else.

I guess my feeling is that etiquette goes both ways.  For those people that reached out to me, I feel it’s common courtesy to return the favor and let them know.  For those who apparently decided my business was so unnecessary that after meeting me they did not feel the need to answer extra questions, I really don’t feel I owe them anything either.

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